kareena Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 So here's a shocker MM left me, AGAIN. I don't know what it is that makes me believe that each time would be different but I always end up alone and heartbroken. I honestly thought this time would be different since he moved out and all, now get this, he did not get back together with the Mrs., they're still proceeding with the divorce. He just doesn't want to be with me. I don't really get it I always gave him everything he wanted emotionally,physically,financially..etc I guess I'm just an ugly person who is not worthy of love or happiness. I really really really hate my life right now, everything is terribly wrong. Nothing is working out for me the way it's supposed to. I feel so stupid,I know I am. I keep making one terrible mistake after another one bad choice after another it's ridiculous,I'm ridiculous and pathetic. I really need him in my life but I can't force him to stay. Now I know that it wasn't the fact that he was married that was stopping him from being with me,it's the fact that he simply doesn't love me or want to be with me. But then again why lie about it? Of course I do understand why one would lie in such a situation but why lie to that extent? why the "forbidden love" drama? why the hopes and dreams?? why oh why?? His reason was (and I'm quoting) :" I don't want to jump into anything too fast, I need to figure out what I want first", I'm not even angry this time, I'm numb I just want this to stop. I want it all to end.
whichwayisup Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 So here's a shocker MM left me, AGAIN. I don't know what it is that makes me believe that each time would be different but I always end up alone and heartbroken. I honestly thought this time would be different since he moved out and all, now get this, he did not get back together with the Mrs., they're still proceeding with the divorce. He just doesn't want to be with me. I don't really get it I always gave him everything he wanted emotionally,physically,financially..etc I guess I'm just an ugly person who is not worthy of love or happiness. BE glad he didn't choose you. Look at the positives. This guy is so messed up and so used to being manipulative, he lies, he cheats, he hurts women. Both you and his wife. Instead of putting yourself down (STOP DOING THAT!) know that you ARE worthy of love, happiness. And you are beautiful. Don't let HIM or any other man make you feel less than a woman, make you feel ugly or unlovable. The situation itself, the A and how he's treated you has messed you up and the roller coaster ride of the A too. Start hanging out with those who know you well and love you, care about you. Friends, family, neighbours, co workers..People who will have your back no matter what. Don't let him ruin you! He's an idiot. I really really really hate my life right now, everything is terribly wrong. Nothing is working out for me the way it's supposed to. I feel so stupid,I know I am. I keep making one terrible mistake after another one bad choice after another it's ridiculous,I'm ridiculous and pathetic. I really need him in my life but I can't force him to stay. Now I know that it wasn't the fact that he was married that was stopping him from being with me,it's the fact that he simply doesn't love me or want to be with me. But then again why lie about it? Of course I do understand why one would lie in such a situation but why lie to that extent? why the "forbidden love" drama? why the hopes and dreams?? why oh why?? Grieve the loss. Get some counseling and fix yourself. If you are constantly making bad decisions and making mistakes, figure out why and learn how to avoid certain types of men and those types of relationships. Don't try to figure him out, only focus on you. His reason was (and I'm quoting) :" I don't want to jump into anything too fast, I need to figure out what I want first", I'm not even angry this time, I'm numb I just want this to stop. I want it all to end. You were his exit affair, and maybe he will always associate the D and the pain he caused his wife because he chose to have an A with you. He DOES need to be alone. It's better for him, better for you. He has to fix himself, he's a bloody mess and if stayed with you, the unhealthy dynamic and affair dynamic would still be on going and you wouldn't ever trust him. 1
Patrice Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 (edited) Good read on emotionally abusive men who do this ... it has sustained me. I am realizing that as I've grown as a person, addressed myself - that I was attracted to something that wouldn't have been good for me longterm. Lots of very nice men out there, and there is nothing to say he wouldn't do the same to you, if he was in a relationship with you. I'm wrestling with this now as he keeps trying to reenter my life ... and I think personally, he is getting closer to ending his marriage and now he is lost and afraid, because I have grown to much to allow it anymore ... Edited January 16, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed url to store front
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