KeepMeInMind Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Not the way you think I mean. I'm doing a bit of research to prove or disprove a belief system I have studied. So all I'm asking of you is, what was your state of mind in the time in your life when you met or got into a relationship with your partner? For example: You were feeling great about yourself and felt ready to be in a relationship. or You were feeling okay, getting by, etc, but felt like you'd never meet someone special. I know this sounds odd, but please humor me.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I was gutted and had just been through a broken engagement. 2
Author KeepMeInMind Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 I was gutted and had just been through a broken engagement. Thank you 1
Janesays Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 We met in the second grade. I felt neither feeling that you posted. I was doing Ok, getting by, recently divorced. But I also knew I'd find someone special sooner or later. I always do. The world is full of beauty if you're open to it. So I guess the answer is: I felt both ways. 2
Author KeepMeInMind Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Thank you! Please keep them coming.
plrs199 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I was feeling great and wasn't looking for a relationship. 1
Author KeepMeInMind Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 I was feeling great and wasn't looking for a relationship. Thank you.
frozensprouts Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I was drunk ( well I was) in all seriousness...I'd broken up with a guy I'd been seeing for over two years, as ( and this will sound horrible) he was beginning to show sign of mental illness and I tried my bets to get him to seek help, but he wouldn't, and being with him was very soul draining... about two months later, I met the guy I married at a bar near the university we both went to ( he was in one of my classes but i didn't know that..we've been married 15 1/2 years now)... I wasn't looking for any sort of relationship,as I was still feeling sad and drained by the relationship that had just ended, and I honestly didn't want to meet anyone... but I met him, we got on well, and I figured I might as well try... 1
Author KeepMeInMind Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 Thank you. I'm especially interested in the experiences where folks were in a bad or negative feeling place. Sad, hopeless, anything that is not super positive. It can even be doubtful. I am enjoying the actual story, too.
Author KeepMeInMind Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 Okay, I finally have a moment to give an explanation. There are people who believe that whatever you are thinking and feeling is what you will get more of. In other words, if you feel, or your dominant thoughts are, that you'll never meet someone, then you will never meet someone. Or, if you're trying to get back together with someone, and you are sad because they are not in your life anymore, you will get more of..them not being in your life. And that you can only get that great relationship when you are feeling really great. No sadness, no doubts, no instability. I'm not going to take this information to these people, so please don't think that is my intent. I spent a lot of time trying this belief system in a bad time in my life and came to realize recently how absurd it is. lol So this is more for myself and a dear friend of mine going through a similar situation. Thank you all!!
CarboniteCammy Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 When I met my husband, I wasn't looking for a long term relationship. I had been single for 8 months and was playing the field. I wasn't in a bad place mentally and just rather enjoyed hanging out and meeting new people.
Author KeepMeInMind Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 According to them, you would have only met men also only looking to play the field.
BetheButterfly Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I was feeling great about yourself and felt ready to be in a relationship! 1
melodymatters Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I had been widowed 2.5 yrs previously. I was just starting to consider dating again, but it almost felt like I was a teenager again and wasn't sure what to do, how i'd feel, even if I could kiss someone new. I went on three first dates, all awful and uncomfortable, but there was this cute younger guy I worked with, and shared my feelings with. I knew he had a crush on me, so I figured I'd lose my "widow virginity" with my cute, sweet, sexy buddy. I NEVER thought we would fall madly in love with each other and marry. We've been married 1.5 yrs now and been through many tough times, but the love is stronger than ever and I am so grateful to have him in my life. 5
CarboniteCammy Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 To be fair, he was the one looking for a serious relationship when we met. I just thought he was some cute red head looking to have fun. 2
Lauriebell82 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I first met my husband in 2005-we dated a little bit, but I still wasn't over my ex boyfriend of 3 years who I'd broken up with 9 months prior. I was still having trust issues so it just didn't work with us at that time. 2006: I had just broken up with another boyfriend who I'd only dated for 2 months. I was really hurt, mostly because of the loss of relationship (we had fun together). My husband IM'd me and asked if I wanted to "hang out" so we went to a move, it was just planned as a friend thing. But then he put his arm around me in the movie theater after I put my hand on his leg and it turned into a date. We started dating and fell in love after like a month and I pretty much forgot about my ex boyfriend right away (because it was short term) So I suppose you could say I dated my husband both times, while I was still hurting from a breakup. The second time I dated him on the rebound it worked out because it had just been a short term relationship and I forgot about my ex pretty quickly. 1
Silly_Girl Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I was feeling fantastic about myself after working through a huge heartbreak, and coming out the other side. I did not want a relationship but thought some casual dating would be enormous fun and very healthy, but I fell in love instead. 1
Author KeepMeInMind Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 I'm really happy to read all these stories! Thank you! Happy for you all!! 1
Author KeepMeInMind Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 I have known her for ever, she was literally the girl next door... also one o my first loves (infancy love ) Is amazing how life turns things ... my ex wife had to cheat on me so I could move on and find that my girl next door was still in love with me!! She is since then not anymore the girl next door but the girl inside who got me madly in love with her That's great!!
taiko Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I had accepted celibacy and the likelihood of being alone until death 1
Art_Critic Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 The state of my mind was great, had been dating for months since my last breakup and I started talking to this girl on match. We talked for a couple of weeks and the connection was there I then sent her my work email with my phone number. She emails me back and says " You're Art_Critic from So and So company?" .. We know each other... I'm "So and So from another company". She said.. your name and address has been post it noted on my computer monitor for years... Turned out that she worked for a client of mine and would send me work all the time... We had only spoken on the phone before... We have been married over 5 years and we now have a wonderful little 4 years old boy... I wasn't looking that hard in reality... 1
Author KeepMeInMind Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 I had accepted celibacy and the likelihood of being alone until death These people actually believe it impossible to meet a life partner in that state of being. You believe you'll be alone forever, so you'll get exactly that, according to them. They are dead serious, too. I'm loving all these stories, but especially ones like this, because it is okay to feel lonely, to feel hurt, to lose hope. It won't ruin your future. I'm not saying one should go around moping all the time! Live life to the fullest always. But it's okay to feel bad, too.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 The state of my mind was great, had been dating for months since my last breakup and I started talking to this girl on match. We talked for a couple of weeks and the connection was there I then sent her my work email with my phone number. She emails me back and says " You're Art_Critic from So and So company?" .. We know each other... I'm "So and So from another company". She said.. your name and address has been post it noted on my computer monitor for years... Turned out that she worked for a client of mine and would send me work all the time... We had only spoken on the phone before... We have been married over 5 years and we now have a wonderful little 4 years old boy... I wasn't looking that hard in reality... Your son is 4??? Holy crap, time flies!!!! 2
TiredFamilyGuy Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 (edited) We were both in other relationships. I found her interesting, but not attractive. The way she tells it, she found me attractive : in my private thoughts I think that is because my then partner was very into me, and my considered view is that in this matter, women in general and my wife in particular respond to mysterious female peer review, and having a girlfriend is a bonus point in that scoring process (don't think it works the same way for guys) That said, it took another nine years for us to get together. Edited January 18, 2013 by TiredFamilyGuy 1
Recommended Posts