TakeItEasy Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Some of you may have read my last thread about my partner having a porn addiction. Anyway, things were going quite well so we were looking for a house to move to a different state together. My car was in for a service on Friday and so I asked him to pick me up from work, the usual drone of how that would be so hard for him didn't come and he said "Sure babe,". So he picks me up from work around 8pm, tells me I look great and that he wants to sit at the park and chat for a bit. I knew something was wrong because self esteem boosts and romantic evenings aren't usually his forte. So we sat down, he started crying, telling me how great I was but we have to break up. He said we want different things in life and that we hold each other back. Of course I cried my eyes out too, but deep down I knew he was right. He also told me he didn't love me anymore. I'm still in love with him but I couldn't help but agree with him. He was very overprotective of me telling me how to dress, who to speak to, where I could go even though I had proved myself to be nothing but faithful to him. He was also very indecisive, wanting to move forward one day, not wanting to the next. He was very moody, angry at me one day, loving the next. He dropped me home, I was still crying my eyes out so I went to a friend who lives just down the road. We sat up until 6 in the morning just talking and watching girly movies. A pack of cigarettes later and I was feeling much better about the whole situation. I had a four day weekend from work which is just coming to an end and I spent the whole four days surrounded by friends. On Monday I had to see him again to exchange things as my headphones were in his car and I had some of his clothes in mine. I got to his house and we stood out the front for a quick chat, just before I was about to leave, he asked to go for a coffee. So off we went. He asked what I'd been doing and he was suprised at how possitive I was, saying I'd been going to the gym and spending all my time with my friends. He said all he'd been doing was working. He told me he has all this spare time on his hands but it's hard to fill and he's lonely. This morning I woke up and realised the whole time we were together I was focussed on him. (Hence his suprise when I said I was doing my own thing) I will not let that happen in a relationship again. Even though I am already missing him and I will be for a long time I am excited now to grow within myself and focus on my career and who I will be. I'm content with the situation and maybe one day when he's more mature and knows what he wants, we could be together but it's wrong for him right now and he needs to sort his life out before he brings someone else into it. I'm content and happy and looking forward to the future. I just wanted to share this with everyone to perhaps encourage other sore lovers to embark on their own journey without the need of someone by their side. Everyone has strength inside them and it took me a long time to find mine. All my friends are in serious relationships and if someone comes along and we fit each others lifestyles perfectly then that's fantastic but for now I'm just happy finding myself. S.
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