MyAngel Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I thought a random thread might help those that need to express how they are feeling each day, if you're having an off day or feeling really good! A place where we can quickly vent and help those around us. I'll start it off. Yesterday I had a pretty bad day. Very sad, pathetically sobbing. Yeah. I have had a somewhat better day today and managed to get through most of it with no tears until just before. I like it when (If this makes sense) I feel that I can't cry even if I wanted to. I can't even force the tears, you know? That makes me feel like I am getting better. It definitely is a roller coaster. I feel that I've had a couple of days of being very depressed and hopefully tomorrow and for the next few days I'll be feeling better. 1
hudson701 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Mornings are worse for me. Just woke up and the first thing I start thinking about is an exchange of text messages between my ex and her imaginary new bf. I imagined the sort of nice, warm things she would say (what she used to do with me) and what he would say back, and how I'll never be part of that anymore. It's really upset me this morning I don't know why my brain comes up with these hurtful fantasies. Absolutely ridiculous thoughts I know, but I can't help it.
th90 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I suddenly thought of the restaurant we frequented back in 2007 and tried almost everything on the menu. Even the owner knew us personally. I didnt feel very sad, nostalgic rather. I was just wondering if he still remember what we used to do and where we used to go. And how much we enjoyed it.
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I feel like crap this morning. Its almost 2 am in the morning and I woke up from a stupid nightmare about her and now I cant go back to sleep. The worst part about this is that I knew this was going to happen. You see, earlier today I had found out that she had moved out of the place that we had shared for almost 9 years. I went to the place because I still had my belongings there and I wanted to see what she took and what she left behind. I haven't step foot in that place for the last 3 months as she was still there. When I was there I was sad but I wasn't devastated like I thought I would be. I had thought that I have gotten to place in this stupid emotional roller coaster that I would be fine with it. Apparently not! I'm not really sad sad but my mind is going crazy thinking what could have been and what should have been if we were still together. Im tired of all this baggage and i'm tired of feeling this way. Its has gotten to the point where its more of an annoyance rather than hurt and pain. I just want to be done with this and I want her out of my head and life. When will this stupid roller coast end? I want off!!!!
FailedFirstLove Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 im feeling crappy tonight... i miss him like crazy. the anger isnt there today all i feel is sadness and how much i miss him. i wish he would just break down and call me and tell me he misses me and still loves me. even when he tries to move on he cant. just like how im feeling. but i know that we dont always feel the same way. his probably being kept busy and not thinking of it. his moved on with his life! why cant i! accept it dammit! stop looking for false hope thats not there! im only hurting myself more! i would give anything to hear him again . i miss talking to him. and even if i was to be friends... it will be a long while and he would have lost his feelings already by that time. im crying on the inside cause i took a stress relief pill. im calm but stressing inside. dont know how that works but it does
Harradin Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I have an exam tomorrow, so trying to keep busy by revising, but feeling the pain/longing today more then usual. I've gotten used to it so its not been that bad.
jovan Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Morning's are the worse. I cant sleep like a normal person anymore, am sleeping hour by hour constantly waking up by nightmares and dream's about doing stuff together and her breaking up again. Its like every night am going threw the day we broke up, and it always ends the same, me waking shaking and crying in the bed. Its like am forgetting that were not together every night, and remembering what happened every morning. Every morning is like am again accepting the fact's even thou were not together for 4 weeks now. She doesn't want me in her life and unbelievable. I cant believe that she trowed everything we had with no second thought's. She used to love me so much. What happened?
Njeanne Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I was doing good for past couple days, but now I'm feeling miserable again. I miss him sooo much, loosing your best friend is a horrible feeling.
ScienceGal Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 ... And, just started crying at work. Just great!
cavalier99 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 (edited) ... And, just started crying at work. Just great! Sorry. I guess that is better than being numb ...did you at least cry in the bathroom? Big hug? I'm feeling great today after my mini crisis and bout of morose sentimentality of yesterday. I have my deflector shields up! Warp speed ahead. Thoughts of her are just bouncing right off me. Love it! I think these small bouts and fits that we go thru make us stronger after we come out the other side and we are that much closer to being healed. ROCK ON! Cav Edited January 15, 2013 by cavalier99
ScienceGal Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I was alone at my desk, so no one saw. Going to be a heavy heart kind if day I guess. I suppose it's better than being numb, because at least I am letting it out and not risking bottling it up. Glad you're feeling better
cavalier99 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I was alone at my desk, so no one saw. Going to be a heavy heart kind if day I guess. I suppose it's better than being numb, because at least I am letting it out and not risking bottling it up. Glad you're feeling better Thanks. It is better to cry. Get it all out. Preferably at home. Lol. I even made an effort to force myself to cry early on, relive everything good and tell myself IT IS OVER, and totally lean into the pain. You'll find after a while it gets tougher to keep up the crying and you just give up.
na49 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I heard a song that reminded me of her at work last week. I had to hold back the tears. It was hard though. How am I feeling today? Well pretty good so far. Just woke up, might be going to the movies later tonight. I'm hungry as hell though
Keenly Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Well.... I just opened my eyes for the day... But I'd imagine I'm going to feel the same as yesterday . Just really really angry. Angry at myself and angry at the world. Every time.I ser the more attractive women that I work with I wonder if ill ever find such a gorgeous girl that's into me. And then I think of how there is always this moment with every.serious relationship I have had. A moment where I look at her and she looks me right in the eyes, and I can tell in that moment , no words required, that she is completely in love with me. Then I think about how none of these beautiful women will look st me.that way so I get very.inwardly angry, certainly not outwardly expressing it, but I am mostly mad at myself for my inability to attract a woman that I'd do anything to have.
cavalier99 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Well at least the focus doesn't seem to be on your EX. .. Don't worry about women. Worry about being happy single and eventually something will come up. You wont attract anything with negative energy and if you place too much importance on meeting someone.
Keenly Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I can't help it man. It's hard to explain its not a constant negative. When I see these VERY beautiful women on an hourly basis I get really strong butterflies. I flirt with them, talk to them about random stuff. When they walk away and I realize I am a fool for ever believing I could be so lucky the butterflies quickly turn into a fiery boiling frustration about how no matter how much love I have to give , how funny I can be, and how romantic I enjoy being, I doubt ill ever be that lucky.
cavalier99 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Meh. F*k women for now. If there not interested who cares? No skin off our backs. Sounds like you need to work some on you self esteem and an attitude of non chalance. I think your just a little bitter still at after being shafted by you ex. We all are..but don't take it out on these girls you see. They can sense it even if you think you are masking it.
arrowfoot Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Today sucks. Another day of lost hope of us ever being together. I know that everyday that goes by, the memory of us in his mind is fading. I let my dog sleep on the clothes he has left at my house last night. It's the only act of revenge I could bring myself to do. (my dog tracks in dirt and leaves from the yard.) Well, I also ripped up all of his shirts...except for one. *sigh* I feel so weak for not being able to destroy this one shirt. This shirt was the one he was wearing when he gave me the kiss that made me realize he was something special. He grabbed me very tightly and close to him with one arm around my waist, almost lifting me off my feet, and kissed me something fierce. At that moment I knew, that despite how shy he was, he wasn't too shy to show me he how he felt. That sealed the deal. So yeah, how do I feel? Quite lousy. But, it seems as if certain times of the day I feel worse than others. The mornings usually suck, the afternoons--when I have a break between classes--require a lot of self-control to not contact him. BUT when I get home from a full day...I always feel so hopeful. As if things will get better if I continue to take care of myself and work towards my goals. He'll be sorry he left when he sees me in 6 months!!
NoMoreJerks Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 (edited) Feeling pretty good today. Enegized and motivated to get my work done! Getting a mssg from my ex yesterday massaged my ego a bit (not gonna reply though). I woke up earlier than usual today, cleared my desk of all the stuff I had put on it when I packed my apartment for bed bug treatment/spraying, cleaned the desk, put my books back onto it, re-arranged the layout of items/books on my desk, and now have a good/decent working space at home, so I can get my work done from the comfort of my own home, instead of having to go to my office at school, which I share with 2 other people... I can also rest when I feel like it, take power naps, eat, get chocolate from the store downstairs when I feel like it, etc. So I'm happy and just started work on something I had been procrastinating on. Yay! I also had no set hours for work, and used to do work in the evenings at times, but now I am trying to get my stuff done during the day, and then take the evening off , watching Coronation Street, and other movies/shows, etc. I like having a structure to my day, and have certain hours where I can put away all my work for the rest of the day and relax without having to worry about getting back to work that day. It helps me recharge my batteries for the next day. Edited January 15, 2013 by NoMoreJerks
brokengirl3 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 i think every day i miss him more and more!
LostOne1 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Horrible today barley got out of bed. Shes back and stuck in my mind again... wish I could get her out like I did before. maybe I need to write more in my notebook to let it out. I think that seems to help. I guess seeing her after so long I thought she would have some feelings come back. That she would contact me or atleast approach me to say even a simple Hi. But I guess she is too good for that.
BUBS Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I can't stop dreaming about him, they are always bad, always relating to him somehow abandoning me when I need him most, canceling our wedding last minute, being unfaithful, the works. Mornings are always the worst, because of the dreams and when it sinks in again he isnt and will never be there again. I miss the comfort, I miss the love we used to have... it was a nice reason and purpose to get through the days that would otherwise be stagnant. 3 months today since the official break up, 4 months since things started falling apart. I miss being able to listen to music without feeling crippled. I'm praying I wake up soon and can dropkick him off the pedestal I have him on. I keep trying. I used to be strong, and very much proud of the things that made me so far from the normal girl... now they make me insecure, I want to simplify myself... make myself less exhausting, less deep, less complicated... as I keep feeling like eventually they all will leave me in search of some vanilla plain jane that smiles with a soft voice and doesn't burn the cupcakes.
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