Eternal Sunshine Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I just joined..I used it few years back, met one guy that seemed like psycho-stalker...took a while to get rid of him and I deactivated my profile. Back then, my personality profile was really off, didn't sound like me at all. This time around, my personality profile seems spot on. This guy that is "too good to be true" contacted me. Very attractive, pharmacist, witty, sarcastic...I am wondering what's the catch. Also since I am not looking for anything too serious, is this a wrong site to be on? I just want some fun and romance with someone I would enjoy spending time with; no commitment.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Maybe the catch is he shts the bed. Would you be ok with that !?! Sleep in separate beds? 1
MrCastle Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 The catch is he's not me. Anywho, I believe E-harmony is more so for people looking to settle down, I could be wrong. I think what you and I are looking for is more along the lines of Adult Friend Finder.
Lani Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 The catch is probably that he's not ready to settle down. Or is a midget. My experience with online dating is that majority of the guys claim to want something more than they actually do. So, it seems to me that you're in the right place!
SJC2008 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 You have a FWB but are doing OLD and don't want commitment? Why are you wasting money on e-harmony and time in the other sites when you have what you want? 1
ascendotum Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 The catch is probably that he's not ready to settle down. Or is a midget. My experience with online dating is that majority of the guys claim to want something more than they actually do. So, it seems to me that you're in the right place! haha. yeah what I reckon too. EH is definitely for relationship minded people, but I don't think most guys there will get pissed with the bait & switch routine for what you want ES. Some will say 'no thanks why are you here', but many will say 'ah....okay then, I can go with that'.
Loved77 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 (edited) Also since I am not looking for anything too serious, is this a wrong site to be on? I just want some fun and romance with someone I would enjoy spending time with; no commitment. This is exactly the attitude I had when I started online dating after I got over my marriage breakup. I didnt lie about what I was looking for, was quite honest about it. Most women declined my offer as they were looking for something more serious but I found a few regulars who were ok with it. THEN I met one women (Girl A) for a coffee date & BAM I fell for her on the spot & dropped everything for her. If it wasn't love it was pretty damn close to it. She worked out of town & we tried to do the long distance thing but it was to hard & I just couldn't see it working out long term so I called it off because of circumstance. So I met someone new (Girl B) to try & get me over her & I virtually feel for her on the spot too , we got on really well & I knew she was really into me & I did like her but I couldn't get over Girl A. My mind was racing overtime as what was intended to be a friends with benefits thing turned into a really stressful thing as I got emotionally involved with two women & subsequently broke up with both of them as I didn't know what I wanted. I really hurt Girl B as I originally told her I was over Girl A which I though at the time I was but she worked out I wasnt & broke it off with me. So 4/5 months of intense/quality sex, nice restaurants, good conversation & good times has all ended in Heartbreak & a severe head*** with me sitting at home by myself for the past few weekends (probably the next 3 months) trying to sort my head out & having to join an online forum to try & recover. Yes there are lots of options but Online dating has really left a weird taste in my mouth & I can't see myself doing it again. Be careful what you wish for Edited January 15, 2013 by Loved77
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 You have a FWB but are doing OLD and don't want commitment? Why are you wasting money on e-harmony and time in the other sites when you have what you want? I had 2 FWBs, neither worked out. I really liked one but he completely humiliated me (long story, don't ask) so it ended. The other one got attached, wanted a relationship and I started feeling guilty - plus my attraction for him fizzled out. So it ended. Not seeing anyone right now.
soccerrprp Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I recently reactivated my EH account. I've met some really nice ladies from it and they tend to be more serious about finding a LTR. So am I. Yes, if you're not really interested in finding someone serious, then you probably shouldn't be using it or add that in your profile somewhere. Like everything else, anyone can put anything they like online. Even face to face, people can BS you. Do a little online vetting, meet in a safe place, and then decide from there. EH is imperfect and it becomes clear that whatever algorithm it's using often appears random and not formulated at all. I did meet my current gf with it. My most serious relationships have come from it. Good luck.
Leigh 87 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I had 2 FWBs, neither worked out. I really liked one but he completely humiliated me (long story, don't ask) so it ended. The other one got attached, wanted a relationship and I started feeling guilty - plus my attraction for him fizzled out. So it ended. Not seeing anyone right now. Now I definately have to ask! How did he humliate you? SORRY. I just had to ask. You made me want to know now.
mitchell Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Aren't most of the folks on that site looking for a relationship? It almost doesn't seem right if that's not what you are looking for.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Aren't most of the folks on that site looking for a relationship? It almost doesn't seem right if that's not what you are looking for. I payed $60 for a month. Does that make it OK? Anyway, the guy in OP post is also a bodybuilder, owns two businesses on the side and has played a piano for 19 years. Da.faq I got another contact and the other guy is also insanely good looking and is a vet that volunteers at a homeless shelter? On OKC, I was lucky to meet a guy that's employed and doesn't live with his parents.
Woggle Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Why are you paying 60 bucks for a relationship site when you don't want one? Wouldn't it be better to use a casual encounter site? 3
carhill Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Also since I am not looking for anything too serious, is this a wrong site to be on? Since dating sites have no way of controlling intentions, like yourself, it's probable that men not looking for LTR's populate EH as well, even if it presents itself as a 'relationship' site. Up to you. It's your money. The price of admission and the 'process' the site uses probably weeds out some 'drive-by' prospects but that could work against you, if your focus is something more casual. IMO, buy a couple months, make some contacts and see how it goes, in addition to being open to real life encounters, since you live in a vibrant metro area. Lots of possibilities.
StanMusial Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I apologize OP I was trying to keep it short and to the point. If you are not looking for a relationship then you should consider other alternatives to meeting folks other than eHarmony. You may not be compatible with the guys you meet on there due to a number of factors.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 When I get ready to date again, I think I'm gonna try eHarmony - so I'm glad you started this thread.
Lonely Ronin Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I payed $60 for a month. Does that make it OK? No, it doesn't matter how much you spend, it's not OK.
Bristolius Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Does anyone really want this guy involved in their love life? 2
FitChick Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 This is exactly the attitude I had when I started online dating after I got over my marriage breakup. Except you really weren't over your divorce because you were still confused and didn't know what you wanted. That is why I don't date men who've been divorced less than two years, no matter what they tell me.
Drseussgrrl Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 The problem with these guys online is that they can look perfect on paper, but sit across from them at dinner and sh*t just all falls apart. The very cute army doctor I went out with a few times had actually nicknamed his biceps "Thunder" and "Lightening". I also learned that at 37 years old his sister handles all of his money. Can't make this stuff up. His apartment also smelled like cat pee. 5
sabre80 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Why is everyone bagging on ES for not looking for anything serious? For all we know she may have it clearly stated in her profile she is not looking for anything serious. E-Harm is kind of a dumb choice though Sunshine. I hated it. Was on it for 3 months and the selective matching really irked me. Kept matching me with people from TX and I am in AZ. Could not browse profiles and after going through their stupid guided communication with various women for 3 months did not even turn one meet up. I really liked Match though. Not as expensive as E-harm but women seemed more serious than OK cupid. Cupid was fun too if you go in to it with no expectations and a thick skin.
Woggle Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Why is everyone bagging on ES for not looking for anything serious? For all we know she may have it clearly stated in her profile she is not looking for anything serious. E-Harm is kind of a dumb choice though Sunshine. I hated it. Was on it for 3 months and the selective matching really irked me. Kept matching me with people from TX and I am in AZ. Could not browse profiles and after going through their stupid guided communication with various women for 3 months did not even turn one meet up. I really liked Match though. Not as expensive as E-harm but women seemed more serious than OK cupid. Cupid was fun too if you go in to it with no expectations and a thick skin. Nothing wrong with that but it doesn't make sense to go to a mexican restaurant when you want chinese. 3
Lonely Ronin Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Nothing wrong with that but it doesn't make sense to go to a mexican restaurant when you want chinese. This... ^^
sabre80 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Nothing wrong with that but it doesn't make sense to go to a mexican restaurant when you want chinese. She needs to go to chino bandito. Its a fusion resteraunt that has both. I hate chinese food. But man chino bandito gets me salivating every time.
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