skylark100 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 When a woman is single and over 30, the majority of the time society labels her as a woman who puts her carreer and education ahead of relationships. It might be true, I really don't know. Now it's completely unfair to stereotype all woman over 30, BUT, I am starting to think it might have more to do with their personalities. 3 times now, I have met women who are in their 30s and older than me, and each time, the same underlying theme comes up. Way too in your face and over the top. They are perfectly attractive and confident, but wow, I just let them talk and talk and it becomes pretty clear that if you don't make the grade they will rip your heart out and shove it up your 'a**. I always thought that dating an older woman would be good for me. Now, I'm really turned off by the idea. Anyone else have simillar experiences?
TheZebra Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Way too in your face and over the top. They are perfectly attractive and confident, but wow, I just let them talk and talk and it becomes pretty clear that if you don't make the grade they will rip your heart out and shove it up your 'a**. I bet this has to do with the fact that they have to be that way in their careers to succeed. You have no idea how many times in my 1.5 years out of college I've heard bosses and mentors tell me that I need to be 'more assertive' with people. And when you're like that 50-70 hours a week, I guess it becomes your personality after a while.
TaurusTerp Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 When a woman is single and over 30, the majority of the time society labels her as a woman who puts her carreer and education ahead of relationships. It might be true, I really don't know. Now it's completely unfair to stereotype all woman over 30, BUT, I am starting to think it might have more to do with their personalities. 3 times now, I have met women who are in their 30s and older than me, and each time, the same underlying theme comes up. Way too in your face and over the top. They are perfectly attractive and confident, but wow, I just let them talk and talk and it becomes pretty clear that if you don't make the grade they will rip your heart out and shove it up your 'a**. I always thought that dating an older woman would be good for me. Now, I'm really turned off by the idea. Anyone else have simillar experiences? You once thought you wanted a strong woman, now you know you don't. That's about it. I dig the bitchy type A girls. 2
c57dood Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 When a woman is single and over 30, the majority of the time society labels her as a woman who puts her carreer and education ahead of relationships. It might be true, I really don't know. Now it's completely unfair to stereotype all woman over 30, BUT, I am starting to think it might have more to do with their personalities. 3 times now, I have met women who are in their 30s and older than me, and each time, the same underlying theme comes up. Way too in your face and over the top. They are perfectly attractive and confident, but wow, I just let them talk and talk and it becomes pretty clear that if you don't make the grade they will rip your heart out and shove it up your 'a**. I always thought that dating an older woman would be good for me. Now, I'm really turned off by the idea. Anyone else have simillar experiences? It has nothing to do with being over 30. Looks more like you simply met women who possess a certain personality trait that you do not connect with. Age has nothing to do with it. I know plenty of single over 30 women and they're not the way you describe at all. Anyway, if these women were like this in their 30's, I'm willing to bet that they were like that in their 20's as well. You just have to meet more women and find the one who you connect with. 7
imfine Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 We grow wiser with age. Women have learned we don't have to change or lower our expectations. So if you don't measure up, bub-bye. What's wrong with that? Do men find women intimidating that refuse to settle? 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Lots of women have realized that getting married and having kids is not be all and end all in life. Men are banking on women getting more desperate as they age and them scoring women that are normally "out of their league". But some women are lacking the "OMG time is running out" gene. They know what they want and they are perfectly fine with being alone if they don't get it. Simply put, women that prioritize getting married: DO. They subconsciously lower their standards until they find a match, regardless of age. I also don't buy that anyone has "too many issues" to be in a relationship. People with all kinds of mental illnesses and personality disorders have LTRs/get married all the time. There is always someone that is willing to accept it all. 8
somedude81 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 If a woman really is single and over 30 it does leave a big question mark as to why because dating is stupid simple for women. She either is actively doing something to turn men off, or no men are good enough for her, or her work comes first. It could also be a combination. 1
EasyHeart Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Now it's completely unfair to stereotype all woman over 30, BUT, I am starting to think it might have more to do with their personalities. 3 times now, I have met women who are in their 30s and older than me, and each time, the same underlying theme comes up. Way too in your face and over the top. They are perfectly attractive and confident, but wow, I just let them talk and talk and it becomes pretty clear that if you don't make the grade they will rip your heart out and shove it up your 'a**. I think you're reversing the causality. Women aren't "Way too in your face and over the top" because they are single and over 30, they are still single when they are over 30 because they are way too in your face and over the top. 2
Taramere Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Lots of women have realized that getting married and having kids is not be all and end all in life. Men are banking on women getting more desperate as they age and them scoring women that are normally "out of their league". But some women are lacking the "OMG time is running out" gene. They know what they want and they are perfectly fine with being alone if they don't get it. It seems that when a lonely person can't tempt others into their life with positives, they resort to threats along the lines of "people will think there's something wrong with you if you're on your own....the future will be bleak for you" etc. I'd rather have nothing than try to make a life with a man I didn't love. Life partnerships are difficult enough for people who start out having a deep connection, let alone for those who marry for no reason other than that they think it's better than being alone. 2
walfootrot2 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I like woman who know what they want and are strong and focused. It is a great counter to my wishy washiness. I prefer woman in their thirties. 1
Anela Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 If a woman really is single and over 30 it does leave a big question mark as to why because dating is stupid simple for women. She either is actively doing something to turn men off, or no men are good enough for her, or her work comes first. It could also be a combination. Or they just aren't meeting good matches. Others could have spent their twenties in one, or several, relationships, and decided to be alone for a while - or men they're running into are making assumptions about their single status, rather than getting to know the woman. 1
youdunsay Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 The same applies to men who won't settle until they are 50 isn't it?
M30USA Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Age doesn't matter. There are lots of circumstances that come into play here. But the highest priority in a woman should be to do the will of God. If anything (even good things) like work, husband, or EVEN FAMILY takes a higher placd than God, then you are guaranteed to find trouble. Bank on it. God's ways cannot be evaded. He made the world and we are subject to his rules. Don't have idols. Keep him first.
Author skylark100 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Age doesn't matter. There are lots of circumstances that come into play here. But the highest priority in a woman should be to do the will of God. If anything (even good things) like work, husband, or EVEN FAMILY takes a higher placd than God, then you are guaranteed to find trouble. Bank on it. God's ways cannot be evaded. He made the world and we are subject to his rules. Don't have idols. Keep him first. That was just weird. 1
Sith Apprentice Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Most are fuglies or wasted their 20's pursuing players/hold outs for top tier guys.
edgygirl Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 (edited) Most are fuglies or wasted their 20's pursuing players/hold outs for top tier guys. Lol not sure what planet you live in. All my 30something single gfs are beautiful, successful, interesting and intelligent. I think it bothers a lot of men that they are not "needed" as women can support themselves and are not desperate as before 1940. Deal with it. Most women this age also are not interested in men who can't deal with the fact that they're strong and successful, and would prefer a submissive type who only cooks and who shuts up and agrees to everything a guy says. IMO, if you can't deal with an "aggressive" woman, (I would call it accomplished and assertive), look for a passive one. Very simple... No need to be with someone who's not your type! Edited January 17, 2013 by edgygirl 2
somedude81 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Lol not sure what planet you live in. All my 30something single gfs are beautiful, successful, interesting and intelligent. I think it bothers a lot of men that they are not "needed" as women can support themselves and are not desperate as before 1940. Deal with it. Most women this age also are not interested in men who can't deal with the fact that they're strong and successful, and would prefer a submissive type who only cooks and who shuts up and agrees to everything a guy says. IMO, if you can't deal with an "aggressive" woman, (I would call it accomplished and assertive), look for a passive one. Very simple... No need to be with someone who's not your type! Why are your friends single?
Negative Nancy Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 If a woman really is single and over 30 it does leave a big question mark as to why because dating is stupid simple for women. She either is actively doing something to turn men off, or no men are good enough for her, or her work comes first. It could also be a combination. Does this apply to men over 30 (not looking at anyone here, Mr-born-in-1981) too?
somedude81 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Does this apply to men over 30 (not looking at anyone here, Mr-born-in-1981) too? Not at all, because dating is much harder for a man than it is for a woman. That's why I said dating for women is stupid simple. The only reason for a woman to be single past 30 is because of the choices she made. Essentially she's said "no" to a lot of men or she has chosen not to make herself available to date.
edgygirl Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Why are your friends single? I live in a big metropolis where successful people come to prove themselves and try to do great things in the world. People don't even question why a woman over 30 is single (like you're doing) around here. It's the new normal for successful women. I would say this type of women start to think about looking for the one around age 32, which complicates things as you're out of college and the only way to meet people is usually through OLD... Where all the creeps, losers and players reside
somedude81 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I live in a big metropolis where successful people come to prove themselves and try to do great things in the world. People don't even question why a woman over 30 is single (like you're doing) around here. It's the new normal for successful women. I would say this type of women start to think about looking for the one around age 32, which complicates things as you're out of college and the only way to meet people is usually through OLD... Where all the creeps, losers and players reside LOL, 32 isn't that much older than 30. So are they expecting to get married at 32 and have a kid at 33? It really does seem that they are just making things hard on themselves. And of course it's all their choice.
edgygirl Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 LOL, 32 isn't that much older than 30. So are they expecting to get married at 32 and have a kid at 33? It really does seem that they are just making things hard on themselves. And of course it's all their choice. As someone said... If a woman WANTS to get married in her 20s, she will. If she didn't it doesn't mean she is ugly or crazy or only thinks about her career. Maybe in some cities in the US. Certainly not in mine. It usually means they wanted to do other things before getting married. I did. No they don't want to start procreating tomorrow. They want to find someone who is worth to be the father of their children when the time is right, whenever it is. Why 32ish? Not sure, it's a pattern I see amongst professional urban women like me. Around 32-34. It's enough time that most got somewhere in their career and start to get tired with serial dating or LT-serial dating, or the bar scene. They work hard and they just want to get home to someone who is cool as they are. The problem is finding a guy who is worth it (and not a loser) in that age... as guys still feel they have more time to settle down. And then these guys hit 40 and are lost cause they can't relate emotionally to younger women as they would like to, but they might feel 40 yo women might have issues having children. So... Sucks for everyone IMO.
Els Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I find it funny how people are assuming that someone who is single in their 30s must have been single their entire life before it, based on the replies here. Most women I know who are single in their 30s have had relationships, except they didn't work out. Making a relationship work often takes trial and error, time and experience, to get to know yourself and what you want in a partner, and to acquire the skills needed for conflict resolution and compromise in a relationship. This is true for both men and women. Jumping into a marriage with just about anyone to avoid this stigma does no one any good. It certainly isn't a guarantee that one won't end up single later, because it's practically inviting the likelihood of a divorce down the road. Surveys have noted that marriages that begin in their 30s or later have higher odds of success, because the people involved are more self-aware and experienced. It's incredibly amusing that some of the most vitriolic posts towards women who are single and above 30, come from men who are single and above 30. That's some pretty blatant hypocrisy right there. 5
Eclypse Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Nothing wrong with being single at any age if you are happy that way. But if you are miserable being single and can't change it, then you will need to do some soul searching and find out why you can't attract a mate. 1
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