stevie_23 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Does anyone ever wonder / hope just a little that maybe their ex is on this very forum? Do you ever hope to read a post that sounds startlingly familiar, and it says how sad and regretful they are that they broke up with you? Lol. Sometimes I have little sparks of interest, although I do know my ex would never post on here. He is the silent type and doesn’t discuss things of a personal nature in public like this.
ScienceGal Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Does anyone ever wonder / hope just a little that maybe their ex is on this very forum? Do you ever hope to read a post that sounds startlingly familiar, and it says how sad and regretful they are that they broke up with you? Lol. Sometimes I have little sparks of interest, although I do know my ex would never post on here. He is the silent type and doesn’t discuss things of a personal nature in public like this. My ex knows I'm on here because he saw it on my computer and never told me. I found out in October when I saw the site on his phone. I'm not sure how long he had known, but I decided (after getting mad and feeling my privacy had been invaded) that I didn't care. I had posted a few things about him, but I didn't post much. And, he said he didn't have a problem with anything he read. He just wanted to know what I was thinking. I don't think he would post, but who knows. And, I don't think he still reads, but I don't care. This is an outlet for me, and I'm not giving it up.
Quest4_TheLost Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 When going through my divorce I use to look through post hoping maybe he was here. I was with someone for a yr and a half he knew I posted here and I got this feeling he had been snooping through my posts. Somthing I generally didn't think he would do. So I tested the waters by saing I was moving to a new state that I had met someone and had a great job offer. Well he bit it and called me the very next day chatted a bit before asking me if I had somthing to tell him. I said no and left it at that. Then I made this profile and rantred about it a bit. I felt like someone had stolen my diary my,deepest thoughts and in the long run used them against me. It also kind of creeped me out because he had been doing a few other creepy stalkerish things. He never had to talk to me because he always knew how I felt. I could just imagine him laughing at my feelings.. It sucked..
na49 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 My ex definitely doesn't know I come here because I came here after she dumped me. I'd love for her to find out and see how much I've been hurting though.
cavalier99 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 (edited) My ex definitely doesn't know I come here because I came here after she dumped me. I'd love for her to find out and see how much I've been hurting though. Why would you want her to know how much your hurting? She wont pity you and it would just give her an ego boost and make her decision seem even more justified. Part of NC is so we don't show them any weakness. Very unattractive in general to appear weak. Id only want my ex to see strength, happiness, and indifference to her wiles if i ever see her again. Edited January 15, 2013 by cavalier99 2
LostOne1 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Im guessing my ex knows nothing about my posts here and I hope she doesn't see them. I see no point anyways. I'd feel more crappy if she saw my stuff here and saw how low I have fallen without her.
fancy feast Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Sometimes I wonder about what would happen if my most recent ex-girlfriend were to find me on the Internet and confront me in some way. I would have a goddamn field day with that. Bane Let the games begin - YouTube
Author stevie_23 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 I would only have that slight hope to find my ex here so I’d be able to read that he was sad and missing me and wanted to be with me again but didn’t know how to be, etc. Because he didn’t really give me much of an explanation when he left me and it was so sudden and final, I would feel better to just know how he felt, in great detail, even if it still meant there was no hope of a reconciliation. I have no desire for him to be on here to see what I’VE been writing (not that I’d mind that much if he did read any of it), or to see how upset I’ve been or whatever. That brings me no satisfaction at all.
MyAngel Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Yes I do wonder that sometimes. But I doubt she knows of this forum or would seek advice from a forum about us. My user name is quite generic and not linked to anything I've ever used before. I am just another face in a sea of miserable dumped faces.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 WHOOO I'm not alone!!! haha but times I HOPE he would come on here. Then he can read how hurt people are!!!!but he wouldn't. He wouldn't talk or try to do anything. If he feels anything he would suppress it. Otherwise he just games or goes out.
Author stevie_23 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Yeah, my ex suppresses it too. Tries to live his life. Move on. Goes running. Goes to work. Cooks dinner and cleans up after his wife and her 3 kids he can’t stand. Plays his guitar.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 As much as that would be fun, cause she would see how she truly is, in the eyes of the LS members that know my story, and saw it, that would be fun. Cause she is the type who, though she lacks the emotion to care, she would still feel hurt by it. That is, I guess selfish of me. After all, when my older brother told her, that she was "a dime a dozen", she freaked out forever. I cannot imagine her seeing people call her a "bitch." She would die, lol. Wouldn't solve anything. My ex wouldn't care. She would only post about her issues, and LS will ofc help her...I don't know how I would react, mad? Fact is, she wouldn't care, just like she wouldn't care if I blew my brains out, lol.
Author stevie_23 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 One of the lines of a song I wrote back in June when my ex left me for a month, before coming back, went “You’re the only one who doesn’t care that I’m alive”. So yeah…to think that someone who once loved you wouldn’t even care if you “blew your brains out”, it wrecks the heart and soul a bit, doesn’t it? And the thing is…I was trying to think of some way to provide comfort. To say that no, they WOULD care. Cause obviously they don’t ideally want you to be hurting or for you not to be around anymore. But the case also is…would you expect a stranger or casual friend or acquaintance to care a lot if you died? Not really. And unfortunately, once feelings change and relationships end…the care factor does go way down. They DO care to an extent because of what’s passed between you, but they CAN’T care the way you still do. 2
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 One of the lines of a song I wrote back in June when my ex left me for a month, before coming back, went “You’re the only one who doesn’t care that I’m alive”. So yeah…to think that someone who once loved you wouldn’t even care if you “blew your brains out”, it wrecks the heart and soul a bit, doesn’t it? And the thing is…I was trying to think of some way to provide comfort. To say that no, they WOULD care. Cause obviously they don’t ideally want you to be hurting or for you not to be around anymore. But the case also is…would you expect a stranger or casual friend or acquaintance to care a lot if you died? Not really. And unfortunately, once feelings change and relationships end…the care factor does go way down. They DO care to an extent because of what’s passed between you, but they CAN’T care the way you still do. I absolutely agree with you; I shouldn't share this, but one night, when me and my ex where having major issues. She and I where talking over the phone, actually, and I threatened to blow my brains out, it is stupid. I see that now, and I never planned to really then... Lol, nothing like her, "Hurry up, we are talking too long." Or, oh, her telling me, "I am engaged to another guy." All in the same wonderful night. That was a real eye opener, yeah, love man! After that, something snapped, and I didn't really care anymore...I was done. Though that wasn't the end of it, this was me at my lowest, so ofc, I took her back when she came back. Unfortunately, I had the pleasure of finding her private profiles, lol, and all that good stuff...Nothing like it when they email you a picture of their fb, and have it circled, and an arrow drawn to the words "I love {blank}" Then lie and say someone hacked them. Actually, I am glad she isn't on LS, I would be banned..lol
Author stevie_23 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Lol. Wow. She treated you really well, didn’t she? I’m sorry about that. It’s such a shame the people who are treated poorly in a relationship tend to feel like THEY are the ones who are not worthwhile or valuable or loveable human beings, because of how their supposed love one has treated them. And yet it is the other person who should feel bad, because THEY are the ones who betrayed their partner, hurt them, were dishonest, and too lazy or cowardly to deal with their feelings directly, but rather, instead go back to the familiarity and comfort of who they know, even if they’re not “feeling it” and in the meantime also have some “excitement” with someone else. Cowards. The person who is treated badly in this way has done nothing wrong and yet feels worthless. How annoying is that?? All they did was love. 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 It was heart-breaking. Probably changed me from a much wiser person, to a much more meaner person. It changes everyone. No, they get the comfort of easily(usually), moving on. I realized it in time. It was stupid of me to want that, or say that. Fact is, she, nor any of them would care, really, if we were dead or alive. They may show an outward appearence of it, but the inner-world is staunched and uncaring. I tried though, she wasn't always the devil, now she is. Sara means Princess, but, to me it means Devil. We all live and learn I guess? It isn't worth dying over. No girl nor guy is. It isn't worth giving up, why they smile and dance on with life. It isn't worth feeling low, when they feel soo mighty. Revenge? Worthless. Hope? Worthless. Wonder? Worthless. ...No, we should be the ones dancing, and hopful, and truly cheerful. They will continue to dance to their wicked tune, will end up in misery. Even if they do not? So-what? Not every bad deed is punished, and if they escape, we too can escape...And dance to a better tune, with a worthy dancer. So, we shouldn't wonder if they will look us up; we should forever be glad, that their Angel of Death has passed us by, and we lived, and can find a better angel.. 1
Author stevie_23 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Good. And yes, you WILL find a better person to be with. Not everyone is morally lacking. The fact is, even if she doesn’t know it, she will be living with herself, her choices, her thoughts, the consequences (if any) of her actions for the rest of her life, whatever they may be. 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Good. And yes, you WILL find a better person to be with. Not everyone is morally lacking. The fact is, even if she doesn’t know it, she will be living with herself, her choices, her thoughts, the consequences (if any) of her actions for the rest of her life, whatever they may be. I actually hope so. Some form of justice is better than none...I know everyone wants that. I know Na has been struggling with what happened to him. I...hope he meditates on your words too, they seem very wise. Caring, this is why I came to LS. Strangers give better help than family and friends, this I learned. Well said, Stevie.
Author stevie_23 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Thank you! I came here for support and wise words as well. I am only now just beginning to be able to pull myself out of this horrible black hole. And a lot of that is being on here, and being able to be around supportive, non-judgmental person who have been through what I’m going through…I didn’t feel alone anymore. And it also helped me a LOT to be able to try and support others too.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Thank you! I came here for support and wise words as well. I am only now just beginning to be able to pull myself out of this horrible black hole. And a lot of that is being on here, and being able to be around supportive, non-judgmental person who have been through what I’m going through…I didn’t feel alone anymore. And it also helped me a LOT to be able to try and support others too. Well, I hope you continue on your path to healing. And you are indeed good and probably getting better at helping people; keep it up. Nothing more saiting than helping others in need.
Author stevie_23 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Since I was about 25 I’ve wanted to be an online counsellor actually, heheh. That’s my dream career. Except unfortunately you can’t do this sort of job unless you’re a “real life” registered psychologist, which I am not. I DO have the undergrad degree in psychology, but I can’t afford to go back to school now to finish it. Blegh. So I come here and offer my pearls of wisdom. lol 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Since I was about 25 I’ve wanted to be an online counsellor actually, heheh. That’s my dream career. Except unfortunately you can’t do this sort of job unless you’re a “real life” registered psychologist, which I am not. I DO have the undergrad degree in psychology, but I can’t afford to go back to school now to finish it. Blegh. So I come here and offer my pearls of wisdom. lol Well, keep at it. In a way you are a counsellor. well I better be off to bed. Gnight, and gnight ls.
Author stevie_23 Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 G’night. Hope you sleep well.
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I dont think my ex knows I go on here and I don't think she would post on here either. To be honest, I rather it be that way. Call me selfish but this is my outlet and I dont want her on here. I dont want her to know what my thoughts are or how shes affected me. Its none of her business as this is part of why I went NC. If I were to find out that she was on here for whatever reason...I'd probably run for the hills. This forum is my sanctuary and I really rather not have her take that away from me if thats at all possible.
thembones Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Maybe in the back of my mind, I hope to see something in the second chances forum about her wanting me back. Not necessarily because I want her, but to know that she is the one wanting me. Yes, I've thought about but it'll never happen. She has too many know it all friends (bitches) to tell her everything that was wrong.
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