honey77 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Hey, so I met this totally awesome guy at a mutual friends new years party and we instantly hit it off - our girlfriend had always said we'd be great together and wow was she so right. Usually I'm so uncomfortable meeting someone when this has been said but this time the minute I saw him I was smitten and then when we were chatting I felt like I knew him since kindergarten. The problem is he does have a partner and a kid (I have been told that the relationship is nearing an end but who am I to judge) That night he told me he wanted nothing more than to go home with me and he was so confused and wishes he could change his situation - before ye judge NOTHING happened between us but we did spend the whole night chatting and laughing until 3am when the new year was well and truly here. The next few days I couldn't stop thinking bout him :love:and how this great guy I was so comfortable with was totally gone from me and I was so so sad. Last night i got msn request from him - I have just accepted it and am wondering if I should pm him - we live in different states so it's not like i'm gonna ever bump into him so should i take a chance? Thanks guys - really need some advice cos haven't been able to talk to anyone about it cos I feel a little ashamed........
thomasb Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Not unless you wish an awful lot of pain and angst on not only yourself but an innocent woman and their child as well.
jwi71 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Hey, so I met this totally awesome guy at a mutual friends new years party and we instantly hit it off - our girlfriend had always said we'd be great together and wow was she so right. Usually I'm so uncomfortable meeting someone when this has been said but this time the minute I saw him I was smitten and then when we were chatting I felt like I knew him since kindergarten. The problem is he does have a partner and a kid (I have been told that the relationship is nearing an end but who am I to judge) That night he told me he wanted nothing more than to go home with me and he was so confused and wishes he could change his situation - before ye judge NOTHING happened between us but we did spend the whole night chatting and laughing until 3am when the new year was well and truly here. The next few days I couldn't stop thinking bout him :love:and how this great guy I was so comfortable with was totally gone from me and I was so so sad. Last night i got msn request from him - I have just accepted it and am wondering if I should pm him - we live in different states so it's not like i'm gonna ever bump into him so should i take a chance? Thanks guys - really need some advice cos haven't been able to talk to anyone about it cos I feel a little ashamed........ What do you have to be ashamed about? I would take that very same info to your friends and family. You didn't, I suspect, because you already know what will be said "stay away for now". Which is precisely my advice to you. Stay away until he leaves and established a new life for himself.
whichwayisup Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 we live in different states so it's not like i'm gonna ever bump into him so should i take a chance? NO. Why would you knowingly go after a guy whom you know is having a R with someone else and they have a child together? The guy is SCUM, far from 'perfect' btw, for making it seem like he's available when he's not. IF his R ends and you have proof of it, THEN date him. Until then, stay away from him. You barely know him, haven't invested much in him so it shouldn't be hard to walk away. I really hope you don't try to get with him. Just isn't right..Even if you do have some feelings, he is in no position to be offering himself up to you. Thanks guys - really need some advice cos haven't been able to talk to anyone about it cos I feel a little ashamed........ All the more reason to walk away. You know it's wrong. Don't go against your morals.
ComplicatedFortunes Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I'm in a similar situation, and if I could do it again, I'd avoid getting into a relationship with someone who's taken. There's too much feelings involved, and the chances they are going to leave the ones their with for us is very slim, it's truly not worth the effort. I think you're human, so I have a feeling you might be tempted to try it anyway. I'd go with a suggestion one poster gave above, and that's to tell him you aren't interested as long as he's in a relationship. It'll save you a head and heart ache.
MissBee Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Hey, so I met this totally awesome guy at a mutual friends new years party and we instantly hit it off - our girlfriend had always said we'd be great together and wow was she so right. Usually I'm so uncomfortable meeting someone when this has been said but this time the minute I saw him I was smitten and then when we were chatting I felt like I knew him since kindergarten. The problem is he does have a partner and a kid (I have been told that the relationship is nearing an end but who am I to judge) That night he told me he wanted nothing more than to go home with me and he was so confused and wishes he could change his situation - before ye judge NOTHING happened between us but we did spend the whole night chatting and laughing until 3am when the new year was well and truly here. The next few days I couldn't stop thinking bout him :love:and how this great guy I was so comfortable with was totally gone from me and I was so so sad. Last night i got msn request from him - I have just accepted it and am wondering if I should pm him - we live in different states so it's not like i'm gonna ever bump into him so should i take a chance? Thanks guys - really need some advice cos haven't been able to talk to anyone about it cos I feel a little ashamed........ If the relationship is nearing the end....then you can ask him about that. Be honest that you like him and ask about his relationship status and see what he says about it. If he feels about you as you do him...then if his relationship is "nearing the end" anyway, then he'll have even more reason to speed it up to be with this person he feels so attracted to who feels the same. Don't ignore the elephant in the room though. Although, chances are, if he himself says nothing about his current situation, that's a red flag. Put it on the table in the beginning and see what happens. I had the experience of getting into a situation where his relationship status was never clarified until way after I was already in love...that was a terrible idea.
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