Jcut22 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) My wife and I separated in early July. During that time we had little to no contact. We started talking again in September and got back together at the of the month. In October I found it she was pregnant. Just recently I found out she is due May 14 and is 23 weeks. Of course shes claiming its mine. But the numbers are not adding up. We did not sleep with each other again in till September 26. Can a doc really be off by a whole month or more? based on the numbers she would have had to conceive in August? I think if anything there was an affair in Mid August. Any suggestions? Edited January 14, 2013 by Jcut22
NotCamelot Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Not sure of details, but they can do a paternitly test before birth.... I would have to know this if it were me. I sure would want her coming back to me just because of the pregnancy....IF it were not mine.
Author Jcut22 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 Not sure of details, but they can do a paternitly test before birth.... I would have to know this if it were me. I sure would want her coming back to me just because of the pregnancy....IF it were not mine. That's basically calling her out though and I am not sure if I am ready for that just yet.
stillafool Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I don't think the numbers lie. You need to get the test unless you are just going to go with the flow, hope the baby is yours and if not love it anyway.
NotCamelot Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Ok, what are you ready for? Do you want to reconcile and support someone elses kid? I can only speak for how I would feel. You have done the math and don't think it's possible. If the baby is yours, the congrats! If not, you'd would want to know before it's too late. I'm no lawyer, but some states do have laws that could tie you to 18 years or more of support if you find out later that it's not yours. Be careful IF that matters to you.
Author Jcut22 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 I don't think the numbers lie. You need to get the test unless you are just going to go with the flow, hope the baby is yours and if not love it anyway. So you agree that there was a possible affair? Right? I guess I am trying to figure out what I should do at this point. I am in a stock stage and just confused.
Realist3 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Can a doc really be off by a whole month or more? No. Maybe a week, but not much more than that.
NotCamelot Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 In my experience with family and friends, if a doc is wrong, they usually project it too early......but they are usually pretty close. Do you have anything to go on other this?
Author Jcut22 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 In my experience with family and friends, if a doc is wrong, they usually project it too early......but they are usually pretty close. Do you have anything to go on other this? She has a coworker group she goes out with and I know one of the guys texts her quite a bid out of the norm. Also, the getting back together was mostly engaged by her. Big change of attitude....
Mr. Lucky Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 In October I found it she was pregnant. Just recently I found out she is due May 14 and is 23 weeks. Of course shes claiming its mine. But the numbers are not adding up. We did not sleep with each other again in till September 26. How was her due date calculated? If done by ultrasound in the first or second trimester, the accuracy is normally +/- 8 days. Gestation is normally 266 days... Mr. Lucky
Author Jcut22 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 How was her due date calculated? If done by ultrasound in the first or second trimester, the accuracy is normally +/- 8 days. Gestation is normally 266 days... Mr. Lucky Ultrasound.
NotCamelot Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 She has a coworker group she goes out with and I know one of the guys texts her quite a bid out of the norm. Also, the getting back together was mostly engaged by her. Big change of attitude.... How long after the "getting back together" conversations did the pregnancy come up. Or did she wait until you had sex again to mention that?
Author Jcut22 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 How long after the "getting back together" conversations did the pregnancy come up. Or did she wait until you had sex again to mention that? Almost a month later late October I found out she was Pregnant. I work a lot so I don't know what she was doing during most of that time. My guess is that she has been going to the doc this whole time. I only know the due date because I over heard he talking to her Mother. She did not know I home yet. She has been kinda distant with the whole thing.
Author Jcut22 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 going back to work will check this later.
Author Jcut22 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 Also just so you guys know. This is my first time with pregnancy. I am was pretty clueless on the whole issue untill I researched online. I am pretty much at the point now were I believe an affair did happen. I guess I am looking for reassurance.
Mr. Lucky Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Ultrasound. Well then, it sure looks like conception was between August 3rd and 19th... Mr. Lucky
Bryanp Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 The chances are pretty good that she got pregnant by her affair partner. She is panicking and more than likely this is why she pushed to get back together with you. Do not get fooled into paying for another man's child. You most certainly need to call her out on this. If she gets angry so what. This information is critical. It is doubtful that the doctor was incorrect. You must consider the possibility that she is playing you. I would strongly consider contacting an attorney to understand your options. In addition, it would be a good idea to get tested for STD's the both of you. Good luck. 4
CarrieT Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 If you were split up and living apart, was there a discussion at all about the intent of the separation? I ask because this might not technically be an "affair" if there was a chance you two would not be reconciling anyway. Just say'n...
BetrayedH Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 "I want a paternity test." Repeat this phrase out loud until you have done so in front of your wife. 1
NotCamelot Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 If you were split up and living apart, was there a discussion at all about the intent of the separation? I ask because this might not technically be an "affair" if there was a chance you two would not be reconciling anyway. Just say'n... For me, this would not be the entire issue. I would think she came running back to me when the AP knocked her up. THAT would not sit well at all.
stillafool Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 So you agree that there was a possible affair? Right? I guess I am trying to figure out what I should do at this point. I am in a stock stage and just confused. Yes. There is a great possibility of an affair. Have you asked her when the baby is due and did her answer match what she told her mom?
road Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Your WW had an affair. Google reverse conception calculator. I did. Reverse Due Date Calculator to Calculate Conception Date It said your WW had sex from 8/14 to 8/20. The guy giving all the texts/calls is the OM. You need to get the book Surviving An Affair by Dr Harley. Order it today. Hide a digital VAR in the house and WW car to catch her talking about the affair. Do not confront but come back here and get guidance on how to move. Never reveal how you find out info to your WW. You do not have to prove the truth to her she knows you are not lying. Does WW work with the OM, and is he married? Also install a key logger on the PC without telling WW so you have another means to find out the dirt. How old are you and WW? 1
Oberfeldwebel Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I think that the first thing you need to decide is what will you do if it is not your child. Regardless though if it is yours or not, you need to sit her down and let her know that there will be a test done upon the birth of this child. There is no getting around what is going to happen, she can't lie on a DNA test, the facts will come out. You need to know in advance what you will do, but you don't have to show your cards. You may decide to help her through the pregnancy or recommend that she make other arrangements. Bottom line there has to be a DNA test at the birth of this child. Best of luck to you.
Author Jcut22 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 Thanks for all the feedback. Just some quick updates. --I have never been given a due date from my wife. I think she knows that I am pretty ignorant about what goes on during pregnancy. --I over heard the due date from her phone call with her mom. She didn't know I was home for lunch. --Did search for calculator sites and all the math indicates possible conception/intercourse dates would have to be in August. This is also playing with the numbers of LMP and length of ovulation. I believe my wife is average and always has her period once a month. Even doing so, would push the due date way off and is not accurate with our intercourse dates... --We separated due to a bad fight over financial issues. I think both of us just over reacted to the fight and took it to far. But it was just to get some time apart no plans for this to be permit or see other people. I would consider it cheating if she had an affair. I decided I am going to confront her tonight. I am going to ask what if the doctor has given her a due date. Ask about the date given to her mom if its different. At that point maybe just flat out ask if something is going on. I do not want to raise another mans kid. I am prepared to walk out and file for divorce if she cheated.
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