blue_jay_bird Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Don't growl or nag me I KNOW i should not care about what's going on in his life. But here i am. It seems like he's been with his "rebound" for 6-7 months. Isn't that a very long time to be with a "rebound." I'm guessing not. He seemed so sure of himself. I guess their is no way of knowing. It's just 6-7 seems serious like "i love you territory" When is a rebound not a rebound?
na49 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 A rebound isn't a rebound when they happily get married, live together and grow old together. 6-7 is a pretty long time. Maybe he is really into this girl now. Maybe in another 6-7 months he won't be into her. I know it's easy for me to tell you not to worry about it. but worrying about it is doing you no good. This is why I hope I'm not checking on my ex 6-7 months from now. If she's still chasing this guy or is still with him, I'll feel so much worse than I do now.
geegirl Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 No one can tell if it's a rebound. It's easy to try and slap the word "rebound" because in your heart of hearts you're hoping for it to fail and brainwashing yourself into believing it must be, is just a way to dull the sting. It dulls the rejection. He's in a relationship. He's sharing his life with her and whether 7 months or 7 years, he's there for a reason. You and I may not know why but accept that the reason is because he's chosen to be there with her. If he broke up with her 2 years later, would you label it a rebound? A timeline does not define a relationship. Start living your own life. You can't stand that he has chosen another and you are sitting there bashing yourself for feeling less of a person because he didn't choose you. Stop trying to define it and start accepting that he is where he is.
mike588 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Don't growl or nag me I KNOW i should not care about what's going on in his life. But here i am. It seems like he's been with his "rebound" for 6-7 months. Isn't that a very long time to be with a "rebound." I'm guessing not. He seemed so sure of himself. I guess their is no way of knowing. It's just 6-7 seems serious like "i love you territory" When is a rebound not a rebound? Listen to Geegirl....she's soooo right! Anyway I was a rebound. I connected with an old friend and we started dating and I FOOLISHLY ignored all the red flags especially when she old me she still had feelings for her ex. What a dumbass. We dated for just shy of a year then she dumped me for him. I don't know and don't care if their still together or not and wouldn't take her back for a million bucks...well maybe a million lol. As Geegirl said quit beating yourself up over this and try to move on! All of us have to go thru heart break and the pain that comes with it...your not alone and in the end you'll come out a better...wiser and stronger person...Trust me.
KatZee Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I was a rebound for almost 3 years. Stop following his life because honestly, rebounds can go on for years. I'm proof.
Tree_Salmon Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Don't growl or nag me I KNOW i should not care about what's going on in his life. But here i am. It seems like he's been with his "rebound" for 6-7 months. Isn't that a very long time to be with a "rebound." I'm guessing not. He seemed so sure of himself. I guess their is no way of knowing. It's just 6-7 seems serious like "i love you territory" When is a rebound not a rebound? My ex was with her rebound for the last year and now she wants me to be with her when she dumps him in a few weeks. it doesn't matter how long it lasts, it always ends.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) I was a rebound for almost 3 years. Stop following his life because honestly, rebounds can go on for years. I'm proof. How emotional disconnected can someone be to stay with someone for three years thats a rebound? I just guess i don't have alot of dating knowledge. But i would hope the next long term relationship i have involves the thoughts "even if my ex came back id never leave you for him" "better then ex" "why did i even love ex" ext ext.. well. I guess i could get it. Feeling change and i guess you could love someone for a time... Edited January 14, 2013 by blue_jay_bird
mike588 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 How emotional disconnected can someone be to stay with someone for three years thats a rebound? I just guess i don't have alot of dating knowledge. But i would hope the next long term relationship i have involves the thoughts "even if my ex came back id never leave you for him" "better then ex" "why did i even love ex" ext ext.. well. I guess i could get it. Feeling change and i guess you could love someone for a time... My ex. swore and promised and guaranteed me she would never go back...thing is there was an emotional connection between them....she loved me but was....IN LOVE with her ex.
KatZee Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 How emotional disconnected can someone be to stay with someone for three years thats a rebound? I just guess i don't have alot of dating knowledge. But i would hope the next long term relationship i have involves the thoughts "even if my ex came back id never leave you for him" "better then ex" "why did i even love ex" ext ext.. well. I guess i could get it. Feeling change and i guess you could love someone for a time... You have no idea. I was genuinely in love with this person. He put on a very good show. Swore to me up and down he was over his ex, would never go back to her. Two years into our relationship I found out he cheated on me with her. Had been contacting her periodically throughout our entire relationship. He put on this full facade of being in love with me but towards the end, and more so after he dumped me, I realized just how shallow he had been with his feelings for me. I fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker. He was able to dump me after 3 years and never take a second look backwards. That's what my ex does. He's a jumper. Too scared to be alone so he throws himself into relationships directly after other ones end. He carries a lot of baggage, is emotionally unavailable. I basically was just something to fill his time with. I was never going to become his wife, or be anything more than that, but he made it seem I would be.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 (edited) You have no idea. I was genuinely in love with this person. He put on a very good show. Swore to me up and down he was over his ex, would never go back to her. Two years into our relationship I found out he cheated on me with her. Had been contacting her periodically throughout our entire relationship. He put on this full facade of being in love with me but towards the end, and more so after he dumped me, I realized just how shallow he had been with his feelings for me. I fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker. He was able to dump me after 3 years and never take a second look backwards. That's what my ex does. He's a jumper. Too scared to be alone so he throws himself into relationships directly after other ones end. He carries a lot of baggage, is emotionally unavailable. I basically was just something to fill his time with. I was never going to become his wife, or be anything more than that, but he made it seem I would be. I don't know how you can trust anyone anymore. I think im dealing with that too. But in no relation to you. In the end i guess i just try to rationalize that he never was everything. Looking back I can't remember a happy memory, i know they are there but i'm blinded or maybe he was so unhappy for so long. It just seem like the type of person he was in the end. RANTING. But in the end here we are. But, things are never that black and white.? Edited January 15, 2013 by blue_jay_bird
KatZee Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I don't know how you can trust anyone anymore. I think im dealing with that too. But in no relation to you. In the end i guess i just try to rationalize that he never was everything. Looking back I can't remember a happy memory, i know they are there but i'm blinded or maybe he was so unhappy for so long. It just seem like the type of person he was in the end. RANTING. But in the end here we are. But, things are never that black and white.? Well it's partly my fault. There were a lot of red flags that were waving in my face, but instead of paying attention to them I swept them under the rug. Made excuses. Said, "Oh he's different with me." I believed I was the exception, when all along I was the rule. If I learned anything, it's never to just take someones word for something. Watch their actions. My ex talked a big game... but there was never any follow through. With anything. He said he loved me and wanted a future with me. Did he do anything to make that happen? No. He wouldn't even have a conversation with me about the future. If I tried to ask where we were going, he said I was too needy and was pressuring him. If we had an argument and he did something wrong, he'd say he'd try harder and it wouldn't happen again. Again, he was just telling me what I wanted to hear to shut me up. He never tried. His issues came around time and time again. All talk, no action. The next guy I get into a relationship with is going to have a hell of a time with me and is going to be expected to really prove himself with actions. I'm done listening to words.
witmadskilllz Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 My ex started dating her old class mate post BU. The 'rebound' relationship has stemmed into a long term relationship, much longer than my relationship with her and they're still together and going strong. No point in caring when your ex's are having the time of their lives out there. We should do the same because we don't get any younger as each day pass by. 1
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