xxoo Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Do they have a choice? This situation is something I'm wondering about. If I'm dating a girl who has long hair that I absolutely love, and then she tells me that she wants to get a boy-cut. Would I be able to support her decision (and like it?) Even worse is if she gets it cut without warning me first, what am I supposed to do? Odds are I would completely hate the way she looks. It's her hair. Obviously, she can do what she wants. You can, and should, tell her if you have some huge attachment to long hair to the point that you would not find her attractive with short hair. Then the ball is in her court, so to speak. What's her priority: you, or her hair? You can be honest without being controlling about it. 1
FitChick Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I'd hate to be her boyfriend/husband after she got her hair cut. "So how does my hair look?" "Don't worry babe, you can wear a wig" Since she makes millions of dollars more than her husband, he has no say, especially since she cut her hair for her job.
KungFuJoe Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Anne Hathaway could cut her hair any freakin way she wanted. She'd still look great. She's definitely one of my favs. She was RIDICULOUS in Get Smart. And Havok.
sweetkiwi Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I find I attracted more men with my super short hair. Ladies too
sweetjasmine Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Not everyone feels that way. I've had my hair down to my waist and up to my ears. My H prefers it long, but has driven with me to the hairdresser more than once to cut it short. Same. I've had mine past bra-strap length, at chin length, and everywhere in between, and my H has never had a problem with any of it. He prefers longer hair, but he didn't stop being attracted to me when I've cut it short. He's had a beard, goatee, and been totally clean shaven, and it hasn't affected my attraction for him, either. The idea of people not wanting to have sex with their partner because of a new haircut is just so absurd to me. I don't get it. It's also worth noting that women have a tendency to make significant changes to their hair at certain turning points in their lives. I was skeptical of that notion at first, but over the years, I've felt similar urges (chopped off my hair after leaving graduate school, grew it out when I started a new job, etc.) and have seen other women my age do the same. It's unreasonable to expect someone to keep their hair exactly the same for years and years. It's a very personal thing for a lot of us. 1
xxoo Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Same. I've had mine past bra-strap length, at chin length, and everywhere in between, and my H has never had a problem with any of it. He prefers longer hair, but he didn't stop being attracted to me when I've cut it short. He's had a beard, goatee, and been totally clean shaven, and it hasn't affected my attraction for him, either. The idea of people not wanting to have sex with their partner because of a new haircut is just so absurd to me. I don't get it. It's also worth noting that women have a tendency to make significant changes to their hair at certain turning points in their lives. I was skeptical of that notion at first, but over the years, I've felt similar urges (chopped off my hair after leaving graduate school, grew it out when I started a new job, etc.) and have seen other women my age do the same. It's unreasonable to expect someone to keep their hair exactly the same for years and years. It's a very personal thing for a lot of us. I can relate to everything you've said here! I spent my 20s growing and chopping my hair. But it was important to me, at those points, to "shed" that long hair, just for a while--for a variety of reasons. In the end, I realized that long hair just suits my personality better: more natural, less styled. 3
pteromom Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 It's also worth noting that women have a tendency to make significant changes to their hair at certain turning points in their lives. I was skeptical of that notion at first, but over the years, I've felt similar urges (chopped off my hair after leaving graduate school, grew it out when I started a new job, etc.) and have seen other women my age do the same. It's unreasonable to expect someone to keep their hair exactly the same for years and years. It's a very personal thing for a lot of us. Not to mention it is incredibly FUN to try new cuts and colors. I can't imagine having the same hair for many years. Sometimes it's long; sometimes it's short; sometimes it's layered; sometimes it's all one length; sometimes I have bangs; sometimes I don't. It's fun! 3
KungFuJoe Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 You know what's cool about a chick getting a drastically different hairstyle? When you hit it from behind, you can pretend you're sleeping with someone else!!!! I make that joke with my wife everytime she gets her hair done. 3
sweetjasmine Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I spent my 20s growing and chopping my hair. But it was important to me, at those points, to "shed" that long hair, just for a while--for a variety of reasons. That feeling when you chop it all off and everything suddenly feels so light is pretty incredible! Not to mention, less shedding, less of a hassle with hair getting everywhere... I'm currently trying to grow mine out down to my waist, but it'll be nice to cut it again when I get tired of it. 1
Els Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Do they have a choice? This situation is something I'm wondering about. If I'm dating a girl who has long hair that I absolutely love, and then she tells me that she wants to get a boy-cut. Would I be able to support her decision (and like it?) Even worse is if she gets it cut without warning me first, what am I supposed to do? Odds are I would completely hate the way she looks. This isn't about you, though. xxoo's point was that some men genuinely are fine with both short and long hairstyles.
Els Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I can relate to everything you've said here! I spent my 20s growing and chopping my hair. But it was important to me, at those points, to "shed" that long hair, just for a while--for a variety of reasons. In the end, I realized that long hair just suits my personality better: more natural, less styled. Hahah, I finally found a 'sweet spot' that I like - slightly below the shoulders and layered. Longer than that, and it starts to look like a lion's mane if I don't spend time styling it. Shorter doesn't look as good on me, and is difficult to tie. The only downside is that I get it trimmed every 2 months now to maintain the length, so I don't get to save up on hairdresser visits. AND the bf doesn't get to pretend I'm someone else from behind like KFJ does. 1
PogoStick Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 (edited) Women start doing the short hair thing as they get older. Along with getting out of shape, it's a sign that they aren't trying anymore. If they're done putting effort into themselves, then I'm done putting effort into them too. And then they wonder why guys are chasing the girls 10 years younger... No, I don't enjoy Hatheway looking like a boy. Long, curly hair is sexy! Mid-back, around the shoulder blades. I know it's lots of work but I love you ladies for it. Edited January 16, 2013 by PogoStick
sweetjasmine Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 The only downside is that I get it trimmed every 2 months now to maintain the length, so I don't get to save up on hairdresser visits. AND the bf doesn't get to pretend I'm someone else from behind like KFJ does. Yeah, that's the downside. Although if you're adventurous enough and willing to buy some really good professional scissors, you can do simple trims every other 2 months on your own. This is my hairdresser savings plan (which happens to just be a slightly modified version of laziness ): keep your hair healthy (no blow drying, no dye, no bleach, no brushing when wet, no teasing, no hot curlers, no hot flattening irons, no yanking on/ripping knots, no tight pony tails) and get it cut once a year. Obviously won't work for everyone, but it sure does save a lot of money. Long hair can really be a lot of work, and to be honest, it gets irritating when people refuse to acknowledge how inconvenient and uncomfortable it can be for someone to keep and maintain long hair and how much effort it can take. It's not easy for some people to grow healthy long hair, and if it's not healthy, it's going to look bad. Not to mention, it's never going to grow past a certain length because of all the breakage.
Els Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 (edited) Women start doing the short hair thing as they get older. Along with getting out of shape, it's a sign that they aren't trying anymore. If they're done putting effort into themselves, then I'm done putting effort into them too. And then they wonder why guys are chasing the girls 10 years younger... No, I don't enjoy Hatheway looking like a boy. Long, curly hair is sexy! Mid-back, around the shoulder blades. I know it's lots of work but I love you ladies for it. So a woman only has to put effort into herself, and you'll put effort into her? She doesn't have to put any effort into you? Sounds fair enough in that case, I suppose. Yeah, that's the downside. Although if you're adventurous enough and willing to buy some really good professional scissors, you can do simple trims every other 2 months on your own. Oh, man, I don't think I have the guts to do that. I always get my hair layered, which seems fairly complicated to do. If I had a straight cut I might try it. This is my hairdresser savings plan (which happens to just be a slightly modified version of laziness ): keep your hair healthy (no blow drying, no dye, no bleach, no brushing when wet, no teasing, no hot curlers, no hot flattening irons, no yanking on/ripping knots, no tight pony tails) and get it cut once a year. Obviously won't work for everyone, but it sure does save a lot of money. Yeah, that's basically my principle in dealing with hair (other than the once a year bit). Honestly, the things that women do to their hair to make them look nice now (blow drying, curling/straightening, etc) are the very same things that will also make the hair lose its natural lustre and silkiness earlier. It's like perpetual heel-wearing - you look gorgeous in 5-inch heels, I'm sure, but in your 50s your feet are going to be corny, buniony, and simply awful. Long hair can really be a lot of work, and to be honest, it gets irritating when people refuse to acknowledge how inconvenient and uncomfortable it can be for someone to keep and maintain long hair and how much effort it can take. It's not easy for some people to grow healthy long hair, and if it's not healthy, it's going to look bad. Not to mention, it's never going to grow past a certain length because of all the breakage. I completely agree. IMO if a guy wants me to be keeping my hair long (and, goes without saying, looking nice) when I want it shorter, he'd better be doing something equally troublesome for me as well. And no, 'not shaving bald' doesn't cut it for me. Fortunately my bf is fine with anything - or almost anything. I suppose he wouldn't be thrilled if I showed up in a crew cut. Edited January 16, 2013 by Elswyth
KungFuJoe Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I guess maybe I should redefine "short". To me, short means chin length or above. Anything that rests on the shoulders isn't what I would consider short. My wife has the most beautiful naturally curly hair. It used to reach to the middle of her boob (sorry but that's the best point of reference I could think of). Over the past 13 years, as she's gotten it cut and recut, it's considerably shorter now...just a bit beyond her shoulders. BUT, I think she looks better with it now. It's fuller and seems to compliment her face more. But if she got it cut to chin length, she'd look like Shirley Temple. 1
Els Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I'd personally call chin-length 'short', shoulder-length 'medium' and mid-back onwards 'long'. But yeah, I've definitely seem people call shoulder-length 'short' before. Struck me as pretty weird.
KungFuJoe Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I'd personally call chin-length 'short', shoulder-length 'medium' and mid-back onwards 'long'. But yeah, I've definitely seem people call shoulder-length 'short' before. Struck me as pretty weird. I guess short for a girl? We're used to seeing girls with hair down their back.
mesmerized Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Short hair is not exactly a man magnet. Why do you think extensions are so popular?? But if you look like Natalie Portman and have short hair then it doesn't matter. 2
sweetkiwi Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Short hair is not exactly a man magnet. Why do you think extensions are so popular?? But if you look like Natalie Portman and have short hair then it doesn't matter. I've been told I look like Natalie portman. I think the trick to having short hair is good bone structure and clear skin. As a hair stylist I make 1000% sure the woman actually wants short hair. Because I dont need anyone crying in my chair. 2
mesmerized Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I've been told I look like Natalie portman. I think the trick to having short hair is good bone structure and clear skin. As a hair stylist I make 1000% sure the woman actually wants short hair. Because I dont need anyone crying in my chair. I've cried a few times when they chopped too much of my hair. Now I just scare them before they start and tell them what's going to happen if they go too crazy.
Author caseinpoint Posted January 19, 2013 Author Posted January 19, 2013 My short hair is like Anne Hathaway's in Les Miserables. Most of my female friends envy that I can carry my short hair. I haven't heard a male friend compliment my short hair. I guess they don't really care. Guys I've dated and who liked me talked about my face. Actually none had talked about my hair. So I think most guys prefer long hair on women, which brings me to my thread of it affecting my dating life. Of course if I looked great, it shouldn't matter. While I can't say I'm ugly, I can't say I think I look better than most of the other girls. And of course if I wasn't as aloof (as some friends said I am), it might help. Maybe it's not all about hair length, from all your posts.
40 Fonzarelli Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Vast majority of times, a woman with short hair would look better with long hair. The cute girls with short hair are cute already so they can get away with it. However, an average girl with short hair can look much better with longer hair. 1
FitChick Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Too many women make the mistake of thinking long hair makes them look younger or better. If you have thin, stringy hair keep it short. I know someone whose hair is so thin and fine you can see her scalp. When she pulls it back into a ponytail the circumference is that of my pinky. I know someone else who has thick, long hair but it is the color and texture of a bale of hay.
ascendotum Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 Vast majority of times, a woman with short hair would look better with long hair. The cute girls with short hair are cute already so they can get away with it. However, an average girl with short hair can look much better with longer hair. I agree. Its hard for us on the www to tell what is having the biggest impact on your dating life. Some women here can exaggerate how tough things are for them (to others or even just in their mind), but if you feel disappointed in the way things are going you don't have to just go with 'I am me and not going to change to please men - love me for who I am'. 90% of the advice given here to the guys is the opposite. You are average looking (no sin most people are) + have really short hair + are aloof. Those last 2 factors you can change...if you want to. You can always go back. If you were doing well in the dating game, I would say go with what you like, but since you hint that's not the case, then I would say ditch the man style cut. Many times I have seen women get really short hair cuts, and its only the women (generally older) who praise the style, rarely ever guys. They know better. Like I posted prior, when I have told female friends or exes they would look better with longer hair they get a bit pissed off. My married friend's tend to clam up on how much they dislike it when their wives get shorter & shorter hair cuts...beyond saying I liked your hair the way it was before (like me). On a date if I thought a woman had great hair style I would let her know. If she had a 'les Miserables' hair cut, I would say nothing, but (for me anyway) often it would not be flattering to her...just my opinion. Don't go with what your gfs say, but get the opinion of some men you know who you can trust not to BS you. I agree with FC when it comes to thin, stringy hair though.
Recommended Posts