SJC2008 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) I'm starting to think It'll never happen on two fronts. Getting a gf and having sex. I'm 31 and have only had 3 sexual encounters in my life, 2 being intercoruse. My 1st and only GF was when I was a teen and it didn't last long enough to count IMO. Does anyone here know or have heard of a late bloomer success story? Are we doomed?? Edited January 14, 2013 by SJC2008 spelling 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I'm starting to think It'll never happen on two fronts. Getting a gf and having sex. I'm 31 and have only had 3 sexual encounters in my life, 2 being intercoruse. My 1st and only GF was when I was a teen and it didn't last long enough to count IMO. Does anyone here know or have heard of a late bloomer success story? Are we doomed?? Well, you've already had sex, so if you didn't have to pay for it, that part is done. So, I don't understand that part of your question. As far as the GF and getting married part, yes, likely it will happen. I think most guys who do really badly with women in their 20s will eventually meet someone to marry in their 30s. Guys I know who did badly with women eventually found wives. The only thing is, she might not be physically attracted to you (in that right off the bat way). Also, you may get married, but you still haven't erased the stigma of rejection and overall being horrible with women. You know what I mean? Do you mean success by finding one woman or being successful with women in general?
Author SJC2008 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 Well, you've already had sex, so if you didn't have to pay for it, that part is done. So, I don't understand that part of your question. As far as the GF and getting married part, yes, likely it will happen. I think most guys who do really badly with women in their 20s will eventually meet someone to marry in their 30s. Guys I know who did badly with women eventually found wives. The only thing is, she might not be physically attracted to you (in that right off the bat way). Also, you may get married, but you still haven't erased the stigma of rejection and overall being horrible with women. You know what I mean? Do you mean success by finding one woman or being successful with women in general? Succesful enough to where I can get an R. How many man are successful with women overall anyway? One of the many things that bothers me about being such LB is that I don't even know what I truly want? I don't know if I'm a commitment phobe or a long term guy. I think I'd like to get married but how do I know if I truly want to?
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Succesful enough to where I can get an R. How many man are successful with women overall anyway? How many men are successful with women? Uhh. Lots! I mean if all you want is a relationship with one woman, I'd say that day will come. But I think you and a lot of the men here in that same boat may be disappointed when that day comes. She might not be physically attracted to you (in that way), or she might put you down. She may make you feel like she's settling. Just being in a relationship won't solve all of your ills. The guys I know who are the happiest were able to prove to themselves that they could attract women (plural) and then finally settled with a woman that they chose. 1
somedude81 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 God I hope we aren't doomed. As to the question, no, I've never heard of any 30's late bloomer that actually got to bloom.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 God I hope we aren't doomed. As to the question, no, I've never heard of any 30's late bloomer that actually got to bloom. I have known late bloomers (past, say age 27 or 28) who have eventually found pretty, nice wives, but they never got good with women no matter how hard they tried or were able to spark that 'traditional' type of attraction in women. If all you want is one woman, it's imminently possible.
Sun Devil Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Why were those late bloomers not good with women? Was it due to physical reasons or was it that they had bad social skills with women?
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I have met only a few people in my life who got to age 22 or older and were inexperienced. All of them (aside from myself) are guys from family oriented ethnic groups in which dating was or is kind of discouraged. None of them has had any success yet. So as far as I'm aware, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It's odd because I know a pastor's kid and another guy who's an important figure at the local mosque. Both have had girlfriends before despite the fact that they grew up kind of sheltered.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Why were those late bloomers not good with women? Was it due to physical reasons or was it that they had bad social skills with women? I'd say in general both. They started off socially backward, perhaps because they were picked on for being short or skinny in school, then they were trying to improve their social skills, but just couldn't get that one victory to get them over the hump. A very good looking guy will always be able to get over that hump. The further they fall behind socially, the harder it is.
somedude81 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I have known late bloomers (past, say age 27 or 28) who have eventually found pretty, nice wives, but they never got good with women no matter how hard they tried or were able to spark that 'traditional' type of attraction in women. If all you want is one woman, it's imminently possible. Any idea how they got the wives or how old the guys and girls were? Why were those late bloomers not good with women? Was it due to physical reasons or was it that they had bad social skills with women? It's a combination of the two. Not good looking enough to get attention based on looks alone (or something about the looks may actually turn women off) and not good enough attraction skills to make up for the lack of looks.
Sun Devil Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Why could they not get that victory? I thought improving yourself would make you successful with women
truth_seeker Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Believe it or not but there is someone for everyone. It comes down to patience and not being so picky. Don't tell me out of 50 women you encounter (age range: 33-39) that all of them wouldn't be interested in you? I bet half of them would have interest. 10 of them strong interest. Late bloomer is all about growing and adapting. If you're the same guy now (30's) as you were in your 20's, then I doubt you will have success. If you've grown over the years, intellectually and emotionally, then women in your age group will see this and be drawn to you. As people age, the looks go out the window and it's more about compatibility and financial security. If you're looking for a hot chick then use your wallet to get her. If you want a nice, average looking woman to be your companion, then use your mind and open your heart. All is attainable at any age.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Any idea how they got the wives or how old the guys and girls were? In their early to mid 30s. Some in their late 20s. A lot of them married the first woman they ever dated. Wives were around the same age. Why could they not get that victory? I thought improving yourself would make you successful with women They tried. Really hard. I could throw myself in that group too. Looks and social status are very important, so if you are behind, the chances of catching up are not great. I do know some guys who were bad with women in high school, college and even their early 30s, but they were more like good looking dorks. Once they got themselves out there, they did well.
Sun Devil Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Did they actually improve their social skills the right way such as improving charisma. I ask because I worry that my height will prevent me from finding a girl until I am in my 30s or older. I will not wait that long.
StanMusial Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Why were those late bloomers not good with women? Was it due to physical reasons or was it that they had bad social skills with women? What do you mean by late bloomer exactly? I have had moderate success with getting gfs and dates since my teens. But I don't feel like I came into my own as a man until I was into my 30's. Right now, I'm looking to settle down and find a quality partner to do so with. I am thankful that I avoided that until I was ready. On the other hand, I do know a guy who didn't have sex until he was 30. He married the girl that gave it to him. She was 21 I think. He was a friendly, outgoing guy but he was not goodlooking. So he struggled for years and years. He was a touch overweight and had a big bald area on his head. His wife is pretty though. He did very well for himself, I'm proud of him.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Did they actually improve their social skills the right way such as improving charisma. I ask because I worry that my height will prevent me from finding a girl until I am in my 30s or older. I will not wait that long. They dressed better and employed the aid of more successful men to help them. One of the guys tried to completely revamp his personality and become a party animal. Almost a total and complete failure. But he did marry a very pretty woman who he chased for a long time. Another guy kept his base personality and tried to hit no geeky girls. He faced a lot of rejection. But he's had one or two women. It's highly probable you'll get a woman. When? I don't know. Be prepared for the reality that she won't be attracted to you in the same way she's attracted to the hot guy. That's one thing that sucks about being a late bloomer. Men are pretty much attracted to average women in the same way they would be attracted to a hot woman. Women are not.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 On the other hand, I do know a guy who didn't have sex until he was 30. He married the girl that gave it to him. She was 21 I think. He was a friendly, outgoing guy but he was not goodlooking. So he struggled for years and years. He was a touch overweight and had a big bald area on his head. His wife is pretty though. He did very well for himself, I'm proud of him. Yup. This.
ThaWholigan Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Short answer: no, you're not doomed. Long answer: to be typed later......
Sun Devil Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Did these guys ever read pua material or hire dating coaches to improve their interactions with women?
StanMusial Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Did these guys ever read pua material or hire dating coaches to improve their interactions with women? That one guy mentioned articles in Mens Health etc from time to time. Pretty useless out in the real world. The best teacher is observation, unless you have that disorder whereby you can't discern nonverbal cues. Honestly a huge factor is looks if you want to be a full on player.
somedude81 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 In their early to mid 30s. Some in their late 20s. A lot of them married the first woman they ever dated. Wives were around the same age. Hmm, so a variety then. My main belief though, is that the older the man is without getting anywhere, the harder it becomes. What do you mean by late bloomer exactly? I have had moderate success with getting gfs and dates since my teens. But I don't feel like I came into my own as a man until I was into my 30's. Right now, I'm looking to settle down and find a quality partner to do so with. I am thankful that I avoided that until I was ready. On the other hand, I do know a guy who didn't have sex until he was 30. He married the girl that gave it to him. She was 21 I think. He was a friendly, outgoing guy but he was not goodlooking. So he struggled for years and years. He was a touch overweight and had a big bald area on his head. His wife is pretty though. He did very well for himself, I'm proud of him. No you were not a late bloomer because you've had moderate success. Though your friend is a perfect example. Now, how the hell did you friend manage to have sex with and eventually marry a pretty 21 year old?!
StanMusial Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 No you were not a late bloomer because you've had moderate success. Though your friend is a perfect example. Now, how the hell did you friend manage to have sex with and eventually marry a pretty 21 year old?! You're right, I did OK but I really didn't "grow up" in terms of real romantic relationships until 30+. The guy I mentioned met that girl through a circle of friends I used to hang with. Her and her friends rode with us on a party bus to a concert. Another girl I know invited them to split the cost. She was still in college when they got engaged so I think she was 21 or 22. They are married for 7 years and have a little boy and a little girl. 1
ThaWholigan Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 You're right, I did OK but I really didn't "grow up" in terms of real romantic relationships until 30+. The guy I mentioned met that girl through a circle of friends I used to hang with. Her and her friends rode with us on a party bus to a concert. Another girl I know invited them to split the cost. She was still in college when they got engaged so I think she was 21 or 22. They are married for 7 years and have a little boy and a little girl. Dat Social Circle Game
somedude81 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 You're right, I did OK but I really didn't "grow up" in terms of real romantic relationships until 30+. The guy I mentioned met that girl through a circle of friends I used to hang with. Her and her friends rode with us on a party bus to a concert. Another girl I know invited them to split the cost. She was still in college when they got engaged so I think she was 21 or 22. They are married for 7 years and have a little boy and a little girl. Party bus? I'm sure there was some booze involved Interesting how a 30 year old guys shared friends with college age people and enough to get him invited to something like that.
Recommended Posts