Some advice on the current problems I have with this one girl.

[Conqueror224]

O.k. at the beginning of 2004 I had noticed that one of my younger sister's friends was quite cute. I had already met her before so it's not like I just saw her I just noticed that she was very cute. Just to tell you guys my sister is 2 years younger than me in case you were wondering if I was a pedafile. I had told a couple of my friends about how I was feeling. I had decided to tell her that I liked her but this is were the first mistake happened.

 

I am a very shy person plus the fact that she only comes over to see my sister doesn't help. One night she slept over I had decided to tell her but I wasn't sure how so I thought of leaving a note in her backpack that she brought over. I know this isn't the best way or really even a good way to tell someone that you like them but I really had no other way. So after she finds out my sister and the rest of her friends wouldn't leave me alone about the note. So months passed and nothing seemed to have gotten better. About 3 or 4 months later I decided to try and solve the problem with (I bet you can guess it) another note.

 

So I gave her another note lying to her that I don't like her anymore and that I was just confused at the time blah blah blah. It has been about 3 months since then and she seems to be completely back to the way she was before except some minor changes. Like she seems to be afraid to be in the same alone with me and other similar things like that. Just to tell you she isn't really shy at all I mean at school she is one of the girls that passes notes and talks all the time and has bazillions of friends. So I guess it is a little bit odd and I am kinda wondering if it is sort of a denial of her feelings that she may have for me or she is still a little skeptical about being around me because of the past problems that I caused.

 

What I want to know from the readers of my screw ups is is there any chance of salvaging a relationship or should I try and forget it all. Second what I should do to help like get rid of some of the tension between us. Also what are some of the biggest problems that I had. Last from what I know and what you do do you think that my crush (or whatever you wanna call her) has any feelings deep deep inside for me or is there a chance of those feelings developing.

 

Thanks for helping me with my problems,

Conqueror224

[seahorse]

Hi,

 

Well, first off I should think the poor girl is just a bit confused. First you leave her a note saying you like her, then when it all goes a bit pear shaped you leave another one saying you don't like her. What's a girl to think???

 

Leave it out with the notes, and TALK to her. Phone her, or call on her and just talk. (not where your sister or any of her friends will overhear).

 

This will be really hard for you to do, I don't doubt it, but as you know, nothing ventured nothing gained. The only way you will know what she wants or what she thinks about you is to communicate.

[tokyo]

There are all different kinds of shyness. Some people appear to be quite tough,

but have pokerface and inside everything is bubbling. Some appear to be quiet,

but manage to do a great performance onstage or hold great speeches in public.

 

She is probably confused, "I" would if someone tells me he likes and without waiting

my answer takes it back. If she liked you she is not going to tell you now that she

did. Sometimes two shy people get into very weird and confusing situations.

 

It´s really better if you talk with her face to face.

[Conqueror224]

something I forgot to mention was this whole situation was a time span of 6 months or more. Incase you may have thought it happened really quickly.

[Conqueror224]

Something else that I have just found out today is that my sister may think that she likes me but is hiding it. She said that she has been flirting with me and doesn't do it with anyone else. I didn't even know about this until today cause I am little dense about things that happen to me and I am very perseptive to things happening to people around me. It isn't really that odd is it.

 

Also just to tell you the first and second notes were seperated by about 4 months. And it has been like 2 months since then.

 

Just like to add some more information to my helpers so you can well help me more.

[tokyo]

She is either taking it very very slow and now is completely confused about you

and your intentions after your second note or she is not interested at all.

Talk to her.

[Conqueror224]

Thanks for all the help I'll try and talk to her alone.

 

Keep giving me some more advice if you guys have anymore for me.

[Conqueror224]

There is a little bit of a problem that I didn't bother to mention earlier cause I wasn't thinking straight for like 3 days. Well first off I am very very very shy when talking to girls. Normally I am fine when it is my sister's friends but when I try to talk to her alone I just freeze up and the only solution is writing a note and obviously that is impossible with me becuase I have already done it twice.

 

The other problem is the fact that she doesn't even want to be in the same room as me. I'm guessing it is either to avoid anything like what you guys have suggested to me. Second it is the fact that she is afraid of something I may do to her when we are alone together.

 

An example is a few days ago when she slept over my sister left the room and held the door shut just to mess with her becuase she knows she doesn't like to be with me alone. During the minute she was stuck in there she tried to pry open the door but she was holding it. Another example is I was on my parents computer and her my sister and another one of her friends was there. They said that they were leaving so we (jokingly)could be alone. As they left she got up and almost ran out of the room.

 

Basically what I am saying is that I can't talk to her alone because of my extreme shyness and the fact that she doesn't want to be alone with me. So I was wondering if there was anything else I could do to straighten everything out.

 

Please help!

[tokyo]

How about making a video of yourself?

[Conqueror224]

I just realized that she has a boyfriend and I was just wondering if that would make a difference in her answer if I talk to her. I was just wondering because she always has a boyfriend. And I was just curious.

[tokyo]

If she has a boyfriend then I would keep out of it. I don´t think it´s very nice to meddle in other people´s relationship unless she is not very happy with her boyfriend.

[Conqueror224]

So you are saying that I shouldn't talk to her and try and straighten out all of the things that I have said to her over the past 6 months. But instead wait until she doesn't have a boyfriend then approach her and talk to her?

[pixie2004]

First of all - there are a few people in life that are OFF LIMITS....

 

they are

 

* your priest,

* your teachers,

* your BOSS and

* your brother/sisters friends and

* your mum/dads friends

and your friends gf/bf and exes.

 

PLEASE remember this rule.. It makes life so much easier. You hurt other people's feelings by mingling with them

 

PS What is your sister's comment about all of this.

 

[tokyo]

I wouldn´t date

 

* priests

* my friends bf and exes (unless they are completely totally over them which is unlikely unless the guy is a complete idiot and then - why should I want him??)

* mum/dads friends

 

The rest is ok

 

I don´t really think you have a lot of chances to get further here, so stop it for a while, don´t try to straighten up anything. Sometimes it´s just impossible to repair the damage and it only gets worse, you will probably scare her with too much honesty. I was many times in situations where I said something wrong or asked something inappropiate (in their eyes) and whenever I started to talk about it, explain it, apologized, it just didn´t work. Some people don´t want to talk, because their too unforgiving or because their uncomfortable to talk about their feelings and pushing them will be of no use.

 

How old are you by the way?

[Conqueror224]

Right now my sister doesn't even know I still like her or atleast I don't think she does. There are only 2 people that know I still like her and they are my friends. When my sister first found out she said she didn't care if I liked her. It seems that even if she knows I like her still she wouldn't care. So my sister is ok with me liking her friend. I'm pretty sure anyway.

 

Ok I understand exactly what you are talking about kooky. But exactly how long should I wait becuase time isn't exactly on my side. Who knows if she could get into a very serious relationship for a long time and then my chance is already gone. So can you give me a guess on how long I should wait to try and talk or should I try and do it little by little?

[blue17]

you said dating a sisters friend is wrong, but what about dating a friends sister?

[Conqueror224]

Oh yeah Kooky just to tell you my birthdate is on my profile. You were wondering weren't you so look.

[tokyo]

Well, your profile doesn´t say anything about your age and student includes a wide age span.

I would say you are a teenager. Your sister´s friend also seems to be very young, I mean

judging her behavior. I really was like that when I was younger, always very nervious, still am,

but people don´t really notice it unless I have to do a presentation.

 

I suggest, you smile at her and try to be self-confident, thus you will not make her more nervious

than she already is. Some people get more nervious when they see that the other person is nervious,

they feel like it´s their fault or whatever, so try to be nice and self-confident without pushing. I always

liked itwhen people smiled at me, it made me feel more comfortable and it seemed like they were

interested in me as a person. If you give her a genuine smile a couple of times she´ll smile back and

then you have a good position to win her over if she is not so sure yet with her current boyfriend.

[Conqueror224]

Thanks and I made sure my birthdate is in my profile now so you can check for my birthdate and then you can figure out how old I am.

[Trager]

if she is in a serious relationtip or in one at all she is off limits, dont put doubts in her mind about who she is now with. as a girl i highly dislike those who go for girls or guys in a relationtip. wait till its over to make a move, if she is sereous with him sorry to say u should move on

[Conqueror224]

Well the thing is she is hardly ever not in a relationship with some guy. So what should I do try and find out if she is in a serious relationship or should I just forget about her because she always has a bf?

[Conqueror224]

I just thought of this. Is it at all likely because I know it is possible mainly because nearly anything is possible. Anyway do you guys think it is possible that when I had given the girl the second note that she decided to get a bf. What I was thinking was that maybe she actually likes me and when I had given her the second note she thought well he doesn't like me back so I better move on. Do you guys think it is likely that that is what happened or am I just being retarded? I'm not 100% positive but the whole time between note one and note two I think she didn't have a bf sort of like she was waiting for something to happen but when she got the second note she figured that I really didn't like her.

 

Well before I go on and on do you guys think it is likely that what I have thought of is true or not.