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Has anyone's dating life improved by being a jerk


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Posted

Some people tell me that I need to start being a jerk to women in order to get them attracted to me. Being nice has gotten me nowhere and I want to know if there is anyone here who became better with women by treating them like crap.

Posted

I never had to be a jerk for my dating life to improve.

 

 

You don't either - in fact, it might backfire on you :laugh:

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Posted

Define improved.

 

Your quantity may improve but the quality will fall.

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Posted

Oh lord. Again?

 

Can we have a jerk corner on LS where all the bitter brigade can congregate and leave us normal people alone? Or perhaps you want to join some PUA site? Enough please!

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Posted

You don't either - in fact, it might backfire on you :laugh:

 

If his definition of a jerk, is anything like mine, I guarantee it will fail with normal women. When it does work, all he will get is attention from the most screwed up women out there.

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Posted

If being confident, bold, and fearless when it comes to women means being a jerk, then I am a jerk.

 

I tell women no when I have to, make my pleasures and displeasures known, I don't kiss ass or over compliment, I don't let them step all over me.

  • Author
Posted

Pyro, if you dont know, I never had any luck with girls. I got a couple of dates, but they stopped contacting me. They all say that I am a nice guy, but then I see them fall for guys that treat them like crap. My quantity is zero right now so even of quality decreases, it is better than nothing

Posted
If being confident, bold, and fearless when it comes to women means being a jerk, then I am a jerk.

 

I tell women no when I have to, make my pleasures and displeasures known, I don't kiss ass or over compliment, I don't let them step all over me.

 

That's not being a jerk, that's being an honest adult.

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Posted
Pyro, if you dont know, I never had any luck with girls. I got a couple of dates, but they stopped contacting me. They all say that I am a nice guy, but then I see them fall for guys that treat them like crap. My quantity is zero right now so even of quality decreases, it is better than nothing

 

Trust me man, quality is always better than quantity, in pretty much every aspect of life.

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Posted

Seriously OP. in one thread you ask how to connect to women and in the other how to be a jerk. Which is it?

 

I think they should start teaching Civility to young people in schools. Maybe they'd be better prepared to dating later in life. Sigh.

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Posted
Some people tell me that I need to start being a jerk to women in order to get them attracted to me. Being nice has gotten me nowhere and I want to know if there is anyone here who became better with women by treating them like crap.

 

A little bit. The problem that I see with men that post here in a similar manner to you is they have problems physically attracting women.

 

So, there needs to be some way to spur a woman's attraction. If you're cocky, funny, and a little brash, then you improve your chances to spark some attraction.

 

Don't take what I said so literal. It doesn't mean be a jerk per se. It just means if you're a shy, unassuming, laid back guy, you're pretty much screwed.

Posted
Pyro, if you dont know, I never had any luck with girls. I got a couple of dates, but they stopped contacting me. They all say that I am a nice guy, but then I see them fall for guys that treat them like crap. My quantity is zero right now so even of quality decreases, it is better than nothing

 

Those guys were probably better looking than you or had more money. Women don't like men who are jerks they just tolerate it due to other factors.

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Posted

Being a jerk often pushes women away

 

Be not so gullible , no so eager , stand strong

On opinions , dont be a push over.

Posted (edited)

It doesn't matter what you all say.

 

It's what we all see.

 

Some of the most spectacular jerks I have known in my life have had no problems getting woman after woman.

 

I'm not exaggerating at all. These are guys that if you are a guy at a bar and you go up and introduce yourself in a friendly manner (that would be me) they would not even answer you because they have no interest in talking to 'some random' dude.

 

Does the fact that these guys are good looking play a factor? Yes.

 

But it doesn't change the fact that some of the guys who are the biggest d@uchebags around pull woman after woman, some of them pretty nice women.

 

So, if you're a guy like OP who can't get women, you're just wondering what it is. Is it the looks or being a cocky, arrogant bastard?

Edited by JuneJulySeptember
Posted

So, if you're a guy like OP who can't get women, you're just wondering what it is. Is the looks or being a cocky, arrogant bastard?

 

It's never that simple...

 

some times it because he is exactly her type when it comes to looks. some times it because he was confident enough to walk up and talk to her. Some times it's because she was lonely and just wanted someone to talk to. some times it's because she wanted a free drink. Some times it could be any one of a million other things.

 

Simply put getting a woman to talk to you for a little while is not the same as dating her, or getting into a relationship with her.

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Posted

Doesnt being a jerk to women create drama? I know that women do like drama

Posted
It's never that simple...

 

some times it because he is exactly her type when it comes to looks. some times it because he was confident enough to walk up and talk to her. Some times it's because she was lonely and just wanted someone to talk to. some times it's because she wanted a free drink. Some times it could be any one of a million other things.

 

Simply put getting a woman to talk to you for a little while is not the same as dating her, or getting into a relationship with her.

 

I'm talking about relationships, not ONS. Need examples? Fine.

 

Jerk#1) Ignores guys who can't help introduce him to women (the #1 surefire sign of a jerk). A woman I know tried to break up with him, and he talked her out of it, just so he could dump her a week later.

 

Jerk#2) Ignores guys. Spends all night trying to get with a princess type gal who isn't that pretty and then a few weeks later when asked about her says how ugly she is on the inside and outside.

 

Jerk#3) Openly calls women fat, ugly, and unattractive. Cheats regularly and goes to strip clubs and hookers while he is in a relationship.

 

All guys I know. No exaggeration All have NO problems getting women all over them. Some very nice gals I know have been all over them.

 

Sure, they have charisma too. But it doesn't change the fact that they are serious world class jerks. And apparently, it has not backfired for them at all.

Posted
Doesnt being a jerk to women create drama? I know that women do like drama

 

again man, you got this all wrong. most women don't like that kind of drama, most women don't like drama period. If you are going to make a generalization, I would say most women like a man that is fun and exciting to be around, and that some times this can cause drama. it's a side effect, not the intent.

Posted

 

All guys I know. No exaggeration All have NO problems getting women all over them. Some very nice gals I know have been all over them.

 

Sure, they have charisma too. But it doesn't change the fact that they are serious world class jerks. And apparently, it has not backfired for them at all.

 

Based on what you have posted, the flaw in your logic, is that he shows the woman in question the jerk side of his personality that you see. It's also an assumption that said women or normal. If a woman see's this side of a guys personality and is OK with it, then she is just as screwed up as he is.

Posted
This is where people tend to see things in a skewed manner. Women are attracted more so to dominance rather than just being a "jerk". Jerks more often not have a devil-may-care' date=' dominant attitude towards social interactions. Being a dick is more likely to evoke a response from females and be remembered than a guy who stands there quietly while his jerk friend talks to girls.[/quote']

 

it's also worth mentioning that remembered doesn't equal liked.

Posted (edited)
Based on what you have posted, the flaw in your logic, is that he shows the woman in question the jerk side of his personality that you see. It's also an assumption that said women or normal. If a woman see's this side of a guys personality and is OK with it, then she is just as screwed up as he is.

 

Does it matter? He's still a jerk. You can only hide that for so long.

 

What's the point of this thread? That being a jerk will prevent you from getting women. My contention is that it absolutely will not.

 

It's really sad. I try never to use myself as an example. A friend of mine who I have known for many years is a great guy. Will listen to your life story and buy you beers when first meeting you. He has a stutter and is not 'smooth' in any way at all. Short and a bit of a pot belly. He does SPECTACULARLY bad with women. One night, I called him out to meet two women I know who are nice, average women. Their impression of him was that he was creepy. Their impression of Jerks #2 and #3, who were out on the same night? They both stated that they would date them.

 

SUCH a sad f@*king world we live in.

Edited by JuneJulySeptember
Posted

Don't be a jerk OP. There is a big difference between being a nice guy and being a doormat. Traits such as confidence, independence and being charming are not traits only jerks possess. Some will, but if you want a quality woman to date you then you need to be a quality man.

Posted

Question is moot.

 

You can't just become a jerk. You are who you are. Someone who isn't naturally a "jerk" will just come off as looking like an idiot.

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Posted

It is easy to become a jerk. All you got to do is stop caring about the people around you and think only about yourself. By giving up your empathy, it is easy to do.

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