cottom Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Me and her for 2 years had a perfect relationship, we hardly ever argued. If we did it wasnt even arguments, more like one of us says something and the other goes in a strop. For the first 6 months i did call her names sometimes like chubby and fatty but she wasnt fat, she was 9 and a half stone (got down to 8 stone) it was more through my insecurities about my looks i didnt want her to think she was too good and leave.Whenever we were together for these two years we were always all over each other, but for the final 3 months she was at university and i'd see her once a week. We got into the same routine of going hers and helping her work, i would try and make an effort, dress smart and cook a candlelit dinner for her, take her on nights out. But she stopped really appreciating this, she expected it all.Arguments picked up a little bit here but we were still madly in love, then my friend died and i had to go away for a bit to deal with that. I was round hers and had to go coach station and went in a mood because she wouldnt walk me to the station and say bye so i left and said its over if you dont come. She didnt come and sort of took the message seriously, but also not at the same time, but i had left on a bad note.Then another boy started flirting with her while she was still upset with me and she had fun with him, she started to fancy him (he looks just like me apparently). I got back and she said she wanted to go on break to see what she wants out of life.She met this boy up and they kissed. She has started to like him now, she puts things on twitter such as "cant decide hmmm" as in me or him. 3 weeks later i just started NC after writing her a letter explaining where we went wrong and me apologizing for things id done in the past. She never bothered replying to that. (This other boy is in her classes, her friend group and her building so he will be there 24/7 to take her mind off me...She has been revising for exams over past 3 weeks to take her mind off me...She went out for her birthday with her friends and this boy came too and they hooked up...Her friends all want her to get with him because theyre all in the same friend group whereas im an outsider they dont know and trust, so theyre all telling her what to do) Is a second chance possible in this situation?
a0009 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I dont think you have a chance to get her back. Even if she loves you it will be hard for her to accept you back because she hooked up with her friend and not a random guy. Her friends too are supporting him and you treated her badly by calling her names. Think of how you will feel if you guys end up together and she is hanging out with the other guy. If you want her back you have to accept the fact she banged the other guy. All am saying is that you can give it a shot and tell her what she wants to hear and how you feel about her and forgive her for hooking up. If she loves you she will accept you back. You can wait for a while to see if she changes her mind and accept you back. Sorry but 90% she will say no :( but you can never undestimate the power of love. I think you will feel better trying and failing than doing nothing about it.
TaraMaiden Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Let it go. you're both too young to latch onto just one significant other for any long period of time. you need to enjoy yourself, let your hair down and just quit being too serious. Don't hurt anyone, and don't take stupid risks (ie, always wear 2 condoms!!) but relax. This is way too intense for one so young.
Author cottom Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 2 condoms lol, i cant even wear one because i have extremely bad erection problems where stopping for even a second i go down and i lose erections during sex even...due to some heart problems i have :/ thats why i needed this girl because i could actually keep it up for longer than any other girl and she took her pill and was sti free
fungusamungus Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 Me and her for 2 years had a perfect relationship, we hardly ever argued. If we did it wasnt even arguments, more like one of us says something and the other goes in a strop. For the first 6 months i did call her names sometimes like chubby and fatty but she wasnt fat, she was 9 and a half stone (got down to 8 stone) it was more through my insecurities about my looks i didnt want her to think she was too good and leave.Whenever we were together for these two years we were always all over each other, but for the final 3 months she was at university and i'd see her once a week. We got into the same routine of going hers and helping her work, i would try and make an effort, dress smart and cook a candlelit dinner for her, take her on nights out. But she stopped really appreciating this, she expected it all.Arguments picked up a little bit here but we were still madly in love, then my friend died and i had to go away for a bit to deal with that. I was round hers and had to go coach station and went in a mood because she wouldnt walk me to the station and say bye so i left and said its over if you dont come. She didnt come and sort of took the message seriously, but also not at the same time, but i had left on a bad note.Then another boy started flirting with her while she was still upset with me and she had fun with him, she started to fancy him (he looks just like me apparently). I got back and she said she wanted to go on break to see what she wants out of life.She met this boy up and they kissed. She has started to like him now, she puts things on twitter such as "cant decide hmmm" as in me or him. 3 weeks later i just started NC after writing her a letter explaining where we went wrong and me apologizing for things id done in the past. She never bothered replying to that. (This other boy is in her classes, her friend group and her building so he will be there 24/7 to take her mind off me...She has been revising for exams over past 3 weeks to take her mind off me...She went out for her birthday with her friends and this boy came too and they hooked up...Her friends all want her to get with him because theyre all in the same friend group whereas im an outsider they dont know and trust, so theyre all telling her what to do) Is a second chance possible in this situation?I have no idea how that is a "perfect relationship" to you. - "Perfect relationships" have arguments. If you don't argue, it means that you aren't communicating about your disagreements or concerns. - "Perfect relationships" aren't emotionally abusive or manipulative - "Perfect relationships" are only perfect relationships if BOTH partners feel that they're perfect relationships... not just you. Teasing a girl about her looks so that she thinks worse of herself? Dude...
fungusamungus Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I'll add this. You're young, and you probably don't have any idea what a perfect relationship is (obviously). Take this as a lesson learned and treat your girlfriend better next time. Oh and keep in mind... that buying gifts, cooking dinners, taking her out, making gestures with expectations of returned gratuity is not treating a girl well. It's buttering her up and it eventually becomes smothering. And it does not make up for actions such as making a girl feel insecure about her appearance, or emotionally blackmailing them with threats of a breakup.
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