i'll convince her that she wants the relationship when she really doesn't?

[anotherperson]

So I just finished talking with the ex. This leads me to a question for all of you.

 

She believes that we shouldn't be close friends for awhile because she will end up back in the relationship -- not because she is still romantically attracted to me, but because I am "charismatic and persuasive" and I will make her think she wants something that she doesn't want.

 

What does everyone think of that? Do you think you can make someone feel things that aren't there to some degree already?

 

It's odd. She said all that, but that she still loves me and thinks I'm beautiful. Just not romantically/sexually anymore. Anyway. I won't allow myself to babble on any further. Thoughts?

[genetic]

Hahaha the irony of your story is your kinda in a position like me,

 

I want my ex back and i know with time and being close friends i can hopefully do this. But look i dont agree with her philosphy she loves you but she doesnt nah thats a load of bs son some bull**** girls story. But i agree that she could love your personality not calling you ugly that you might be able to take her back and she might not forgetting you. I suggest give her 2 weeks alone and she would ask you to be your friend or will realize she made a mistake, Girls are alwasy weird when they break up sorry if thats the bad way to put it. But i mean give her some space and time AND BE NICE ABOUT IT dont be a jackass if she broke up with you or anything.

 

- My Final Words

- GeNeTiC

[innanjing]

You said that girls are weird when they break up a relationship. I was wondering if you could be a bit more specific in what you mean. Like how are they weird, what are some of your experiences with this, etc. I think many people out there would be interested in what you have to say regarding this subject.

 

Thanks

[genetic]

well if you would like to know i will surely explain girls are weird and how so after breaking up:

you will all nod your head when i say this

1. they want you to do so much and give them attention but the minute you dont give them attention because your truely bussy they get mad ( it makes no sense whats so ever )

2. They tell you they love you sure and all but in end they just are selfish most of the time and think about themselves if you dont do everything they say.

3. They all give the friend speech i want to be friends with you no matter 1 week down the road after u break up but it always comes.

4. They will always find something wrong you did but you cant tell them anything they did wrong.

5. They always will act like everything wil be alright just becuase in the end they will be happy even though they hurt you.

 

the lesson is their so suductive and deicieving in the end who knows what to believe

[Samson]

I won't allow myself to babble on any further. Thoughts?

 

Just for that simple, kind thought, I'll reply to the thread.

 

 

Your Ex is an idiot.

 

 

 

BTW: Thanks for stopping yourself from babbling.

[innanjing]

Thanks. Your views here are so correct, it is exactly what has happened. They never remember any of the good things, only the bad things, right? Like she tells me that i woke her up one night at midnight to watch a movie with me, she was tired. Funny thing is, she was not working, so no need to get up early, and we had watched tv many times before at this time. So, yea, anything to justify her decision to leave me it seems. Yes, you hit the nail on the head.

 

So tell me, if you have any experience in this area, what happens with these people and yourself over time? Do they continue to act this way towards you, or do they just disappear? And, friends? What is that all about, how can someone that did this sort of hurt to you even consider being your friend?

 

Thanks

[genetic]

Your question innanjing requires some sort of an objective response. People are people none are the exact same i know that i have had 3-4 encounters with breaking up always me getting dumped. And so far every time each one wants to be your friedn to peserve their dignity yes. They're not a**h***s or bitchs to u over time dont worry they just "Care" or "talk" to you less solves both problems. Women are weird and u got to deal with them bcuz u love them i nteh end to death.

[NatoPMT]

Hi anotherperson

 

She believes that we shouldn't be close friends for awhile because she will end up back in the relationship

 

i think shes made this statement because she still has strong feelings for you, she may have broken things off but she still cares for you. Its just as hard for the dumper as the dumpee, shes hurting too, and shes frightened that if she spends time with you it will be easier for you to get back together as she doesnt feel completely resolute in her decision to split, but she feels more resolute when you arent around.

 

That does still mean that you are broken up and will most likely stay broken up. Shes taking every precaution that she can to keep things that way.

 

BB

[Love2share]

I can relate to what your ex is saying about not wanting to be friends due to fear that it will lead to something more. I felt the same way with my ex. I broke up with him almost 20 times within the year that we dated.

 

Each time, he would always apologize and persuade me into taking him back. And the very last time I broke up with him, I decided that I didn't want to see him or talk to him for fear that he would try to trap me in the relationship with him again. Yet despite everything that happed, I still loved him for a very long time after the break up.

 

Clearly, your ex wasn't happy with you. Otherwise, being captured in the relationship would be a good thing.

[anotherperson]

Well, to make the whole story make a little more sense, she's female and I am too. And what I think's happened -- because she was "straight" before we dated for the few years -- is that she wants to try to be straight again.

 

One of our mutual friends worded it thus: she's in love with a woman (she and I discussed marriage at one point), she's afraid of it and she doesn't want to be.

 

Blah. And I miss her a particular lot this morning with the first truly overcast sky of the year.

[faux]

Originally posted by anotherperson

So I just finished talking with the ex. This leads me to a question for all of you.

 

She believes that we shouldn't be close friends for awhile because she will end up back in the relationship -- not because she is still romantically attracted to me, but because I am "charismatic and persuasive" and I will make her think she wants something that she doesn't want.

 

What does everyone think of that? Do you think you can make someone feel things that aren't there to some degree already?

 

Yes. I do. When a person becomes confused, I find that a person becomes an easy target for outside suggestive thoughts. You should, of course, also consider the possibility that this woman is lying to you in an attempt to avoid hurting you.

 

It's odd. She said all that, but that she still loves me and thinks I'm beautiful. Just not romantically/sexually anymore. Anyway. I won't allow myself to babble on any further. Thoughts?

 

In other words, she is trying to let you down softly. This is a huge mistake that people in general tend to make when dealing with exes. What she ought to be telling you is precisely how she truly feels, and not lying to you to spare your feelings.

 

She has, I think, made it quite obvious that she is not interested in a friendship with you. It would probably be best to discontinue associating with her.

 

Seriously, though. Does it make any sense for YOU to tell a woman you find her beautiful and that you love her, yet NOT mean it romantically/sexually? So then, it does not make much sense for her to really mean what she is saying now, yes?