newmoon Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 your opinions welcome as i ponder this question... in a dating/romantic relationship is it possible to fall in love with someone you don't like?
soccerrprp Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 yes. love is not rational and people fall in love for all kinds of reasons that do not make sense. think about it...people say all the time that they love their SO, but are not happy with them for all kinds of other reasons. people do not like this or that or him or her, but for some reason they are greatly, emotionally attached to them. I believe yes. 1
TaraMaiden Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I dunno.... I DO know, however, that I don't always 'like' the people I love.... I think pretty much everyone I love has wound me up the wrong way for a while, and I haven't liked their behaviour. but as to falling in love with someone you don't like, I don't think so. There has to be a preliminary attraction, and a connection, a mutual admiration...you have to like what you see and engage with. I think you can lust after someone and believe it's love... but I don't think so - no. To answer your question...
Woggle Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Never happened to me and I fall out of love once I dislike a person.
TaraMaiden Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 yes. love is not rational and people fall in love for all kinds of reasons that do not make sense. think about it...people say all the time that they love their SO, but are not happy with them for all kinds of other reasons. people do not like this or that or him or her, but for some reason they are greatly, emotionally attached to them. I believe yes. The bolded part is different. They ALREADY love and met their SO, and now they don't like everything they do. The question is about beginning a loving relationship with someone you already don't like. How can anyone fall in love with someone they ALREADY don't like? I don't think it's possible at all. Lust - yes. love? Nope.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 A definite yes. You can fall "in love" with someone before you really even got to know them... Then you may realize there's many things you "like" about the person...set aside the emotional aspect of it. This happens all the time, people hold this "love" they feel and experience with someone, and place it on a pedestal and think it's absolutely the only thing that matters....only to realize there's much more to it than how you "feel" for someone to make it work in the long-term, or even be compatible...you may find yourself not liking much about the person when you view them objectively and even liking them only because of your emotions...it's just hard to accept the fact that you don't like them...even though they show you in their actions that you don't like what they do and possibly who they are as people...to truly love someone you have to be able to love them as a whole, and more importantly be able to live with it yourself. 1
TaraMaiden Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Either people aren't getting the question, or maybe I'm not getting the right sense. Does the OP mean - "Can you fall in love with someone you actually don't like very much?" or does the OP mean - "Can you fall in love with someone you can't possibly like because you don't know them well enough to like (or dislike!) them?" As the question stands, it could be taken both ways. I confess, I immediately took it the first way. Most seem to have taken it the second..... And I can see how both senses could be construed....
Author newmoon Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 Either people aren't getting the question, or maybe I'm not getting the right sense. Does the OP mean - "Can you fall in love with someone you actually don't like very much?" or does the OP mean - "Can you fall in love with someone you can't possibly like because you don't know them well enough to like (or dislike!) them?" As the question stands, it could be taken both ways. I confess, I immediately took it the first way. Most seem to have taken it the second..... And I can see how both senses could be construed.... i meant it as - "Can you fall in love with someone you actually don't like very much?" - but, someone you are already dating. you kinda said it yourself in an earlier post. you have people in your life that you love, but sometimes don't like. my family is like that for me :-) but i was wondering in terms of romance, is it possible to have love for someone you don't fundamentally like. Ninjainpajamas answered it pretty well i think
salparadise Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I think there are many types of attachments, as well as many definitions of love. There are even emotional addictions. My definition of healthy romantic love includes deep respect, admiration and affection, and I can't imagine having those feelings for a person and not liking them. So I think love and like necessarily go hand in hand. This isn't the same as lusting, desire to conquer or possess, emotional addiction, or sexual attraction independent of affection. Those can exist separately.
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