carhill Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 According to the 2010 US census, there are 41,787,000 female residents over the age of 55. Fertility and pregnancy are a thing of the past for them. Interestingly, that's my age group
TheMeatloafJuggler Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Why are women so picky? No wonder they get married late now, cause they where looking for mr Perfect. I tend to find that unrealistic dating expectations are found in both men and women. However I also find that society and culture provide more checks and balances for men to understand their dating 'potential' much faster than most women do. Since men have do most of the chasing, most men learn very very fast where they stand with most women. I think this causes a lot of men to be jaded but also a lot of men to be realistic. I think a lot of women are picky because frankly the process does not require them to work as hard as men do. I think most women see making themselves attractive in their eyes ( makeup , getting nice clothes, smell nice, etc) as "working hard". The difference is I think women still get something out of that effort, even if a man doesn't show up, whereas man getting rejected, there is no real consolation.
SpiralOut Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Women are picky because we need to be. If I'm going to be with someone who expects regular sex from me, for the rest of my life, then I'm sorry but I damn well better be attracted to him. And if we're going to get married and have kids, then he'd better be a decent guy who will be a good husband and a good father. I dont' want someone cheating on me or leaving me, or driving me insane. 3
Sugarkane Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Ideally I don't want to be one if those people on the breakup forum who are pregnant and dumped. But the man is dating someone else. For some reason so many men just run. I've only met and know of one woman that has a son but has nothing to do with him, except Christmas. She willing gave up her child to her ex. He has to push her just to make her see The child once a year.
Frogwife Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I have a female friend (43) who has done online dating and recently met someone. I had to give her credit because she would pretty much do a coffee or drink date with anyone who emailed her, just to meet them and see what they were like in person. I am a lot more reserved as to who I actually meet in person. Anyway, she was giving a younger friend (age 27) advice on this younger friend's dating profile. She was going through this list of how to weed men out. First, do your profile in English (we are in France and are native English speakers). Fair enough, we all speak fluent French but it's nice to have someone who shares both languages. Then she said if the response was in English, but full of mistakes, to next him as well. And I'm thinking, with THAT criteria, I would be eliminated, too! I have advanced degrees, speak two foreign languages, own my own (small) business, own my own home but my written French is terrible. So by her criteria, I wouldn't be a quality date?? Then she was like, well my ex couldn't write very well in French... but French was his NATIVE LANGUAGE... big difference. Then she was listing other "musts" - must have a good job, must be a home owner, must blah blah blah...it's like, Do you ladies want to be single FOREVER??? I kept calling her out on this... like one man I am seeing rents a $3.5 million apartment in Paris (one of three homes) but he's a RENTER so he wouldn't count either?? I mean, what the EFF!! (and he's 5'4", also not on her list!) I am still baffled and irritated by this conversation. There is nothing wrong with having certain criteria and that criteria does change at different stages - I'm 44, I make my own money, I'm not looking to have any more children, so I don't need a provider, etc. I married my (unfortunately) soon-to-be-ex husband when I was 38 and he was a roofer who left school at 16 so on paper, he might not meet a long laundry list of requirements, but he was funny, bright, he made me laugh and we had many wonderful times together. If I were to have eliminated him, I would have missed out one someone who is still very special to me. It's all easier said than done for both men and women, but being OPEN to things we think we wouldn't want can be a wonderful thing! 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 It's because women of today are happier being 35 with 20 cats than being with a man they are not attracted to 5
Leigh 87 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 It's because women of today are happier being 35 with 20 cats than being with a man they are not attracted to I think women over estimated the level of attractiveness needed for them to be sexually into a guy. Less than hald the population even have a degree of any sort... Even lesser people are NOT obeses or overweight.... BY the time you find a man your age, who is educated, and who your really attracted to, you WILL have many, many cats. And no partner! Sometimes you gotta look at the statistics and odds of meeting a man with every attirbute you need! ......I education is your big thing, why not go for average looking men, who are really nice and you have chemistry with? ......As most people know, once you fall in love, the average person becomes very sexy to you.
KungFuJoe Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Why are women picky? Screw that. I'm the pickiest person I know..and I'm a man. 4
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I think women over estimated the level of attractiveness needed for them to be sexually into a guy. Less than hald the population even have a degree of any sort... Even lesser people are NOT obeses or overweight.... BY the time you find a man your age, who is educated, and who your really attracted to, you WILL have many, many cats. And no partner! Sometimes you gotta look at the statistics and odds of meeting a man with every attirbute you need! ......I education is your big thing, why not go for average looking men, who are really nice and you have chemistry with? ......As most people know, once you fall in love, the average person becomes very sexy to you. Because I did some soul searching and I am just not the relationship type. I have never wanted kids and only thought I wanted marriage because of my parents and society's pressure. I am just a loner by nature and am happiest by myself. Right now, my desire to get into a serious relationship is close to zero. I like sex and company sometimes, but that can be fulfilled with casual dating. I have always been like that. I find most people annoying. Relationships make me feel trapped and suffocated. I think I am just a free spirit and probably selfish too :/ 1
Leigh 87 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Because I did some soul searching and I am just not the relationship type. I have never wanted kids and only thought I wanted marriage because of my parents and society's pressure. I am just a loner by nature and am happiest by myself. Right now, my desire to get into a serious relationship is close to zero. I like sex and company sometimes, but that can be fulfilled with casual dating. I have always been like that. I find most people annoying. Relationships make me feel trapped and suffocated. I think I am just a free spirit and probably selfish too :/ Ohh I misunderstood your driving force behind your aversion to relationships... You did have one in the past few years, a year long one; how did you end up with a guy for that long? Were you too attached to leave sooner? Were you actually in love with him? It demonstrates a level of self awareness that you know you simply do better when your single. You honestly cannot envisige yourself being any happier in terms of contentment, if you had the right partner. Fair enough. I thought you were just very hard to please? You obviously are (nothing wrong with that) but you know, if you TRULY were maternal and made for relationships and having kids, I think you would have lowered you standards in order to have more men to pick from by now... If it really matterd to you ( to be in a relationship)
Leigh 87 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 What a shame: when I am in the part of Aus your in next, I was going to suggest we meet up for a coffee. Now I know you would probably find me annoying:( I am happy alone most of the time, but also like friends. What is that called? Being socially neutral? Loving people around you, but also loving being alone?
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Gender wars....oh, Gender wars -- who wins? One is crazy, the other is the ass end of a jackass. Who wins?, LOL, OK. Honestly, both sides have flaws. Both sides have their unworthy whores. Both sides have worthy people. My eldest brother is 6", and bald; but shredded and makes an effort: it shows with a billion women. My one athletic friend, likes big girls, so, does it matter? Some people care to make an effort, some don't. Some just like a certain type. Don't get me wrong, women have indeed become just as bad as men. Unfortunately, the era of Gents and Ladies, has nigh died. I have my preferences. My model friend Katie does too, but she was willing to go out with me. Unfortunately, I was with my cheater of an ex. Who though pretty to me and some others, wasn't a super hottie. She was 110lbs, D-cup. Nice butt, not great. Her other area was nice too(I'm sure now it puts a black hole to shame...make sure you're 300yrds away. LOL) Anyway...rambling aside; both sides are picky. Both settle. Let's just say, it is hard finding that right crazy lady to get with...and it is jusdt as hard for a woman to find the right jackass, you know? One who's further from being an *******.
sweetkiwi Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 It's not bad that people are pickier in general. I am pretty picky about the qualities I want in a man. Not physically but even that is getting a little more picky. Why should I settle for someone I can't see being good to me or our potential children?? Its terrible that some people would rather be with someone who is crap then just be alone. ESPECIALLY when children are involved. 3
Els Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) You must just be blind (literally or figuratively, take your pick), because men are every bit as picky as women are for relationships. You may think, "Oh, I'm less picky than all the women I know" - chances are you're just being blind again to the women whom men generally overlook and find undesirable. I have a female friend who is literally trying day and night to get a man - her only requirement is that he be employed and want to marry her so she can have a family with him. Trust me, that's waaaaay less than most men require. She's employed herself and quite skinny. (I'm also not advocating what she's doing. It's pretty sad.) Edited January 14, 2013 by Elswyth 3
Bristolius Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 To all the men wondering about this, I can see why you might not travel back in time to make your mother pickier, but wouldn't you want your daughter to be picky?
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 To all the men wondering about this, I can see why you might not travel back in time to make your mother pickier, but wouldn't you want your daughter to be picky? Actually, my mother married my father on the merit of him being a smart, and good and hard working man alone. Like really. He has nothing else. He's a dork and he's shy and a pushover. And he's REALLY short. But a really good man. And my mother accomplished a lot. She's very smart, smarter than my father. And she's not fat or hideous. Different time, different country. My sister would NEVER date a dude like my father. She needs a LOT more than those qualities. I love her to death, but it's the truth. Different times.
Author Friendless-Virgin Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 To all the men wondering about this, I can see why you might not travel back in time to make your mother pickier, but wouldn't you want your daughter to be picky? Women should be picky. It is what they are picky about that is the problem. They go for looks, even if they wont admitt it. Lonely ugly guys are creepy. Lonely hot men are mysterious cowboy types. If women would be picky about education. Well then it would be fair, cause men could work and attain it.
irc333 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 It's because women of today are happier being 35 with 20 cats than being with a man they are not attracted to To be honest, I think the women they THINK they aren't attracted to are attracted to these men....but turn them down because they feel they can find someone even MORE attractive than the person they are saying they aren't attracted to.
Bristolius Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Women should be picky. It is what they are picky about that is the problem. They go for looks, even if they wont admitt it. Lonely ugly guys are creepy. Lonely hot men are mysterious cowboy types. If women would be picky about education. Well then it would be fair, cause men could work and attain it. Seriously? Cowboys?
irc333 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Because I did some soul searching and I am just not the relationship type. I have never wanted kids and only thought I wanted marriage because of my parents and society's pressure. I am just a loner by nature and am happiest by myself. Right now, my desire to get into a serious relationship is close to zero. I like sex and company sometimes, but that can be fulfilled with casual dating. I have always been like that. I find most people annoying. Relationships make me feel trapped and suffocated. I think I am just a free spirit and probably selfish too :/ The problem....apathy. You find most people annoying? OR...do you find annoying people annoying? I just find what you described about yourself somewhat disturbing. You're a strapping example of what's wrong with a lot of people in the world today. Actually surprised that you admit to this (with your own photo next to your post....if that is you, right? lol) and say it with such apathy.
IT Geek Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 If women would be picky about education. Well then it would be fair, cause men could work and attain it. I have a Masters and have been accepted as a Doctoral Candidate at Georgia Tech. Education makes zero difference if you don't have looks.
Revolver Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) Because they can be. It's really that simple Plus they find a lower percentage of the male population attractive then vice versa. Much lower actually Edited January 14, 2013 by Revolver 1
Vercetti Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I would hope men would have better standards then skinny and puts out. For me a girl at least needs some artistic skill / class / bit of education ( doesn't have to be formal ) / stable job / respectable circle of friends. Only, girl could have all those things and simply have a few qualities that turn me off that sour the entire thing. Being picky is in no way exclusive to women, if anything its simply a trait of being confident and knowing what want / works for you. As for women having more options, considering I'm the one that decides if even knock on the gatekeepers door and given the amount of absolutely emotional clueless men...I really don't see the more options. What, women have their pick of weak willed scrubs that will fall for quick easy casual sex LMFAO seems I have that option as well. Turn down a one night stand and morph it into a year long love affair
monicaelise Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 The problem....apathy. You find most people annoying? OR...do you find annoying people annoying? I just find what you described about yourself somewhat disturbing. You're a strapping example of what's wrong with a lot of people in the world today. Actually surprised that you admit to this (with your own photo next to your post....if that is you, right? lol) and say it with such apathy. You know what's really wrong with people today, ...people who tell you what's wrong with the world today. They spend an awful lot of time passing judgment on otherwise normal people who just don't think and feel the way they do. I don't find people annoying, but I fully sympathize with an awful lot of ES's posts. Why would she think/pretend she wants someone she doesn't?? Why can't she be as picky as she damned well pleases? It's not like it's really any skin off of your nose. Is there a rule that says everyone should want to settle down with Prince Charming or his toady little counterpart and make a bunch of babies? What is so wrong about being cool with doing your own thing and hanging out with your cats? Why is this apathy? Why should she make herself care about the things you find important? She's not harming you or anyone else. To be honest, I think the women they THINK they aren't attracted to are attracted to these men....but turn them down because they feel they can find someone even MORE attractive than the person they are saying they aren't attracted to. To be honest, it doesn't appear you have any clue what women think or why they think it. 6
Revolver Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Misconception. See here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/367525-struggling-men-putting-women-false-pedestals How am I putting women on a pedastal and what does that have to do with my post? And I'm not "struggling" FYI Even then that post is literally just your opinion, not a fact
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