cotts1 Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 I'm 28 and found this amazing women (she's 26). It's only been a little over six months since we started dating but out of nowhere she just ended it. I'm so heartbroken and confused as to why. We got along so well and always had great times when we hung out. We would talk/text all day everyday. I've been in my fair share of past relationships and breakups. Never has one been more difficult than this one. After only 6 months I was so head over heels for her. When we first started dating she made it clear she didn't want to rush into a serious relationship. She had just gotten out of a long term relationship. I was fine with taking things slow and not being entirely exclusive. As the months went on we became very close and she acted like she wanted to have a serious relationship with me. I was falling in love with her and was more than happy to get more serious. So we started seeing each other more and more. We spent New Years together with some other friends and had a great night. Even broke our friends bathroom because we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Then...........BAM! Right after New Years for some reason, still unknown by me, she wanted nothing to do with me. I would call and text and she would respond vaguely or not respond at all. We finally talked after a few days of her avoiding me and she said crap like she just "wasn't that into it" and that I was coming on too strong. But that's such BS. I only came on as strong as she did. She won't tell me what exactly she "wasn't into". I know it wasn't the sex because she always raved about that. I know she's attracted to me. We have so many common interests. We have the same sense of humor, like the same music, sports, movies, etc. I just don't get it and I wish she would tell me what the problem is. I'm usually a pretty resilient guy when it comes to breakups but I just can't get over this one.
todreaminblue Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 I'm 28 and found this amazing women (she's 26). It's only been a little over six months since we started dating but out of nowhere she just ended it. I'm so heartbroken and confused as to why. We got along so well and always had great times when we hung out. We would talk/text all day everyday. I've been in my fair share of past relationships and breakups. Never has one been more difficult than this one. After only 6 months I was so head over heels for her. When we first started dating she made it clear she didn't want to rush into a serious relationship. She had just gotten out of a long term relationship. I was fine with taking things slow and not being entirely exclusive. As the months went on we became very close and she acted like she wanted to have a serious relationship with me. I was falling in love with her and was more than happy to get more serious. So we started seeing each other more and more. We spent New Years together with some other friends and had a great night. Even broke our friends bathroom because we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Then...........BAM! Right after New Years for some reason, still unknown by me, she wanted nothing to do with me. I would call and text and she would respond vaguely or not respond at all. We finally talked after a few days of her avoiding me and she said crap like she just "wasn't that into it" and that I was coming on too strong. But that's such BS. I only came on as strong as she did. She won't tell me what exactly she "wasn't into". I know it wasn't the sex because she always raved about that. I know she's attracted to me. We have so many common interests. We have the same sense of humor, like the same music, sports, movies, etc. I just don't get it and I wish she would tell me what the problem is. I'm usually a pretty resilient guy when it comes to breakups but I just can't get over this one. Unfortunately you wont know the truth unless she gives it to you straight, when someone says though they don't want an exclusive relationship and has had sex with you....that is a sign she is possibly dating others, a multi dater/casual sex who has found someone she feels more compatible with either sexually or emotionally more connected to someone else....sucks huh? Next time before you have sex make sure the relationship is exclusive, by having that chat casual sex partners tend to drift ...., you will have more chance of a relationship where it is mutual ...if you state what you expect desire and want from a relationship..dont take anything less than what you want for your future love life...dont bend or sway...stay true......best wishes...deb
RespectfullyAlone Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Sounds very much like my relationship that just ended. But my ex was talking marriage and all kinds of things. Having more kids -- she's got 3 of her own. And all this in 2 months of super intensity. It felt fast, but it felt right. Turns out she had another guy she didn't tell me about, and not even minutes after she had sent me a goodbye cold feet FB message, and asking me to not change her mind, this guy was back on her friends list and liking her posts. Nevermind that it took a further 2.5 days before I even knew about the FB msg, as I was overseas with my Dad. Cowardly, but she obviously couldn't even wait a few days until I got back home. So to me, your girls behaviour feels like she has another guy in the picture. Doesn't matter how great you were btw. Great sex, interests, everything, apparently all doesn't matter. She's got her eyes on someone else and must feel some level of guilt maybe towards you. Thus it's easier to just avoid you.
Author cotts1 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) I was aware we weren't officially exclusive. I certainly knew there must be someone else when she said she didn't want an exclusive relationship right away. I told her as long as you're honest I'm cool with it. After about a month of us hooking up she told me she had hooked up with someone else but she really regretted it. I forgave her and told her I appreciated her honesty. After that is when we really started to get closer. This made me think we were on the road to exclusivity and a serious relationship. One thing I didn't mention was that in December after 5 months of dating/hooking up I got her pregnant. Initially she didn't know what she wanted to do, she was very emotional. I told her I would support any decision she made. After a few days she decided to have an abortion. Everything was fine after and our relationship carried on as usual. I have found out she recently started seeing someone else. I just don't understand why it had to change what we had? Why would she tell me about a previous hook up but not another? She lied to me about seeing this guy, she tried to cover her tracks. I had to catch her in a lie for the truth to come out. I told her many times before as long as you're honest with me I don't care what you do. I tried to give her space and not come on too strong. I just can't understand why she would bother lying and trying to cover her tracks if she wanted to end it with me? Edited January 14, 2013 by cotts1
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