26y/ostudent Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 My girlfriend left me in May 2012. We are both 26 now and have a 3 year old daughter. Met in 2008 and she left her boyfriend of 4-5 years to be with me. I moved into her parents house after about a month. She was my first for everything. We found out that she was pregnant 4 months into the relationship. The time flew by and we was happy. 2009. After our daughter was born a former fling that I worked with lured me away. I made huge mistakes and ruined the trust of my gf. Told her that our relationship didn't feel strong enough and we felt more like friends than a couple. It was only a few weeks before we got back together and I thought we'd move past it. 2010 Everything was great again for about a year. I had a new job that i enjoyed quite and met some cool people. One associate was a female and the only one to try to contact me outside of work. She was very pretty and my gf would not let me talk text or hangout even though I wouldn't unless she was involved. I started texting her anyway and hid the messages. At that time we had another guy living with us and other males coming over quite a bit. One night I came home from work and told her I'd be going to bed early and that she should come with. I waited for over an hour and ended up falling asleep. Wake up to find her hanging out with some guys, 1 being my brother, at 5 or 6 o'clock in the morning. I left her that day. After a couple of days a felt a lot of regret and got drunk outside of her house... Luckily she took me back. 2011 Halloween I blacked out and was lifting up her friend's costume dress. Also exposed myself to that friend and my gf's sister. I remember parts of this night and absolutely nothing during the last quarter. She left me for a couple weeks and we got back together. Leading up to the final breakup we were growing distant. I expressed my feelings and she blew it off because we spent a lot of time together. At the same time her mother's new marijuana dealer was coming around a lot just to hang out. My gf became very friendly very fast. I grew jealous and it caused agruements. 5 days before the breakup we talked. I was unemployed at the time and it was a problem for her as was the jealousy. Told me if it kept up she'd leave me. I expressed the distance I was feeling and she said we'd spend time together that weekend. We didn't get the chance. Her friends came over. She was to tired. Finally on Monday she promised... instead she hung out with the dealer, his aunt and her parents. I was incredibly hurt. Told me that I needed to get over it and calm down before she got back from walking dogs with them. I did this and when we talked she left me. She watched me cry like a child for what I imagined as an eternity. She dropped me off at my grandmother's house because of how upset I was. Depression doesn't seem like a strong enough word. I knew that me getting a job could bring us back together so I started filling out applications. After few weeks we started talking and hanging out. I love you and even sex. This lasted almost a month. I wasn't having any luck finding a job. I discovered she was writing a guy. I asked about him and learned he was just a friend. She even pushed me to read the messages, I denied that opportunity. She told me she would never be with him because of his drug habits and showed me his messages where he had stated he abused multiple drugs. After a full month of everything looking up it did a 180°. She didn't believe that I was even trying to look for a job. Told me that she didn't believe that I actually loved her. A week later she was officially with this drug addict. I harassed her and invaded her privacy for a while. She ended up blocking my phone number and changing her passwords. After awhile of NC she started to pick up our daughter on a regular basis and chat with me. I constantly told her how I felt about her and my urge for us to be a family again. She still cares for me and says there is always a possibility for us in the future. It's been 9 months since she left me. Missed birthdays holidays and family events. I have a girlfriend now but I can't get serious with the feelings I have for my ex. I've hated every minimum wage job I've had so i'm going to school now. I've wrote her some nasty messages after New Years and deleted her family and blocked her on Facebook. Still making mistakes. I'm not sure why I wrote all this out. Guess I'm wondering if it's even worth being with her still. Feel like I've caused to much damage and she isn't being truthful about her feelings for me. One last thing. I'm sending a link to this post to her. Doubt she'll comment but I know i'll get some negative feedback from her and ill post about it if there is anyone interested.
Happypuppy Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Rather than her having lost all her feelings towards you, it might just be a case of her being sick of the situation you are in. Sick of "all the drama". I'd say that you need to break up with your girlfriend (so you don't hurt her as bad as you are hurting yourself right now) and just let things calm down. Focus your energy on to yourself; work on your studies, and your own personal stuff. Try to let things go. The past is the past, and if something was to happen between you, it's the start of a whole new relationship. Let her have a breather and maybe she'll realize what she really wants. Don't really see why you would send her a link to this post but ok. You don't want to become creepy, in regards to those nasty messages and stuffing your misery in her face. You two are not together for now, and she therefore has no responsibility for your feelings. YOU have!
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