Thatguy80 Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Hey all. I've found myself stuck in a little delimma. I'm not really sure how to go about this without causing issues in my relationship. I've been with my girlfriend ~6 months. We really seem to go together great, and it feels very right. In person, we have no issues at all. When we do get together we spend countless hours together where neither of us want to end the day. We're a very affectionate couple, pretty open about serious things and will play like two little kids. It's been great. The problem I run into is that she has a close group of friends which she spends a lot more time with than me. When they are not together, they are constantly texting her to the point ive had her silence her phone before. Now I do like her friends, they are very good people, but they can get very annoying when they interrupt our time together as she'll always constantly respond back to them if her phone is on. They see her 3-4 days a week already and I see her usually 2 times at most. I really don't know how to deal with this. I'm actually starting to think fairly seriously about her and would like to spend more time with her, but I don't want to come across as asking her to choose between me and her friends. That's not what I want, I want her to have time with friends but right now it's totally rediculous.. I've thought about maybe backing way off and giving her even more time with friends and seeing what she does, or maybe asking her outright if she's in a place in her life where a serious relationship is something she desires. I would guess she does by how she acts in person and she had flown me at her expense out to meet many family members over the holidays.
will1988 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 It seems like you all are getting serious, so I'd say have a heart to heart with her about how this is making you feel. Tell her you have no problem with her hanging out with her friends, but that you'd like her to text a lot less when you two are having "couple" time. If she starts getting defensive, try to reason with her.... I use this tactic with my gf, I just tell her to reverse the situation. Ask her how she would feel, and tell her to be honest, if you hung out with your friends more than with her and were then constantly texting them with her around?! That may do the trick. You need to make it clear to her though that you are not trying to seperate her from her friends. Because if you come off to strong about this it will make it seem like you are making her choose, and are being controlling. Generally this will cause problems. Good luck!
Balzac Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Is your couple time limited to weekends? Do the female posse girls have BFs? I've had to deal w this in my history. In undergrad, making travel plans w my lovely for long weekends & breaks. First trip they weren't vocal. Next time for planning rolled around, posse implored her to do a GF adventure. I was fine w that. Time elapsed, no plans by posse. My lovely then approached me, asked to join up w my group. OK, fine but sweetie~it's now a group and I'll make alone time but be prepared. [group was M/F about 5]. She was game, we all had a great time. She eventually did a posse trip, more than one actually but we as a couple did many more by ratio. It's a tough call on GFs. As guys we need them to have a tight GF network, it's often their best support when we have massive career time demand. I knew where my education/career was headed, I factored this in when encouraging, reinforcing her GFs. That being said, when it's couple time, I devote my full attention to her, no texting or taking calls. It's a way of clearly letting her know that I value time alone w her. I've made efforts to arrange dinners w GFs included, dates they are in process of getting to know. How old is this girl btw?
walfootrot2 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Dude those are her friends. Chances are they will still be there for her if your relationship with her does not work. When I am dating I let the woman I am seeing have all the time she needs for her friends. It is not good for a person IMO to get to wrapped up in the person they are dating to soon. 1
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