Doktor Awesome Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 (edited) Ok ex and I broke up in November. It was a long distance relationship. Though we still acted like a couple afterwards. Like we were still telling each other we love each other, that we wanted to be with each other and still getting pretty freaky on webcam. She even told her friends that she was not aure what we were. Then mid-December happened she was only talking to me on Facebook for the last 3 days the. She started asking me how much an Xbox would cost. She already had a ps3 and had no interest in it before and when I asked why she started getting defensive and did not want to tell me. She then said she met so done else the. I did not handle it well as I thought we were trying to work things out. She is now dating other guy as of the 20th of last month. I tried to stick around for a bit but she was acting emotionally distant to me. She would not talk lime she used to, regused to talk about certain things and was giving me one word answers. She did admit she still has feelings for me and she still wants to be with me but she is too hurt to want to continue and that she has new feelings. The reason she is hurt was because I did not go up and she here due to being scared of driving up. I was suffering from some bad anxiety and trying to get help for that in fact I was put on meds for it. The other reason was because she was planning on moving down soon and we were originally planning on moving in and I did not act excited. Later I tried to back out as I was going back to school this September and would not be making money and she still wanted o move in despite that. I was scared she would resent me if I was not making money. This Thought process was also caused by my anxiety. She knows this now and she knows I am trying to fix my anxiety. She was constantly trying o get me to get help but I never did till his happened. We ceased contact on the second of January. I tried to end it earlier but she told me she was too depressed to talk about that. In fact I tried I end on January 2nd as well and was told the same thing. It was half an hour after she got the flowers I bought for her birthday (ordered before this stuff happened) and she said they were pretty and then she went silent. The she said she wanted to cease contact which I replied with so what I was trying to do earlier. I asked why and all she would say was just because and refused to elaborate. She has removed from Facebook in her words for her sanity. Probably so she is not tempted to message me. I am not sure if I hold move on or try to get her back. I know right now is too early to try. I am hoping new guy is a rebound. Not sure if I should message her in a month as well or just wait for her to message me. Like if I message her it won't be anything heavy just something to put my foot in the door to start communicating again as she was not just my girlfriend but my best friend. Edit forgot to mention new guy also lives in the same city as me so she went to a new long distance relationship. Edited January 13, 2013 by Doktor Awesome
Vizzlemeister Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 you shouldnt of sent her flowers! what you have to do if she dumped you is to make her chase you! dont respond to every txt, but if you do wait atleast an hour. and dont anwser her calls! make her chase you dude. but you need to try and move on to better your chances so if you dont get her back then atleast you moved on
Author Doktor Awesome Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 Well the flowers were bought way back in November. Her birthday was on December 31. I warned her after this stuff happened as originally they were supposed to be a surprise. She asked if I cold cancel them and I told her I could not as I already paid for them. I did decide I am not putting all my eggs in one basket. I am going to try to find someone else if I feel like she won't come back. Just that she is giving me so many mixed signals about this before we ceased contact. if I meet someone during this I will pursue them. Just not ready right now to actively pursue someone else right now I decided what my text will be next month if I don't hear from her. "I know you may not be ready to talk yet but I just wanted to say the meds are working and I am getting better. Thank you for trying to push me to get help. I hope you are doing well! :)"
Vizzlemeister Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Dude never text her first. Me and my ex have broke up three times and I always get her back by moving on and not caring then she comes crying back to me then I make her work for it. It takes months man
Author Doktor Awesome Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 This is technically the third time we broke up. First time was for a week then she came back. Second time we broke up and started a friends with benefits relationship then after a month or 2 she came back. This is the first time she has started dating someone else in this time hence why I am a bit more worried and she was saying stuff like it is too late. We only had no contact for a couple of days the other times. The text was planned to be a one time thing and if she did not reply I was not going to send another. I was debating on including a dont have to reply if you aren't ready.
LostOne1 Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Dude never text her first. Me and my ex have broke up three times and I always get her back by moving on and not caring then she comes crying back to me then I make her work for it. It takes months man Can you provide more details? how many months and do you go total NC? Mines has not gotten back to me at all. 6 months BU and 2-3 months NC now. I crashed into her at school a week ago. She just turned her head away after she saw me. I made eye contact and then ignored her. I haven't seen her since 6 months ago till last week.
Author Doktor Awesome Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 Some friends recommended the contact in a month thing to me. I might still wait a month even if she contacts me soon. Also apparently she was reluctant to tell me cause she did not want to hurt my feelings. Honestly hiding the fact you want to be with someone else kinda hurt more. She also never told me she was hurt till after this happened. She was constantly trying to get me to talk about my feelings but she hid her feelings from me. She only knew the guy a week before deciding she liked him enough to start a relationship. He has no cell or webcam and they only chatted on Facebook. Honestly except for my anxiety preventing stuff and the recent drama it was a pretty good relationship. She does want to be a part of my life apparently. Just not right now.
Author Doktor Awesome Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 Honestly the hardest part is knowing she dropped me for a guy she knew a week when it took me almost a month to win her over. Plus they were only chatting on Facebook chat while I had to be talking on webcam, texting, and Facebook chat. No contact is getting harder. Has only been 12 days.
Author Doktor Awesome Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 She just messaged me today saying she broke up with new dude. I told her I needed more time. How long should I wait before messaging her?
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