andytenshi Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 I seem to have the highest desire for a relationship right after one has ended. eventually I get to a point where I'm not so concerned and the loneliness doesn't really bother me. really looking forward to that point. I'm tired of being so focused on what I don't have.
Kite Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 I am the exact same. I can't wait to just be happy to be single. I will know that I am ready to date when I no longer care whether i am in a relationship or not.
Author andytenshi Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 Yea, I really want to be there now. I had a 3 day weekend and it was aweful. I broke nc via fb message trying again to be friendly like nothing bad happened of course got no reply and now I feel like a tool. Spent nearly the entire weekend watching shows on netflix and sending out tons of messages on dating sites just trying to distract myself. Now I'm going back to work today. I'm looking forward to having something to do, but I'm sure ill see her too so I'm dreading that.
Mcnulty Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Oh, to have the option of being single or dating. Having an ongoing illness has put me on the shelf. Big operation in a month, then a month of rehabilatation, maybe in March I will have that choice and think, it's okay being single, but at the mo, it's friggin lonely living in limbo land!
stevie_23 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 When my ex first left me, after the first initial time of shock and trying desperately to keep him with me, I then wanted immediately to be with someone else and looked at online dating sites and even “sugar daddy” sites (because my ex was 27 years older than me, and I wanted someone new but who was EXACTLY like him). Now, I’ve kind of eased off on that. I realised I only wanted him. I don’t care about being single or in a couple, I just wanted HIM. And even if I COULD find someone else who was sufficiently similar, I’d just end up with all the same problems I had before.
RespectfullyAlone Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I want a nice wife, children, a partner in life... a friend! My ex was the one I wanted all these things with. Yes there are many fish in the sea, but not all are ones you want some, one or any of the above with. I wanted it all. Fear of aging and being alone is very real. I'm not 21 anymore, I can't just get over this, pretend it doesn't mean anything and keep on trucking. It felt like it may have been maybe my last and best chance of ever having these things.
Sarahbee Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Don't worry, you will get there! I'm finally there after 4 months and it feels such a relief to be blase about him now! I'm glad I broke up with him because even though I didn't want to and it hurt me a lot, I know it would have ultimately been more painful to stay in an ldr with an emotionally unavailable man - I have no doubt that I did the right thing. I stumbled across one of his emails today and my reaction to that was telling - I read it and it had no affect on me at all, I just thought he's an idiot! Even a month ago I couldn't have read it without feeling sad and missing him. But the best thing is that not only am I indifferent to him, I'm also indifferent to finding someone else. Yes it would be nice, but I certainly won't be settle for the first man that comes along (unless he happens to be awesome!), and I'm quite happy to be single and my life is fun! Hang in there, you will get through this and come out the other side!
justinje Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I'm there right with you. My and my ex broke up a month and a half ago, we had met online and I almost immediately went back on the site and started sending out messages. I actually have a date tonight with the one person I met there. I'm not in the initial anxiety ridden panick phase of the break-up but I definately am still reeling alittle from it. Before the relationship I was fine by myself, I didn't need a gf, I had a successful career I was working hard on. I was seeing friends/family when I could. I had my own apartment. Now I feel like I need someone to talk to every night, to tell about my day. But I know that's not going to happen. The only thing I can tell you that I did recently was start over loading your schedule. I have things pre-planned almost every night, I'm starting back at the gym, I have work, heck I even scheduled a 3 day trip to Georgia to see a buddy and go to the playoff game this weekend on a whim! Doing these things is starting to remind me that there is life outside of relationships. Best of luck!
Onionator Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I can relate to Justin 100%...it just feels weird not having THAT person that was always there for you. For the past 6 years she would be there for me to talk to and confide in at the end of the night and I didn't anyone else because I'm very intraverted in that way (very social but I need to trust someone before I open up to them). Now that she's gone from my life I'm just trying to find anyone that can take her place because I've forgotten what it feels like to be happy alone. Hopefully that can come back to me sometime soon.
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