Mr.White Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 So today my parents have to come home to find out that my ex has left my clothes outside my front door. I checked my phone and she texted me to let me know that she left the stuff at my door, and then I got a call from an unknown number an hour later. I had to find out at work when my dad came to visit. Pretty ****ty and worst of all it was only stuff. I honestly would have thought there would have been a letter or something. My father told me I should at least thank her for giving my stuff back. Honestly this hurts a lot, I am pretty ****ing pissed too.
Author Mr.White Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 When we broke up she offered to be friends. I told her no, but then she made me promise to try to be friends. Should I include possibly being friends in the future in the message? I do want to be friends, but currently I still have a small spark for her. It is surely dying but I truly know it still exist and I do not want to add fuel (My ex) to the spark and ignite a fireball of emotions. Opinions and advice is welcome!
dreamingoftigers Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 It's a pretty cut and dry message. Put the spark out of its misery. Douse it.
Author Mr.White Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 It's a pretty cut and dry message. Put the spark out of its misery. Douse it. I feel like it is already dying, and today was the final test and it passed signaling that my feelings for her are almost non existent. This of course could be just right now but ever since I have gone out with friends, meeting new people and experiencing life it has helped me move on so much. 1
dreamingoftigers Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 That's generally how it works. At least you don't have to go through an awkward "get your stuff back" ritual.
TaraMaiden Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Mr. White, the message is pretty unequivocal. You could - if you really wanted to - text a simple "thanks" but to be honest, there's little point doing anything, except accepting it all and moving on. I have nothing any better for you, because really, I'd only be repeating myself, and telling you stuff you already know. It hurts - of course it does, but if she ever tries to re-establish contact, this will make it even easier for you to ignore it. This is the full-stop at the end of the last sentence. Time to write a new book. Be well. 2
Author Mr.White Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 That's generally how it works. At least you don't have to go through an awkward "get your stuff back" ritual. Than you for your input. It is appreciated Mr. White, the message is pretty unequivocal. You could - if you really wanted to - text a simple "thanks" but to be honest, there's little point doing anything, except accepting it all and moving on. I have nothing any better for you, because really, I'd only be repeating myself, and telling you stuff you already know. It hurts - of course it does, but if she ever tries to re-establish contact, this will make it even easier for you to ignore it. This is the full-stop at the end of the last sentence. Time to write a new book. Be well. Thank you for your advice again TaraMaiden. I no longer need advice on this thread, though for the future for anyone who needs this advice I believe a simple thank you to your ex will suffice if you both ended on decent or good terms as the ex did not have to return anything. 1
TaraMaiden Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Remember, Dumpers don't do things for you - they do things for themselves. I don't believe this was a case of - "Oh, bless.... maybe he needs this stuff now - I'll get it back to him, that will make him happier....." B/S. What they really think is - "Ok, done and dusted, it's over! I really don't want all his stuff here as a reminder, to clutter up my space - out of sight is out of mind, and this draws a line under everything. He can have his stuff back, I don't want it here getting in my way and acting as a reminder for a second longer!" She bagged and dropped it off to you, because it's what she wanted to do - for herself, not for you. She wasn't prepared to wait until you asked for it - and given that you've been broken up nearly a month, she figured you weren't going to ask for it any time soon, so she pre-empted that and took the initiative. Now? Now you have no reason to be a part of her life any more.... It's a harsh fact, and sadly, one you have to process.... but at least you do have your stuff back, intact, in one piece, and with no effort..... 1
Author Mr.White Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 Remember, Dumpers don't do things for you - they do things for themselves. I don't believe this was a case of - "Oh, bless.... maybe he needs this stuff now - I'll get it back to him, that will make him happier....." B/S. What they really think is - "Ok, done and dusted, it's over! I really don't want all his stuff here as a reminder, to clutter up my space - out of sight is out of mind, and this draws a line under everything. He can have his stuff back, I don't want it here getting in my way and acting as a reminder for a second longer!" She bagged and dropped it off to you, because it's what she wanted to do - for herself, not for you. She wasn't prepared to wait until you asked for it - and given that you've been broken up nearly a month, she figured you weren't going to ask for it any time soon, so she pre-empted that and took the initiative. Now? Now you have no reason to be a part of her life any more.... It's a harsh fact, and sadly, one you have to process.... but at least you do have your stuff back, intact, in one piece, and with no effort..... Yeah, I assume this was after she had seen me delete all of the pictures we had online and after I un followed her on Twitter this week. I actually can back up your words when you said "Because of your youth it is much easier to fall out of love". I am actually amazed at what I thought was so strong was actually something so shallow. Thanks for all your advice TM, I am glad I did not send any dumb message that I intended!
Author Mr.White Posted January 17, 2013 Author Posted January 17, 2013 Oh yeah I already sent her the text a few days ago, I said "Thank you. Maybe we can be friends in the future" I just wanted your opinion TM. I felt like this was justified because when she offered friendship at the break up I said no immediately. I am not sure if I could be friends with her at this moment the feelings are still fading but sure as hell still there, but possibly in the future I can.
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