irene408 Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 I moved back to be with him and he dumped me 2 weeks later because of fundamental issues we just couldn't work on. That was 25 days ago. I tried to stick to the NC rule during Christmas and he texted me a week after the breakup because we had agreed to see a show together and he asked me if i was still going. I got weak and texted him on NYE then again the next day asking him if he wanted to meet up. He agreed to having drinks. After drinks he asked me if I would go to dinner with him so we went to dinner. Everything seemed fine and he said he was glad it wasn't as awkward as he expected. 3 days later he texted me saying he would like to talk to me in a few days about "the path he's on". I agreed then I never heard from him. The last time I texted him was 3 days ago telling him the tickets for the show we were going to see were all sold out. I guess I'm going back to the beginning of NC so I'm on day 3. I had written a letter pouring my heart out to him and plan to give it to him 2 weeks from now. But with sticking to NC, I want to see how I really feel 2 weeks from today. With NC and low connect I'm realizing I don't want him back as strongly as I did before. But it's still hard. I get good days and bad days. I no longer sit on the couch and cry as soon as I wake up but I do have weak moments. I really hope it gets better soon.
Missing Him Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 You're going to have weak moments for a long time, but what you'll come to find is that those weak moments are fewer and further between. One thing that was really interesting for me is that immediately after the breakup, and I would say for a few weeks after, every thought was about him. No matter what I was doing or who I was talking to, I was thinking about my ex. Now as time goes on, I realize that while I still think about him a lot, there are moments where I will realize that I went for a period of time during the day without thinking about him. THOSE moments will then become more and more and it will get much easier. I'm sorry that you're going through this , but stay strong!
soccerrprp Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Irene, It sounds like it is getting better. Really, though, it's either NC or it's not. You can't do both LC and NC....LC IS contact. He dumped you after moving closer to him. You made some sacrifices and it seems he wasn't willing or both, to work them out. Now the NC from him and you're the one in a mess about contacting him. Move on. Hold on to the letter. Just writing it w/o sending it can be therapeutic. Good luck.
loversquarrel Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 That sucks, I hope you feel better sooner than later. Sounds like he's not really minding the NC.....It wasn't right nor very respectful for him to put it out there that he would like to talk and then not bother to contact you. Personally, I'd be b*llsh*t.
Author irene408 Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 It's killing me that he's not minding the NC. But what can I do other than to keep the NC going myself, right?
Author irene408 Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 You're going to have weak moments for a long time, but what you'll come to find is that those weak moments are fewer and further between. One thing that was really interesting for me is that immediately after the breakup, and I would say for a few weeks after, every thought was about him. No matter what I was doing or who I was talking to, I was thinking about my ex. Now as time goes on, I realize that while I still think about him a lot, there are moments where I will realize that I went for a period of time during the day without thinking about him. THOSE moments will then become more and more and it will get much easier. I'm sorry that you're going through this , but stay strong! That is exactly how I feel right now!! Every thought is about him. He's the first thing I think of as soon as I wake up and the last thing before I go to sleep. But I do noticed that now I'm seeing signs/facts that we really weren't a good fit. I'm in the process of writing it all down so I can go back to that list when I have a weak moment.
Author irene408 Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 Irene, It sounds like it is getting better. Really, though, it's either NC or it's not. You can't do both LC and NC....LC IS contact. He dumped you after moving closer to him. You made some sacrifices and it seems he wasn't willing or both, to work them out. Now the NC from him and you're the one in a mess about contacting him. Move on. Hold on to the letter. Just writing it w/o sending it can be therapeutic. Good luck. The biggest reason why I still want to work on the relationship is because we agreed to try to work it out but he dumped me literally when we were on our way. We thought it was too much too fast and we needed our own space so I was moving to my brother's place and he dumped me on the way. I've decided to stick with NC now. And the letter.. who knows. Maybe in 2 weeks I won't feel like wanting him back anymore.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Argh hurts most when you give it ur all to work it out and the give up!!!! then your left feeling like complete ****ttt! why did they give up! I'm So sorry that u moved just to be with him! He moved here then went up to visit and never came back.... What did I do wrong????? ill never know! his selfish he says his comfortable up there. But e never spoke to me about it. We were long distance for 3 years!!!! Finally we were together. But he gave it up.
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