Sex & Confusion

[Jms3]

How important is sex in maintaining a relationship?

 

I've been in a 7 year relationship that has always been headed towards marriage, but am finding myself questioning everything. Right now my feelings stem from a shift of what aspects I feel may be more important in a relationship. The lack of a satisfying sex life has in turn, caused me to reevaluate the other aspects of my relationship such as common interests, hobbies, ability to have deep conversations, etc. Sex never used to be my first priority but as I getolder and the relationship continues, I question whether I would have a better connection with someone else. On the other hand, if the sex was great, I don't think there would be an issue because we will always love each other, enjoy each others company, and get along.

 

If a good sex life never existed, how can it be created when there is a loss of connection and passion? Shouldn't it be natural and not forced? Or Is it something to work for? And if so, how do you get the connection back?

 

Is it belittling and selfish to end a relationship due to sex after 7 years?

 

Should other qualities be more important to consider? Is it selfish? Why do I have a sudden change of heart about how I feel towards needing good sex? What do I do about my relationship? If I give it time to work it out, when is enough, enough?

 

Any thoughts are appreciated! I'm all over the place!

Edited January 13, 2013 by Jms3
Make question more general

[bwilder]

You don't say what exactly is bad... whether it is the sex itself or a lack of sex or incompatibility... nonetheless... Have you talked to your partner about it? Why not go to a counselor/sex therapist, especially if everything else works.

[alicewonderland]

I feel sex is very important in a relationship; being emotionally and physicially complete with your partner. What has changed in the last 7 years that you need sex now? Were you having it before?