Mephisto94 Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Hey here, i need some advice on this situation. I was with this girl for 3 months. After 1,5 months, she was offered two jobs opportunities, one was in her city, the other was abroad during one full year. She decided to take the latter one eventhough it was less paid, and she told me that i was not supposed to wait for her, implying she didn't want to pursue our relation after she leaves. However she won't be that far (one hour of flight away) but still didn't seems interested in having a ldr with me : she will have a new life and she thinks she is not attached enough with me for enduring a 1 year ldr. I understood and didn't beg for it neither. One important thing : during our relation, she often sensed that i was more into her than she was into me, and it made her more prone to push me away. Our last days together were very melodramatic ! We fought, break-up but we ended spending our last nights together. I think she secretly hoped that i would cry at her departure, but i didn't. Now she left, it's real. We're no more together. But although she didn't want to pursue, she sought to keep in touch with me on every support : skype, phone, she texted me and so on. Well, i think she want the break-up to be the most smooth and easy as possible for her. She is new in her new country, she knows noone and i know that she needs me and use me as a moral support for the beginning of her trip. I answered her the first day and was still nice. But then second day i started to be cold and distant, i didn't add her on skype although i told her i would, i didn't initiate any contact, i show no emotion in my text and talked to her as a friend. I started NC 2 days ago (she left 4 days ago) but she texted me today to give me some news about her. I don't know if i should NC still and don't answer her text, or if i should answer something cold and common just that she doesn't think iam resentful but get the feeling that iam serene and pretty much over her. I think NC would be too brutal as i never told her i intended to stop contact. But i want her to miss me as much as possible and to regret her decision, if she doesn't, i want to get past her as quickly as possible. Thanks for reading.
juliabrookes Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 LDR are extremely hard. Unfortunately, you were unable to figure that out by experience. My best advice is based on my experience, I would stop talking to her. You can't continue a relationship with her if you expect more. She has already told you that she isn't attached to you. If, however, you want to be "just friends" then continue to interact. It is unfair for you to secretly be hoping that she will love you and want you. You are missing out on great life experiences by waiting for someone who doesn't want to be with you.
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