dontknowwhattodo Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 Someone sensitive please respond. I'm in pain because I'm in love with my fiance and another married man. I don't know what I'll do long term. I want to have a happy life with my fiance and have cute little babies. I don't know how I allowed myself to fall in love with someone else. Its so bad the other man has a 5 year old child too that I babysit!! And I love her to death. I see him almost every day. I talk to him every day. Someone sensitive and understanding please post. I know how stupid I've been. I don't want to ruin anyone's life either.
HokeyReligions Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 It is possible to be in love with more than one person at a time. That's no crime. Painful maybe, but nothing wrong with it. The problem is that one of the men is married, and you are contemplating marriage. Do not get married. It's not fair to you or the men involved. You won't have a happy life if you think that you love someone else. Does the MM know how you feel about him? Does he return your love? If he does, tell him to get a divorce before pursuing a relationship with you. Then you can date both men until you figure out who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Or, if one leaves you, you will know that he wasn't the one for you and can focus on the other.
Barby Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 It indeed isn't fair to anyone in the situation.....if you've actually been intimate in anyway with this married man then the situation is even worse. I don't know exactly what you should except be honest with the one you are in a relationship with, be honest with the friend who's child you babysit (the wife of this MM) come clean to all so that everyone can make a choice on what THEY should do in this situation, you don't want to ruin any lives so don't let the lies continue.
Author dontknowwhattodo Posted August 20, 2004 Author Posted August 20, 2004 We have been intimate. A lot. And everything in my life was great until I met him and then... bam.. over time I found him more and more interesting and i felt like he could understand me in a way no one else could. But before i met him I was perfectly happy!! I am very close to his whole family too..
Barby Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 So why don't both of you leave your current partners and start a life together? Be honest and maybe eventually things will work out.
Author dontknowwhattodo Posted August 20, 2004 Author Posted August 20, 2004 He said he would never leave his wife.. I know I love my Fiance too.. I mean. ITs a mess. horrible mess!
Quilly Posted August 21, 2004 Posted August 21, 2004 If he says he'll never leave his wife, then you need to accept that you're probably just the icing on his cake that only makes his life all the sweeter. Continuing in the relationship will only cause you more pain and grief. You need to break it off with him. If he decides he can't live without you and wants to leave his marriage, then so be it. In the meantime, you need to focus on getting your life back together and figuring out what is you want/need in a husband and whether or not your fiance is that person. Don't rush into a marriage you might later regret.
Author dontknowwhattodo Posted August 24, 2004 Author Posted August 24, 2004 I think you are so right. I wish I would have thought that way a long time ago. Its so hard too at times.. its so addicting - the situation I'm in. Thanks though Really. I have to do that. Or I will go insane..
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