lovelyinla Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 (edited) Long story short. I met this guy when I was a freshman in high school. By junior year we had built a turbulent on/off relationship of drugs, cheating and horrible fights. My parents finally decided to move me 60 miles away from him. 3 months later his parents moved 15 minutes away (my parents felt cursed). I was madly in love with him. And he with me. Shortly after 4 years of this insanity, I got pregnant. My pregnancy was awful. He was not emotionally supportive, he made everything difficult. My parents helped me with everything. Once our son was born he came every weekend to see him and has helped financially ever since. While our son was ages 1-7 we were still on/off as I was making weak attempts to move on with my life in every way. At 19 I finished High School. Shortly after, I enrolled in art school and got my BS degree. Fast forward to 2013. Our son is now almost 11 and he has been consistant with seeing our son the whole time. Five years ago I broke things off for the last time. I didn't sleep with him not even once after that. We got along better because I devoted myself to improving my character. During these 5 years I didn't date anyone. I focused on my family, son and career (which is going beyond well). Without any other guys in my life, it seems as if my love for him got stronger. Even though I knew he was dating other girls. I just could not get rid of my feelings for him. I wanted to get over him really BAD. Eventually, I confessed my feelings to him. He listened but just mentioned that he hadn't really been able to move on himself. Which I believed because he never really seemed to be in a serious relationship with someone else. This past December I got back into the dating scene. Nothing serious, just a few dinners. For Thanksgiving he asked to take our son. I agreed and jokingly said "Cool, I'll just go on a date instead." On Thanksgiving night he called me and made plans for a date the following weekend. We ended up going on a date and ended up sleeping together. And we have had sex multiple times a week. We have a lot of fun when we do hang out and I've slept over his place a few times. My family has no idea whatsoever. I feel in a good place to give this another shot. We are two improved people. I'm proud of who I've become and I could say the same about him. The problem is that he has not mentioned anything about us getting back together and I don't want to go back to point A. I worked so hard and now I'm feeling like he's just going to play with my feelings. I've now known him for almost 15 years. So at this point I'm just confused. And I'm wondering if I'm better at just cutting my losses before I get hurt and moving on. Super hard to do when you share such a history with someone and you have to see him every weekend. During the week he will text and ask how my day is. But no phone calls. I guess I would expect more by now. Yes, he is the love of my life. But I know that I can be in love with him and not do anything about it. I mean he would have to share a mutual feeling. Yesterday he texted me saying that he was leaving out of town for a meeting and coming back this Sunday. And ever since he said that I've felt uneasy. So much that I woke up at 4:30am debating as to whether I should just end this casually as possible. Super confused....I want to call him out. I want to ask him about where this is going. But at the same time I feel like I shouldn't have to. Ugh, what to do? Thanks for reading. Edited January 12, 2013 by lovelyinla
TaraMaiden Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Someone once said to me - "I hate your guts!!" I replied - "Yeah, me too... they're consistently, instinctively right - and they were, about you, too...." I was thinking you guys have moved on so much further since the old argumentative drug-fuelled days, and you have a young, pre-teen son, whom you both obviously have worked well to bring up.... So you must know this man very well now - and something doesn't sound right. I wouldn't perhaps dump and break - he is after all, still your son's dad, and you are, after all, going to still be seeing a lot of him. Other than that though - you aren't 'committed' to one another, and TbH, what he does is entirely his business.... if there is no emotional promise there.... he may just be enjoying things just for that sake - of enjoying things. You obviously have deeper thoughts of commitment, but if he's not on the same page, and has no idea where you stand, he's not deceiving you - but you are feeling deceived. It's not a question of going back to point A - but I do think your thoughts are on different levels. he really owes you nothing, if that doesn't sound too harsh.... you're joint parents of a son, and you take advantage of each others' company, by making out. Are you reading more into this, than he is? Well, yes.... probably. But does he deserve to be dropped like a brick because he may be a bit fickle, and you've said nothing, hitherto? Why complicate this?
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