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The First Kiss

the_entertainer1

By the_entertainer1
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the_entertainer1 Established Member

the_entertainer1

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I've been on 3 dates with this guy over the past week and a half and not one of these dates has ended with a kiss.

 

The first date was just coffee in the afternoon, a walk and then a beer. It ended up lasting 3 hours. The second date was dinner at an expensive restaurant (the bill was $150) and then we went to a dessert bar for a coffee. For the third date we went to a game and he had suggested (prior to the evening) that we go back to his place to "watch a movie". I was a bit uncomfortable when he mentioned this over the phone, and said I wanted to take things slowly and he didn't press the issue.

 

The main reason I was nervous about the idea of going back to his place is because I have very little dating experience. I haven't had a boyfriend before (this surprised him a lot), and have never even kissed a guy (I didn't tell him that! I'm just waiting for the right guy), so I wasn't sure what he'd 'expect'. I read all this stuff about the third date being the "sex date" and got a little freaked out, lol. Call me old-fashioned, but I want sex to be with someone special - with someone that I love and who I know loves me. (Anyway, I digress).

 

So we had the third date last Thursday night. I decided to drive to his place and we walked to the game from there - the idea was that I'd be able to see how I felt after the game and decide if I wanted to go in after (I assumed that's what he still wanted). We went to the game but he wasn't very chatty. I felt like I carried most of the conversation. The game ended up being pretty boring so he suggested leaving early; I thought he wanted us to go back to his place. We chatted fairly easily as we walked but when we got to my car he didn't invite me inside his place. He didn't ask me out again at the end of the date (as he did with the previous two), nor did he try to kiss me.

 

I didn't hear from him on the day after the date (Friday) so I assumed he'd lost interest, but today (Saturday) he messaged me, asking how my weekend was and saying he was free if I didn't have plans that night. I was busy and suggested we go see movie next week and he said "we could do that ... if you're lucky :-P “

 

Basically, here's my thoughts on his behaviour:

- When I didn't hear from him after the third date I thought he wasn't interested, but I assume he still is if he contacted me today.

- Maybe he's shy to kiss me (though he seems pretty confident)

- I had to tell him I hadn't had a boyfriend before, and I mentioned that I was a little nervous on our second date. Perhaps he's picking up on my nerves and has held back. (However, he's a 22 year old guy. I don't want to stereotype, as he seems mature for his age, but even so ...)

- he just doesn't like me (but why would he continue contact if this were the case?)

 

Basically, I'd like your thoughts about why he mightn't have kissed me yet, and what I can do so I can "tell" him I'm ok with kissing but still let him make the first move.

 

Thanks :)

Edited by the_entertainer1
skylark100 Established Member

skylark100

Posted
Posted
I've been on 3 dates with this guy over the past week and a half and not one of these dates has ended with a kiss.

 

The first date was just coffee in the afternoon, a walk and then a beer. It ended up lasting 3 hours. The second date was dinner at an expensive restaurant (the bill was $150) and then we went to a dessert bar for a coffee. For the third date we went to a game and he had suggested (prior to the evening) that we go back to his place to "watch a movie". I was a bit uncomfortable when he mentioned this over the phone, and said I wanted to take things slowly and he didn't press the issue.

 

The main reason I was nervous about the idea of going back to his place is because I have very little dating experience. I haven't had a boyfriend before (this surprised him a lot), and have never even kissed a guy (I didn't tell him that! I'm just waiting for the right guy), so I wasn't sure what he'd 'expect'. I read all this stuff about the third date being the "sex date" and got a little freaked out, lol. Call me old-fashioned, but I want sex to be with someone special - with someone that I love and who I know loves me. (Anyway, I digress).

 

So we had the third date last Thursday night. I decided to drive to his place and we walked to the game from there - the idea was that I'd be able to see how I felt after the game and decide if I wanted to go in after (I assumed that's what he still wanted). We went to the game but he wasn't very chatty. I felt like I carried most of the conversation. The game ended up being pretty boring so he suggested leaving early; I thought he wanted us to go back to his place. We chatted fairly easily as we walked but when we got to my car he didn't invite me inside his place. He didn't ask me out again at the end of the date (as he did with the previous two), nor did he try to kiss me.

 

I didn't hear from him on the day after the date (Friday) so I assumed he'd lost interest, but today (Saturday) he messaged me, asking how my weekend was and saying he was free if I didn't have plans that night. I was busy and suggested we go see movie next week and he said "we could do that ... if you're lucky :-P “

 

Basically, here's my thoughts on his behaviour:

- When I didn't hear from him after the third date I thought he wasn't interested, but I assume he still is if he contacted me today.

- Maybe he's shy to kiss me (though he seems pretty confident)

- I had to tell him I hadn't had a boyfriend before, and I mentioned that I was a little nervous on our second date. Perhaps he's picking up on my nerves and has held back. (However, he's a 22 year old guy. I don't want to stereotype, as he seems mature for his age, but even so ...)

- he just doesn't like me (but why would he continue contact if this were the case?)

 

Basically, I'd like your thoughts about why he mightn't have kissed me yet, and what I can do so I can "tell" him I'm ok with kissing but still let him make the first move.

 

Thanks :)

 

He probably has a few other options on the table right now, and he is evaluating them. Don't assume he likes/dislikes you, ask him...there is nothing wrong with being direct. Though his reply to going to the movies was pretty lame.

 

I would say he DOES have a casual interest in you, but probably nothing serious for the moment. I will say this, the majority of guys will not take a girl out 3 times unless they are interested to some extent.

 

Also there is no written rule that you need to have sex by the 3rd date. Where the heck does all this stuff come from? Reading this stuff on the internet only makes things worse. You can go at a pace that comfortable for you!

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