Teknoe Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 I was on my gmail about two hours ago, ready to sign off when an "old" church friend messaged me. This is a young lady who is the girlfriend of my old church buddy... my first church... the one I grew up in during my mid 20s. Fond memories. Anyway, she and I chatted for about 2 hours about lots of different things... from our current church struggles to wrestling with God and church-related hurts and disappointments. If you've seen my latest threads, you would know I am currently in a season of weeding some folks out, as well as on a break from church as I sort through some stuff. The chat with her was uplifting, timely, and ultimately, a divine appointment I believe. I had been avoiding logging onto FB for 3+ weeks now, and finally did after speaking with her. I guess I've become overly isolated, and I haven't been exercising balance too well lately. It's just work, home, games, movies, and all my social interaction right now is with my brother and his girlfriend (which is nice, but definitely different from "real friends"). And most of the time we're staring at a screen or quietly eating dinner... not really "quality interaction." Anyway, I'm 29 and praying for new social circle. Hopefully 2013 God will bring in some people that I can truly walk alongside of... as I do miss that tight-knittedness of my first church (before the drama unfolded, anyhow). I also pray I'll find a new church home, or maybe return to my "current" one. I really hope 2013 will be a great year. I think I'll take some time to heal from some wounds, but at some point in 2013 I'll be church hopping/hunting and looking to hopefully make some new similar-aged connections... or maybe revive some old ones, like with this girl and her BF. 7
Author Teknoe Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 PS- Honestly, the last 3 years I've been saved... I think I viewed God/church too much as a "dating source" or that this is where I'll find my future spouse through... definitely not a good thing and I became hurt because of my disillusions... I think it's actually a good thing now that I actually want to be single (for the year, at least). I hear it's when we don't look that others are attracted to us. I'm not doing this to pretend BTW, I genuinely WANT to be single this entire year. I think this "forget about the girls" mentality will help me grow in Christ as I can now go to church or focus on Him with the right heart and motives... rather than use this faith as a crutch when it is convenient and using it as sort of a love connection. being pretty truthful here at 3 AM lol... 3
OpenBook Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 I hear it's when we don't look that others are attracted to us. You said that right. This always makes me wonder if I'm my own worst enemy?? When I try too hard it doesn't work, but if I just go about my business everything tends to fall into place. I was OK the first time! Funny how that works. I think this "forget about the girls" mentality will help me grow in Christ as I can now go to church or focus on Him with the right heart and motives... rather than use this faith as a crutch when it is convenient and using it as sort of a love connection. hahaha "love connection" - although it does make perfect logical sense to go after that, after all He IS love. But you hit the nail on the head. This is one of the paradoxes of the Christian faith - the more you focus on Christ and leave self behind, the more the desires of your heart are fulfilled. Again, funny how that works! 1
pureinheart Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 PS- Honestly, the last 3 years I've been saved... I think I viewed God/church too much as a "dating source" or that this is where I'll find my future spouse through... definitely not a good thing and I became hurt because of my disillusions... I think it's actually a good thing now that I actually want to be single (for the year, at least). I hear it's when we don't look that others are attracted to us. I'm not doing this to pretend BTW, I genuinely WANT to be single this entire year. I think this "forget about the girls" mentality will help me grow in Christ as I can now go to church or focus on Him with the right heart and motives... rather than use this faith as a crutch when it is convenient and using it as sort of a love connection. being pretty truthful here at 3 AM lol... It is a good thing. In fact a friend and me were talking about this last night. He was telling me I need to find someone:confused: and that he was tired of being alone. I asked him what the motivating factors were for wanting a mate... the main one was needing help. The second one was wanting someone to do something with. He doesn't sound to me like he is into much commitment, it's just on really low levels. I think he will deceive whoever he finds into thinking there is more to the relationship than what it actually is for him...that is wrong IMO. For me, am waiting on God...or sort of waiting. Basically have made up my mind that relationships of that nature are not for me right now and not in the near future. There is too much "clean up" right now and I'm good with that:) I would suggest to submit yourself to the will of God, not His permissive will, but perfect will, as there is a big difference. Let His timeline be yours if you can...
BetheButterfly Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 PS- Honestly, the last 3 years I've been saved... I think I viewed God/church too much as a "dating source" or that this is where I'll find my future spouse through... definitely not a good thing and I became hurt because of my disillusions... I think it's actually a good thing now that I actually want to be single (for the year, at least). I hear it's when we don't look that others are attracted to us. I'm not doing this to pretend BTW, I genuinely WANT to be single this entire year. I think this "forget about the girls" mentality will help me grow in Christ as I can now go to church or focus on Him with the right heart and motives... rather than use this faith as a crutch when it is convenient and using it as sort of a love connection. being pretty truthful here at 3 AM lol... Understood, and I think a lot of single believers in God see God and/or church as a means to get what they want. I know how disappointed I was when the guy I liked at my church (where I grew a lot spiritually before I moved) just saw me as his little sister and not as his "where have you been all my life?" lady. Now though, I see why he is not the man for me, yet my husband is!!! :love: God knew that of course. My awesome mentor, a wonderful lady who God rescued from drugs, told me that if leaving the church and going to another church would help, that is ok. Churches consist of like-minded believers meeting together to praise God, learn more about Him, pray with and supporting other believers, and help those in need along with other believers. If one is not experiencing that in one church, it is ok to go to another where one does experience the above. I agree that being single for a time and just trusting in God, as well as getting out there and meeting people just for caring about them, is very healthy and is a great way to prepare for the right time and the right person for you! Praying for you and please enjoy each moment of life!!! Life is precious and short, and is beautiful when people love and care for each other and love and care for other life forms, such as animals and plants.
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