Sunshine87 Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 (edited) I've been in NC for 2 weeks. It seems to be getting harder. For the past 5 days, I've been making up in the middle of the night. (Unable to have interrupted sleep). I fall asleep but while asleep, my heart beats a bit faster. When I wake up, I feel so sad; as if I'm having a mild panic attack. I can't explain this feeling. I thought NC was supposed to get easier as the days go by? Day 1-8 went fine! I was happy and strong. But now I seem to be deteriorating! Why? My story is a bit different because I wasn't "techinically dumped". I had to walk away because I was tired of being put in the back burner. I told him to stop contacting me even though he tried to talk me out cutting contact. But really I am the dumpee because I'm the more vulnerable party and I had more feelings for him than he did for me. I walked away because I was hurting too bad. I guess a small part of me hoped that he would "fight" for me or contact me even though I told him not to. As the days go by, it reinforces that we are done. He didn't fight for me or contact me. It hurts. Why is NC getting more difficult? Do you reckon itld get easier after 3weeks? I wish I could receive counselling or therapy but in my country (somewhere in Africa), we don't really have institutions dedicated to emotional wellbeing of people. In other words, no professional counsellors or therapists! It sucks! Edited January 12, 2013 by Sunshine87
Million.to.1 Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 There is really no specific time. It's different for everyone. You'll have good days and bad days... good stretches and bad ones... as as time goes on, there will be less bad and more good. Just stay strong and committed to your NC and know that it will get easier. Keep busy and look after yourself. Distract yourself by making other timelines to follow. Exercise and diet changes can be great for this. Go to YOGA. Everyday if you can.
th90 Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 (edited) It's absolutely normal. During my first few weeks of NC I constantly woke up to check my phone in the middle of the night. It will pass. With time, you'll stop expecting your ex to contact you. Now, everytime you feel 'suffocated' by NC, think about why you initiated it in the first place. Do other things to distract yourself. Also you can calm yourself down by taking deep breaths and pray if you believe in God. Edited January 12, 2013 by th90
MyAngel Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 NC for almost 5 weeks. I have good days and bad days. I'm assuming it will be this way for a while although I hate the thought of me saying "it's 15 weeks nc, I miss her" ugh, if I am still wallowing in 3 months time, please someone slap me! Take the days as they come. Embrace the good. Work through the bad. Eventually there will be more good than bad.
cavalier99 Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 "ugh, if I am still wallowing in 3 months time, please someone slap me! Take the days as they come. Embrace the good. Work through the bad. Eventually there will be more good than bad. Man I'm almost 15 weeks NC. Somebody please slap the sh*t out of me!! Lol Well it was a 8 year relationship. If I'm still wallowing at 6-9 months somebody needs to just kick me in the balls while slapping me. :lmao: 1
jovan Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 you guys are scaring me!!! Am in my first week of pure NC and its horrible! Did you guys at least make any progress?
Lasatra Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 I didn't feel bad when it was over, I was feeling happy and ****, I drunk a lot and laughed with my friends but when the day pasts I felt more and more horrible and when I wanted to get her back it was like she was already over me.. you'll get through!!
Author Sunshine87 Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 you guys are scaring me!!! Am in my first week of pure NC and its horrible! Did you guys at least make any progress? Thanks for your input everyone. Really appreciate it. My moods tend to fluctuate. Sometimes I feel okay, other times I'm down. A few minutes ago, I was so tempted to break NC lol but held myself back. Wow, this has to be one of the toughest times I've had to exercise self control or self restraint! Jovan don't panic lol. I have made a lot of progress but I need more time to be completely over him. How long was your relationship? I reckon that a long term relationship would take more time to get over.
MyAngel Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Hehe Cav!! Knowing me I will still be wallowing at 15 weeks omg.... How is this my life? I hate, hate, hate that I'm here talking about this and still crying and being a pathetic stupid girl while I am POSITIVE that this is not happening on the other end!! Ugh. Hate that!! Makes me want to move on quicker I only I could get this out of my mind and stop thinking of all the good stuff :/
Missing Him Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 A part of the reason that you might be feeling badly is because you're still hoping for him to contact you and reconcile, when your goal should be moving forward without him and focusing on yourself. The thing that I've found that helps me is repeating to myself: "Focus on you, don't focus on him. He's already focusing on him." I know that it sounds dumb but it helps me refocus and it helps me remember that I'm doing this for me and not for "us" or "our future relationship." Good luck! No matter what, it DOES get easier. 1
cavalier99 Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Hehe Cav!! Knowing me I will still be wallowing at 15 weeks omg.... How is this my life? I hate, hate, hate that I'm here talking about this and still crying and being a pathetic stupid girl while I am POSITIVE that this is not happening on the other end!! Ugh. Hate that!! Makes me want to move on quicker I only I could get this out of my mind and stop thinking of all the good stuff :/ It does get better. Promise. Im a ton better than early on. The 1st 3 weeks were pure hell. Then I had thread i posted a 6 weeks NC were i broke down and cried..but that seemed to be a turning point. Now it isn't nearly as bad as early on. I'm just not a 100 percent there yet but life is bearable. Just cant get her completely out of my head. She is like an mosquito that is pestering me in my brain that i need to constantly swat away. But NC is great. I have no idea what she is doing so there is a lot of distance from all the intense pain. I remember everything but don't feel it as much. 1
Cam116 Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 I sure hope it gets better! Just made it through day 7 NC. We never had any agreement on going NC, but I'm doing it because I honestly don't know how to handle our situation. He has reached out to me a few times since he broke up with me a month ago, and our conversations have been very normal and friendly. But I've decided upon myself to let him come to me, but not having an actual agreement on NC I think is making it harder because I know that if I call, he will answer and we could have a normal conversation. I had my finger on the call button today. I held back, and am feeling pretty good. Let's hope I can keep myself from calling him tomorrow (even though I really want to, just to catch up....ugh). Hang in there, from what I've read it does get easier.
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