Would you date/marry a woman who's low maintenance?

[Treasa]

I have found that finding exctly what a woman, frien lover whatever need and wants makes wonders.

 

I have a friend that I get along super, she is into triathlons and sports stuff, also she has a small iPod water proof and bands for running, also she likes Roses and notebooks. So I went to a digital printer and made a notebook with her name I designed a logo with 2 tennis shoes and the legend " 2013, Run for it!" the covers with Roses printed and in a wooden box in green (her favorite with small comparments for the bands and her ipod and headphones.

I wrote how important her friendship is to me in the first page of the notebook.

 

I gave it to her and she called me after Xmas and said, it was the best present she got. <Price less than USD $80.00... but I listened and tried to give her what she needed.

 

Too bad to much people confuse Money and effort with love and attachment.

 

THAT was an awesome present! Way to observe what she likes.

[Keenly]

At first I want to say yea I could date a low maint. Girl... But after skimming through your post... I understand that you don't want him to spend money on you...

 

But if we go out. I am paying... No if s ands or buts. If I buy you flowers, its because I WAJT to, not because you asked for them. If you don't accept my generosity, my hospitality, or ky gifts , I would have a problem. It's one thing to not ask for special treatment, bit if I decided to go out of my way to do something special for you, and you acted uninterested , indifferent, or just flat out rejected it , I would get mad.

[carhill]

I'm only half taking this seriously, as I have a raging headache and just wanted to start a thread, but it's the only thing I feel like asking at the moment, besides how to make sinus headaches go away...

 

Check with your doc but I had really good success with a saline solution and a WaterPik with a nasal irrigation attachment. The doc did give me an antibiotic first though, but antibiotics generally pass through the sinuses poorly so aren't that effective. I never had sinus issues prior so it wasn't a structural problem.

 

As far as low maintenance, I like a woman who is engaging but doesn't set my teeth on edge all the time and goes with the flow. Seemingly out of character and situation outbursts would serve to define a higher maintenance level than would be attractive to myself. This is probably the result of past experiences with disordered people and caring for a psychotic person. It wore me out. Peace and quiet get high value these days.

 

Hope you're feeling better soon. Sinus headaches suck....

[Treasa]

At first I want to say yea I could date a low maint. Girl... But after skimming through your post... I understand that you don't want him to spend money on you...

 

But if we go out. I am paying... No if s ands or buts. If I buy you flowers, its because I WAJT to, not because you asked for them. If you don't accept my generosity, my hospitality, or ky gifts , I would have a problem. It's one thing to not ask for special treatment, bit if I decided to go out of my way to do something special for you, and you acted uninterested , indifferent, or just flat out rejected it , I would get mad.

 

Oh, no, I'm not like that. On a date I'll offer to pay my half. If a man says no, I'll smile and ask, "Are you sure?" If he insists, I give him at least a kiss on the cheek (a soft, slow one) and a very gracious thank you.

 

And flowers will get me beaming and telling my mom (loudly so he can hear it) what a sweet thing he did.

 

I just don't *need* or expect those things.

[Treasa]

Check with your doc but I had really good success with a saline solution and a WaterPik with a nasal irrigation attachment. The doc did give me an antibiotic first though, but antibiotics generally pass through the sinuses poorly so aren't that effective. I never had sinus issues prior so it wasn't a structural problem.

 

As far as low maintenance, I like a woman who is engaging but doesn't set my teeth on edge all the time and goes with the flow. Seemingly out of character and situation outbursts would serve to define a higher maintenance level than would be attractive to myself. This is probably the result of past experiences with disordered people and caring for a psychotic person. It wore me out. Peace and quiet get high value these days.

 

Hope you're feeling better soon. Sinus headaches suck....

 

Awesome, thank you! Yeah, my doctor has had me on the strongest antibiotics they can give me, and it rarely helps with sinus infections. Stupid things...

[KungFuJoe]

Treasa,

 

I can put this thread to rest.

 

The vast majority of men WANT a low maintenance woman.

 

There are exceptions, but I doubt many men want a spoiled brat as a life partner.

[carhill]

Awesome, thank you! Yeah, my doctor has had me on the strongest antibiotics they can give me, and it rarely helps with sinus infections. Stupid things...

Yep, even Ciprofloxacin was only moderately effective.

 

An example of low-maintenance would be 'Man, these sinus headaches are killing me. Is there anything we can figure out to help me here?', then work something out as a team. Drama would be getting yelled at because the person has a headache, without any move to work the issue. I could use my 'Beautiful blue sky today' example to illustrate but I think the example is pretty clear. We all deal with 'stuff' in life and how we respond to the stuff defines aspects of our 'maintenance' level. No one is perfect but if one is consistently 'dramatic' over time, it can wear on people, who often will then disappear. I've found confrontation goes over spectacularly poorly

[Treasa]

Yep, even Ciprofloxacin was only moderately effective.

 

An example of low-maintenance would be 'Man, these sinus headaches are killing me. Is there anything we can figure out to help me here?', then work something out as a team. Drama would be getting yelled at because the person has a headache, without any move to work the issue. I could use my 'Beautiful blue sky today' example to illustrate but I think the example is pretty clear. We all deal with 'stuff' in life and how we respond to the stuff defines aspects of our 'maintenance' level. No one is perfect but if one is consistently 'dramatic' over time, it can wear on people, who often will then disappear. I've found confrontation goes over spectacularly poorly

 

Agreed completely.

[Woggle]

I would but I consider low maintenance to be low drama. My wife gets dolled up and dresses well all the time but she hates drama just as much as I do. She is not the type to start an argument unless she has a damn good reason to.

[todreaminblue]

I'm thinking about it, and I'm really low maintenance. That's not to say I don't have standards, or that I don't think highly of myself, but I'm not really into things like flowers, jewelry, etc.

 

If a guy gave me flowers on occasion, I would gush over them and reward him with a lot of affection, but I don't ask for flowers...ever. Actually, I'd rather have a plant.

 

I already have my engagement ring picked out. It costs $15 and is silver and cubic zirconium, but it's really pretty and simple. If a guy spent a day's salary on me much less two months' or whatever, I'd have to seriously reconsider the relationship.

 

I don't need to be taken out. If I want to go somewhere, I'll suggest it, and then go alone or with friends if a guy doesn't want to go. If I'm asked out, I'll often go because I love it when other people arrange things.

 

The most expensive "clothing" I have is a pair of running shoes at $150. I use them for running and races, and my knee health is really important to me.

 

I don't have a problem attracting men, but sometimes I wonder if men want a woman who is high maintenance. If they do, they need to keep looking, but I'm curious if anyone here is like that. If so, do you see women like that as more of a challenge or something better to "achieve"?

 

I'm only half taking this seriously, as I have a raging headache and just wanted to start a thread, but it's the only thing I feel like asking at the moment, besides how to make sinus headaches go away...

 

When i was in a relationship i would see things and go i like that my partner would say well get it...i would say i like it but that doesnt mean i want it.....he would shove it in the trolley.......there would be these pile of things in there i would have to get rid of before we reached the check out...necklaces in the fridge section next to the cheeses, a dress hanging on the end of the shoe section,a pair of earrings behind the confectionary, i guess the staff at the shops would realize when i went shopping....once he took the trolley off me and went straight to the checkout.....i felt naked wihtout my trolley and didnt get a chance to do my planting....i nearly threw up when it came to 300 dollars...lol...i think i am a mix of high maintenance and low maitenenace....i do buy for myself but only when i really want it...i have been known to have reatail therapy days......i mainly hunt for bargains.....and i make it equal.....if i buy for myself i always buy for my family...in a relationship i am nto a jealous person ...i love it when others organize things.....and i can just go .....i like it to be new sometimes......like a surprise, a bit of mystery instead of me researching and planning it out......maybe that's high maitenenace.....i like to look feminine when i go out......so ill take time to feel good, still never takes me that long...i am more high maintenance emotionally...i can burn people out who i let get close....i am aware of that...so i have a select few close friends....and my ever suffering family....who i make it up too..deb

[Ninjainpajamas]

I like women who are low-maintenance in the respect that they are happy with the little things and value the important things in life, and don't need to be flashy or the center of attention all of the time and are independent and confident with not just what they have or can show off, but who they are...having a solid self-identity is much more important than a facade to attract men and impress women.

 

I'm a very practical/business minded kind of guy but also feel you should try and reflect the best of who and what you are, I enjoy the nice things in life but don't require them to be happy...in a situation of catastrophe or crisis I wouldn't be concerned with my belongs, valuables and materialistic things...I'm the guy that would take what he needs and has and be the most resourceful with it. I don't attach myself to many things in life, other than the people I love or care about.

 

With that being said people judge you by how you look, dress and represent yourself...I'm not particularly attracted to the girl that dresses way down and who's going to wear really old clothes especially that don't fit her anymore, or fit her too tight but as soon as she loses the extra pounds she'll fit right into them perfectly or it just looks awkward. I'd like someone who dresses moderate but most importantly good taste, good/great for occasions and neutral when we just need to get out and go somewhere and do something...I'm someone who dresses t-shirts and jeans mostly because I spend a lot of time on a motorcycle but even so I don't lose my confidence just because I'm not dressed to impress (which I think I can dress well and I do on occasion without being a metrosexual about it) so a woman that can just pull her hair up and still be confident is necessary...because she doesn't define herself by how "pretty" or "made-up" she looks all the time but she still has a standard and expectation to how she wants to look and feel for herself.

 

Someone who has just let themselves go completely and complains or feels ugly whenever they aren't dolled up or because they don't care of their own health can be very annoying because they'll complain and do make-up/hair checks the whole time, and it'll take them forever to get going anywhere and I'm not a man of great patience (esp when I'm hungry). Very insecure women to me are high-maintenance and I feel it has nothing to do with me, I could tell her she's pretty every day and she'd still stand in front of the mirror and says she's ugly and fat...that bugs the hell out of me.

 

I'm really not into the princess or entitled type, that's a complete turn-off...I don't care if she's a 12, I'll make the most sarcastic or nonchalant comment at her without thinking twice if she gives me attitude.

 

However the funny thing is, the vast majority of the time these women are not even close to all that, the most beautiful women I've met have been surprisingly really down-to-earth...who'd figure, the average or uglies though that got spoiled by mom and dad, or all her past-boyfriends thinks you should roll out the red carpet as she's entering a castle...I'm more like likely to piss on the carpet then walk away zipping up my pants, because I'm no jester, I'm not going to dance and entertain a woman like that....I don't care who she is or where she's from. This entitlement thing I've ran into a handful of times and I roll my eyes at it and just determine incompatibility fairly quick.

 

My perfect type is the kind of girl that can get dirty and even look a little grungy, but can shower then throw on a dress or nice outfit and get dolled up...doesn't wear a lot of make-up and has some natural beauty to her. However I will say that the "girly" type can get me now and again, I also like very feminine women, but I guess as a man that's obvious but I don't think that's my best compatibility.

 

If she's passionate like I am, very strong minded, independent and fiery that's what I attracts me more than the superficial qualities (not that I don't have to be attracted to her)...I think it's nice when women cover the basics of hair removal (mustaches other disturbing areas), maintain their nails so they don't look like a mans (or cut them short - medical field not much choice) and does her hair every once in a while...but I don't need fancy curls and an expensive hair-do, just comb that rug. And keep your "bush" in check, I don't want to have to take a machete to it! Or just wax it or shave it

 

As far as women being high-maintenance in terms of complicated or difficult that's preferred for me because I enjoy women with a high-standard rather than go out with every Dick or Tom. I don't enjoy relationships very simplistic or one-dimensional people or even gullible, I need someone more complex like me to make it interesting and engaging with depth. I like being to able to have conversations about many different things....relationships, love, sex, philosophical conversations and more worldly aware individuals, with less self-centered concerns but also cares about the big picture, not just her own bubble of life.

 

Per usual I can go on and on, but this of course is a preference...you don't always fall for the one that fits your expectations or criteria on paper, love has a way of screwing you over like that I enjoy being with someone who lives and thinks completely different than I do too at times, it gives me a different perspective and point of view of life. Although I don't know if that would be best for me in the long-run, I believe two people have to compliment each other, not just be the same...so in that regard I take big chances in love since it's something that is hard to define...if I feel the red flags are low or addressed, chemistry and romance is high and I get along very well with the person otherwise, sometimes things work that you didn't expect them to, and sometimes they don't...I try to have an open-mind when it comes to those kinds of things especially with how much I know about myself and what works, however It doesn't mean you ignore red flags and serious issues when you see them...just because of "hope"...many people want to turn water into wine in regards to their relationship with someone and it's just never gonna happen.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Blah...most men would consider me "high maintenance" and have told me so. I don't expect flowers and gifts but I do expect certain amount of attention that demonstrates that a guy really wants to get to know me. I have strong intuition and can spot easily when a guy is being shady. Sometimes I will sit for a while on this information, other times I will act immedietly. I also expect guys to take me out once in a while. I won't be happy sitting on a couch every day.

 

I am complex and don't get along with people that consider themselves as simple or have binary way of thinking. I need someone with emotional depth and rich inner life.

 

I don't spend 4 hours getting ready, but I am not a tomb boy by any means. I am very feminine and like to dress up and look good when going to work or going out. I also scrape my hair back, wear daggy clothes and no make up when I am going to the gym or hike. I do really enjoy shopping!

 

So high maintenance mostly, probably like this:

 

<low----------*----high>

[Treasa]

Blah...most men would consider me "high maintenance" and have told me so. I don't expect flowers and gifts but I do expect certain amount of attention that demonstrates that a guy really wants to get to know me. I have strong intuition and can spot easily when a guy is being shady. Sometimes I will sit for a while on this information, other times I will act immedietly. I also expect guys to take me out once in a while. I won't be happy sitting on a couch every day.

 

I am complex and don't get along with people that consider themselves as simple or have binary way of thinking. I need someone with emotional depth and rich inner life.

 

I don't spend 4 hours getting ready, but I am not a tomb boy by any means. I am very feminine and like to dress up and look good when going to work or going out. I also scrape my hair back, wear daggy clothes and no make up when I am going to the gym or hike. I do really enjoy shopping!

 

So high maintenance mostly, probably like this:

 

<low----------*----high>

 

I definitely don't consider you high maintenance in the way I was thinking.

[mesmerized]

Guys like a girl who can both be high maintenance and low maintenance if needed. guys want a dolled up woman they can show off but also one they don't have to take to the most expensive restaurants to please. So yes, you will certainly lose certain type of guys by being low maintenance.

[EasyHeart]

The vast majority of men WANT a low maintenance woman.

 

There are exceptions, but I doubt many men want a spoiled brat as a life partner.

Unless she's Shannen Doherty, of course. . . .

[El Brujo]

High maintenance, low maintenance... are you more interested in a woman or an exotic sports car???

[Charlie Harper]

High maintenance, low maintenance... are you more interested in a woman or an exotic sports car???

 

Depends on Both LOL !!!

 

Drama queens by definition are HIGH to very HIGH maintenance...

[TheZebra]

I think there's a lot of high maintenance women out there, but I don't understand why guys stick around them. Maybe they're insecure or desperate?

 

I know my best friend is a little bit high maintenance.. she tells me some of the things her and her boyfriend fight about and all I can think of is 'really? There's people out there right now finding out they have terminal cancer and you're complaining because he hasn't texted you back immediately?'

[gaius]

Ugh, THIS so much!! My most recent ex was lamenting over what to get me for my birthday because had had been out of work and his money was kind of low. I told him I just wanted a picture of him (digital, taken with a cell phone), and maybe an email that was personal or sweet.

 

He got mad at me and said that that wasn't what he wanted to get me, and that if it wasn't a real present that he bought, it didn't count. He was actually angry at me for telling him what I wanted instead of what he wanted to get me. It didn't equate love to him unless he was in control of what it was.

I don't know. It sounds like maybe he was bummed out about being out of work and then was bummed out further that you suggested he get you a gift that's normally reserved for kids under 12 to give. It might make me think you don't think much of me as a man, that I can't even buy you a simple gift.

 

As far as low maintenance, I'm not sure about that either. The way you describe it makes it sound almost like you don't really need your guy for anything. If he doesn't want to go out with you no big deal. Which I don't think I would like. I like my partner to need me for things. If I don't call my girlfriend after a while she usually calls or sends me something trying to get me on the phone. I love that. I think it's awesome you don't put a huge value on expensive things though.

[carhill]

I found this definition of 'low maintenance' in the urban dictionary and it pretty much reflects my personal definition of the trait:

 

Someone who is easy to please, does not require constant pampering, attention or gifts or things done "their way or no way". One who is genuinely happy to enjoy the company of others. Easy-going, unselfish and usually a joy to be around.

[Treasa]

I found this definition of 'low maintenance' in the urban dictionary and it pretty much reflects my personal definition of the trait:

 

Someone who is easy to please, does not require constant pampering, attention or gifts or things done "their way or no way". One who is genuinely happy to enjoy the company of others. Easy-going, unselfish and usually a joy to be around.

 

Mine too.

[Treasa]

I don't know. It sounds like maybe he was bummed out about being out of work and then was bummed out further that you suggested he get you a gift that's normally reserved for kids under 12 to give. It might make me think you don't think much of me as a man, that I can't even buy you a simple gift.

 

As far as low maintenance, I'm not sure about that either. The way you describe it makes it sound almost like you don't really need your guy for anything. If he doesn't want to go out with you no big deal. Which I don't think I would like. I like my partner to need me for things. If I don't call my girlfriend after a while she usually calls or sends me something trying to get me on the phone. I love that. I think it's awesome you don't put a huge value on expensive things though.

 

I asked him if I could still have the picture, because that's honestly what I wanted, and he said no because he doesn't think things have value unless you spend money on them. He was a huge control freak.

 

I don't need a guy. That isn't to say I don't appreciate things a guy does for me. If a guy is sweet, you bet your ass I'm going above and beyond the normal "thank you." But there's a difference between being gracious and being demanding. I'm gracious, not demanding.

[HokeyReligions]

I have to chuckle at myself. I like nice things and have expansive taste but those are low priority. I was in my 50s when I finally told my hubby (who does the shopping) that I would like a different soap to use on my face.....Lava &dial & ivory were too harsh. Now I use oil of Olay and a good face scrub and moisturizer. Thats MY high maintenance!

 

Although I did get a Coach purse for Christmas.