Harradin Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Everyone knows my story, if not: Long story short, a week before the breakup, her parents told her they were getting a divorce, she was devastated so I was there for her all that week and looked after her and tried to make her happy, she told me how grateful she was and how much she loved me. I then went away for the weekend where she suddenly goes distant, then she leaves me (via email that she didn't write) for my 'friend' completely out of the blue after the weekend. Where I find out that my 'friend' had been making moves on her the week when she found out her parents got divorced, and they met up during that weekend where she tells me "nothing happened", then decided she would rather be with him and left me for him. So basically he manipulated her when she was down. Assuming it was the divorce that messed her head and she kept finding excuses to contact me weeks after the breakup, I tried getting her back a month later only for her to lead me on (holding hands, sitting on my lap etc) and tell me she was staying with the 'friend.' Not spoken to her since then (October.) Frustrating that I still love her (somehow) but I'm trying to move on. Its been nearly 3 months NC. Nearly 3 months NC, I still feel pain, I'm not over her but I'm getting there little by little. Recently started exercising again (had illnesses etc,) but after I exercise, I get really bad urges to contact her and I feel I want her etc etc, it gets pretty bad. I get it bad at night but its frustrating when it now happens after exercising. Anyone got any ideas?
KraftDinner Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Little known fact: for a minority of people, those prone to anxiety, exercise (increased heart rate, endorphins) can trigger long-lasting anxiety and even panic. You'll only hear about how it's supposed to be good for anxiety and probably feel like you're going crazy...but after I did EXTENSIVE research, I found this to be true for some people. 1
Chi townD Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 What worked for me was to incorporate her into my work out. If I was on the treadmill, I would think about all the ways she wronged me and I would push up the speed. Got angry and took it out on the machine. If I was pushing weight, made me put more weight on the bars and pushed the stress of her out of me. By the time I was done with my work out, I was too tired to even think about her anymore. 1
sadpanda87 Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 or you could've possibly associated her with exercise... maybe it was the gym together, or the sex.
Author Harradin Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 Little known fact: for a minority of people, those prone to anxiety, exercise (increased heart rate, endorphins) can trigger long-lasting anxiety and even panic. You'll only hear about how it's supposed to be good for anxiety and probably feel like you're going crazy...but after I did EXTENSIVE research, I found this to be true for some people. The strange thing is, I've never suffered from anxiety or anything like that, I never really got nervous until this girl appeared, I was bricking it meeting her (we met on a forum then she lived 20 mins from me so we decided to meet up) for some reason. But considering I had no things in the past. :S What worked for me was to incorporate her into my work out. If I was on the treadmill, I would think about all the ways she wronged me and I would push up the speed. Got angry and took it out on the machine. If I was pushing weight, made me put more weight on the bars and pushed the stress of her out of me. By the time I was done with my work out, I was too tired to even think about her anymore. I'll give that a go, I just tend to think about my goals and that motivates me to push harder to achieve them when I train. or you could've possibly associated her with exercise... maybe it was the gym together, or the sex. I never really did much exercise when I was with her, we never went to the gym or anything. I did tell her I couldn't motivate for the gym and that when I went back to uni I would try to do something (I've been on/off with exercise for the past couple of years now.) Its just weird that I feel worse after I do exercise.
spaniard Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 In the first 1-2 months after the BU, every time I went to gym, I was really sad after exercising. I too had the urge to contact her. Even running, which supposed to lift mood was sort of depressing, as I used to call her every time I finished my evening 10km run. After the break up, there was noone to call anymore. I stopped running and start to focus on the gym to build muscle. It was a bit depressing as I stopped working out like a year before and I looked much thinner and weaker than then. But after two months of hard work, I started to see the results again, and it gave me a HUGE boost on my mood. Since then I have always been eager to go to gym and the post-exercise sadness has disappeared too. 1
Anela Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Little known fact: for a minority of people, those prone to anxiety, exercise (increased heart rate, endorphins) can trigger long-lasting anxiety and even panic. You'll only hear about how it's supposed to be good for anxiety and probably feel like you're going crazy...but after I did EXTENSIVE research, I found this to be true for some people. This has happened to me before, but only at times. I have had to avoid working out in certain places, because it makes my depression worse - this one is more likely for me. But panic attacks have hit when my heart was already rushing, I'd had caffeine, and I pushed it. I thought exercise would help, but it made it worse.
Author Harradin Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 In the first 1-2 months after the BU, every time I went to gym, I was really sad after exercising. I too had the urge to contact her. Even running, which supposed to lift mood was sort of depressing, as I used to call her every time I finished my evening 10km run. After the break up, there was noone to call anymore. I stopped running and start to focus on the gym to build muscle. It was a bit depressing as I stopped working out like a year before and I looked much thinner and weaker than then. But after two months of hard work, I started to see the results again, and it gave me a HUGE boost on my mood. Since then I have always been eager to go to gym and the post-exercise sadness has disappeared too. See I'm mostly doing cardio because I need to lose 4-5kg for motorsport, but plan on having toned muscle so once I see some improvements I might get rid of this post exercise sadness
esteem-jam Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 I was doing excersises towards muscle gain. I did feel pleasant exaustion after excersises. But I think it went for me this way: I feel bad > I need some physical outlet/relief. If I dont get this outlet, I become really aggressive. I call it ''restless legs". When I felt bad I would do 10-20 sit-ups (instead of full exc. routine). The moral of the story: it can get bad if it gets into a bad loop. If you dont get your supposed relief OR of you dont have a opportunity to do the routine or you forgot/no time - then your outlet can become something else (things, person), which is dangerous. Some psychologic test comes to mind where they had computers and they were connected and could send a electric shock signal anonymously if their opponent disturbed them. Some did send the pain signal, and some did nothing (when their opponent disturbed them). By the testers the conclusion was its better to wait it out. If you dont get your beating pillow, it can become a person.
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