Emmii Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 I've known this guy for a year. But six months ago he told me that he finds me very attract and that enjoys talking to me. A mutual friend of our had shown him pictures of me on Facebook and so he questioned me as to why I hadn't added him on Facebook. He added me and we started having a daily chat on Facebook via inbox. Eventually we exchanged numbers and we started text flirting. This has been going on for the past few months. We had a conversation a month ago about relationships. He told me that at the moment he just wanted to have fun and no strings attached where as I want a relationship as its been a long time since I've dated. I won't sleep anyone unless I'm in a relationship and he said thats fine and I respect that. After discussing that we decided to remain friends and keep our distance. With Xmas being around the corner and going to so many parties we kept bumping into each other and other flirting started back again. Mid December he text me asking if I was free to come over for a movie and a meal. I did go down. The first thing I noticed was he was very nervous as he kept on laughing and couldn't look at me. I asked him what was wrong and he said "it's you! You make me nervous!" I at that time was just sitting there watching tv. We got a little cosy together and he was cuddling me and kept kissing my forehead. The next thing you know his kissing my neck. We ended up kissing. It was very passionate and electric. Each time I pushed him off to get some air and cool down he kept telling me how soft and beautiful my skin is. We had our hands everywhere but I didn't sleep with him. At the end of a very hot and passionate night he walked me to my car and started kissing me again and I had to push him off. Since then he has been texting to see how I am as I've not been well. When I'm coming over to spend some time with him. I've not seen him for 2 weeks as I've not been very well. I was talking to a mutual friend who doesn't know what has happened between us told me he was seeing someone just for sex as she's in a relationship and not happy. She wants to date him but he doesn't. I'm confused by his behaviour. Why didn't he tell me he has a sex buddy? Secondly why is he being all lovey dovey to me? His keeps telling me that he knows I won't sleep with as I have morals. He didn't push at all about sex either.
carhill Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 He told me that at the moment he just wanted to have fun and no strings attached where as I want a relationship as its been a long time since I've dated. I won't sleep anyone unless I'm in a relationship and he said thats fine and I respect that. After discussing that we decided to remain friends and keep our distance. Mid December he text me asking if I was free to come over for a movie and a meal. We got a little cosy together and he was cuddling me and kept kissing my forehead. The next thing you know his kissing my neck. We ended up kissing. It was very passionate and electric At the end of a very hot and passionate night he walked me to my car and started kissing me again and I had to push him off. I was talking to a mutual friend who doesn't know what has happened between us told me he was seeing someone just for sex as she's in a relationship and not happy Player 1
NateC Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 I didn't even need to analyze anything before concluding player. He doesn't even want to be committed. Avoid him like the plague unless it's what you want.
Author Emmii Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 Thank you for the reply. It's been 5 yrs since I've dated and I do feel very stupid now. How do I behave now? I kind of want to get my own back but I'm not a nasty person. I just wanna make him feel his lost a good thing. As we see each other quite a lot as we have the same circle of friends.
carhill Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Make like a hole in the water and disappear. Billions more to be served. I'm sure neutrality, as with any other friend/acquaintance, etc, is easy to achieve.
Author Emmii Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 It's going to be very difficult as we have the same circle of friends. I feel used to be honest and sick with myself
Author Emmii Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 All I can see is red!! I want him to feel like it wasn't a big deal and I'm over it and don't have no time for him without causing any friction between us
Radu Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 It's going to be very difficult as we have the same circle of friends. I feel used to be honest and sick with myself Why ? No reason to feel like your value has decreased, like you are worth less. If anything the guy who is doing this is worth less. If he comments in the circle of friends, be a b*tch about it and say 'i've had better' or hint that baby carrots are forever gone from your life. All I can see is red!! I want him to feel like it wasn't a big deal and I'm over it and don't have no time for him without causing any friction between us Having emotion for him [good or bad] still means you have emotion for him. So you are not over him. When you stop caring ... that's when you are over him.
NateC Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 If you have the same circle of friends, just decline "alone time". He'll get the hint.
Author Emmii Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 Because its been a long time and I feel silly. I never let my guard down to anyone . I've always had long term relationships. But what you said is very true. I think he needs to stop contacting me. It's probably as its still very fresh. That probably why I wanna make him feel like its his loss. With time I hope I'll get over it and get my confidence back.
Author Emmii Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 "Alone time" is what I'll do. The distance the better. Hopefully I'll clear my head.
delighted_delilah Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 You are not stupid and he is a PLAYER.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 He's a horny douche with a thing for you but is apparently not perceptive of your depth as a person to clear the deck and/or be honest and direct. The issue about him being "nervous" though indicates a high reverence for you I think. But what all else he is doing may be your deal-breaker. If you like him enough to have a relationship with him, give him your terms. I'm sure that won't include permission to have recreational sex with an f-buddy. Good luck.
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