still hurting Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 My wife and I separated in late October and have been negotiating the terms of a divorce. We finally reached an agreement and the divorce papers were filed this week. She started dating even before we separated, however I wanted to wait at least until the papers were filed. Question #1: What is my status? Separated has a connotation of being temporary. I am not legally divorced until the divorce is final, however I believe divorced is more accurate than separated. I intend to disclose the details during the initial conversation with the prospective date. So, am I wrong to put divorced on the dating websites? Question #2: How should I refer to my wife? If I'm discussing her with my date, it seems weird to call her my wife. As long as I have fully disclosed my situation can I refer to her as my ex. Perhaps I could just use the word ex, and not ex-wife. I want to make it clear that it is not my intention to deceive the women that I'm going out with and that I will fully disclose my status. Thanks.
carhill Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 When I was separated and dating, I faced this same situation... 1. You're separated. You're legally married until the 'marriage dissolved on xxx' appears on your judgment with the seal of the court. That has meaning, emotionally, to romantic potentials you may encounter. The meaning varies by person. 2. Around LS we use the acronym STBX which is 'soon to be ex' ...spouse/partner, etc. In real life I referred to my exW as 'estranged', 'separated', 'soon to be divorced', etc. Most of the time I didn't refer to her at all, since she as a person was irrelevant to the dates I was going on. My marital status was relevant, so shared honestly. I posted a thread about it Good luck.
Author still hurting Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 Thanks Carhill. I have changed my status to Separated and put an explanation in my profile.
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