BetrayedH Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 I was one of those that would've initially supported ADs. I always felt the effects were minimal (if any) but I sometimes thought my lows weren't as low when on them so I went ahead and tried again. In hindsight, it was likely just a placebo effect. I was willing to try anything. I also had multliple therapists suggest I had PTSD. I looked into EMDR as there were several anecdotal reports of success on other infidelity forums but there didn't seem to be a lot of scientific support and I couldn't find a therapist in my city that did it. Eck. I'll be glad to be done with all this nonsense.
Author raykinsella Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 ME TOO! Unfortunatley from all I have read and heard the reality is we will NEVER be done with it. It's a scar that will never go away. Sobering...and depressing.
BetrayedH Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 ME TOO! Unfortunatley from all I have read and heard the reality is we will NEVER be done with it. It's a scar that will never go away. Sobering...and depressing. Eh, I don't know. The scar may remain and be a reminder from time to time but the wound will heal and no longer be anywhere near as painful as it was. I still battle with depression from time to time but it is less frequent and less intense. What I do believe is that the 2-5 year estimate to heal is accurate, whether you reconcile or not. I'm coming up on 2 years and I'm certainly not yet fully healed but my situation was pretty damn extreme. I try to stay focused on continuous improvement rather than an end goal now. Fast is slow and slow is fast.
Steen719 Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 ray I think it is important to have your conversations about this with someone who actually prescribes and treats people with this type of medications. You can listen to all of us and no offense to anyone here, but you can also find articles that support just about anything you believe. Your physician or psychiatrist will have more information for you about how long you should stay on them, side effects, when behavioral or psychotherapy is recommended and what medication is appropriate for you. I understand you are looking for some help here - I seek it regularly. I just think the kind of questions you have are best answered by someone who has some experience in prescribing and treating your type of issues. IMHO, I think it would be the same if someone here was trying to decide about their medical treatment. We would have our opinions, but your Dr. should be the one treating you, not us. If you feel as if your provider does not take the time with you, then find someone who will. Just my 2 cents.
Decorative Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 I was one of those that would've initially supported ADs. I always felt the effects were minimal (if any) but I sometimes thought my lows weren't as low when on them so I went ahead and tried again. In hindsight, it was likely just a placebo effect. I was willing to try anything. I also had multliple therapists suggest I had PTSD. I looked into EMDR as there were several anecdotal reports of success on other infidelity forums but there didn't seem to be a lot of scientific support and I couldn't find a therapist in my city that did it. Eck. I'll be glad to be done with all this nonsense. I agree it is hard to find scientific support for it in the mainstream. I found it mainly in psych journals, which was about as fun as reading the back of cereal boxes. I was highly skeptical. And I guess since I didn't have classic EMDR, I cannot say I am anecdote of success for that. But I do feel like I have kicked PTSD's a**. The main thing I took away from what my therapist did with me? Was that we faced it over and over again. Exposure therapy- like you would treat a phobia. We made it so routine and ordinary that it stopped me from that feeling of trauma and shock , and that trigger-y feeling I used to get? When a situation arises? Now? I can mentally flick it away. 1
Decorative Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Eh, I don't know. The scar may remain and be a reminder from time to time but the wound will heal and no longer be anywhere near as painful as it was. I still battle with depression from time to time but it is less frequent and less intense. What I do believe is that the 2-5 year estimate to heal is accurate, whether you reconcile or not. I'm coming up on 2 years and I'm certainly not yet fully healed but my situation was pretty damn extreme. I try to stay focused on continuous improvement rather than an end goal now. Fast is slow and slow is fast. Exactly. One of my closest friends who went through this, too described it as a scar. It heals, over time. It silvers and lessens, until you don't think about it much. But when something presses on it once in awhile, it can still hurt, and it always will. But that it can be a reminder to keep moving forward, because so many of the days after healing are so good. Or something like that.
BetrayedH Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 ray I think it is important to have your conversations about this with someone who actually prescribes and treats people with this type of medications. You can listen to all of us and no offense to anyone here, but you can also find articles that support just about anything you believe. Your physician or psychiatrist will have more information for you about how long you should stay on them, side effects, when behavioral or psychotherapy is recommended and what medication is appropriate for you. I understand you are looking for some help here - I seek it regularly. I just think the kind of questions you have are best answered by someone who has some experience in prescribing and treating your type of issues. IMHO, I think it would be the same if someone here was trying to decide about their medical treatment. We would have our opinions, but your Dr. should be the one treating you, not us. If you feel as if your provider does not take the time with you, then find someone who will. Just my 2 cents. Yeah, probably smart. I'm not a doctor, although I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. 1
Steen719 Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Yeah, probably smart. I'm not a doctor, although I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. With WHO, young man?
Steen719 Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 With WHO, young man? Aww, what a nosy nob I am - I have been talking to my son in college and am in the mom mode! ha ha
carhill Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 OP, book-ending on the advice to consult a competent mental health professional with regard to treating depression with AD's, I'll add to it to be especially adherent to their procedures for ceasing use of SSRI's and other brain meds. Stopping 'cold turkey' can have very negative side effects and some of the issues noted are amongst them. Good luck. 1
BetrayedH Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 With WHO, young man? Oh don't get all jealous, Steen. You know my heart belongs to you. (Dang, now I have to go read about boundaries again!)
Steen719 Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Oh don't get all jealous, Steen. You know my heart belongs to you. (Dang, now I have to go read about boundaries again!) LOL.....thus why I went back and inserted the mom thing.....my boundaries, too!!! 1
Bryanp Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 You may wish to try Cialis instead of Levistra.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Doctors just love prescribing ADs! Instant cure-all. I suffer from long- tern depression and believe me I'd love to stop taking taking them. I gave gained weight, I have a reduced sense of smell and yes, reaching orgasm is difficult. But last time I came off them I got passed all the horrible physical symptoms of withdrawal after a month or so only to get plunged back into worse depression later and standing on a bridge over a busy motorway intending to jump off. So I am stuck with them. I' d personally never take them to get over a situation like infidelity, I know their nasty little ways too well. Your reaction is normal - I have a totally remorseful FWH who is doing everything right but I am still going through the mill.Can't be avoided. Try a herbal sleep medicine if you need help with that - I take something with valerian and hops and it works really well. Hi WW. I understand your health care system operates differently than ours in America so I don't know how hard it would be but the model of antidepressant use is really that the patient is the one who MUST either guide or demand treatment changes if the experience to what is prescribed is unfavorable and unacceptable. This is a big distinction that a lot of people in America don't properly make--they complain about being prescribed meds and act as though they are being experimented on or used by physicians to advance the economic penetration of a pharmaceutical company. That is fundamentally wrong. Since there is not blood test or "dip stick" into the brain where a doctor can know precisely what neurotransmitter is causing what bit of behavioral malady, the patient must communicate all issues and not believe they are subordinate in this. If a doctor acts as if he or she knows it all and that you must just acquiesce or lump it, they are wrong and it is the patent's job to dismiss them and seek another doctor. I understand that this becomes harder in socialized medicine and frankly, American medicine is quite authoritarian and bureaucratic as it is. All of us human beings need to understand that a revolution in medicine for the mind is only about 20 years old and there are old mentalities and talk therapy purism in which therapists sometimes resent pharmacology. It's a pitiful state and not getting better fast enough. You have to look out for yourself and simply not accept medicine whose side effects cause health and other social maladies. It has to be seen as a life-long quest to find the right answer--not just a take it or leave it and suffer in silence proposition. Speak up, get differnent meds and best wishes. 3
waterwoman Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 If a doctor acts as if he or she knows it all and that you must just acquiesce or lump it, they are wrong and it is the patent's job to dismiss them and seek another doctor. I understand that this becomes harder in socialized medicine and frankly, American medicine is quite authoritarian and bureaucratic as it is. All of us human beings need to understand that a revolution in medicine for the mind is only about 20 years old and there are old mentalities and talk therapy purism in which therapists sometimes resent pharmacology. It's a pitiful state and not getting better fast enough. You have to look out for yourself and simply not accept medicine whose side effects cause health and other social maladies. It has to be seen as a life-long quest to find the right answer--not just a take it or leave it and suffer in silence proposition. Speak up, get differnent meds and best wishes. No, you can still find a different GP. Could even go private if you wished to. But I take your point entirely. However I have been suffering with depression and/or anxiety for nearly 14 years (and longer I suspect but undiagnosed) and have tried several different meds - GPs (general practitioners are open to trying something new - as long as the 'something new' is more drugs or maybe therapy. But tapering the dose down and then stopping and then starting a new one is fairly traumatic - I also have tried many many times to come off them altogether because I'd prefer to be med-free. I have settled on my current drug because it makes me feel OK and doesn't have as many side-effects as others. It's a balancing act.
Author raykinsella Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 Bryan, why Cialis over Levitra?
Feelin Frisky Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 No, you can still find a different GP. Could even go private if you wished to. But I take your point entirely. However I have been suffering with depression and/or anxiety for nearly 14 years (and longer I suspect but undiagnosed) and have tried several different meds - GPs (general practitioners are open to trying something new - as long as the 'something new' is more drugs or maybe therapy. But tapering the dose down and then stopping and then starting a new one is fairly traumatic - I also have tried many many times to come off them altogether because I'd prefer to be med-free. I have settled on my current drug because it makes me feel OK and doesn't have as many side-effects as others. It's a balancing act. Good for you. Another thing I urge is that people find out exactly what they have had and what it does so they can communicate that in new treatment and steer clear of things they already know are not right for them. I have never had a withdrawal from an SSRI (like Prozac) but there are SSRI's that also include a component that works on other neurotransmitters. One is norepinephrine (Effexor, for instance works on both Serotonin and norepinephrine). The trouble with that one is not as much withdraw as, if you hate it, like I do--hate the giddy, uber-perceptive sort of self-consciousness it causes in me, it takes too long to STOP working. It can be an experiment in anxiety where you wonder if you're gonna go back to normality or are you going to feel like at any second you're going to laugh and cry and slap yourself in the face and say "my sister, my mother, my sister, my mother" like Faye Dunaway in Chinatown. LOL. One AD gave me micro seizures--it's called Sinequan. At first it felt relaxing and then I got electric "buzzers" in my brain that woke me out of a sound sleep. I couldn't wait for that to get out of my system and it made me feel self conscious to a fault too. You really shouldn't feel a withdrawal--I mean a real withdrawal--unless someone has included a benzodiazepine in your regimen--Ativan, lorazepam, Xanax (alprazolam) etc. There seems to be a price of pain and sleeplessness for even a little use of those and they are truly yesterday's meds--they came out as panacea over heavy sedatives that used to stay in your system so long (barbiturates) that you needed an amphetimine to get ready for work. Again, good luck with your quest to find the you you lke best. 1
Bryanp Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 I found cialis much much more powerful and effective than levistra. I think you will be happy if you try it.
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