Would you date a guy who had visited escorts in his past?

[somedude81]

So that you had a clear conscious!

Bwa ha ha ha ah ah ha ha ha!

 

OMG !

 

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

[KungFuJoe]

Your life is going to be sheer hell in about eight or so more years, huh?

 

Holy crap don't remind me. Doesn't help that they are both freakin gorgeous (thanks to me, of course). Half Mexican, quarter white/korean...little spoiled, bratty mutts...and they know how cute they are. Always wanting to dress up, take pictures and get their nails done by mommy.

 

*sigh*

 

I think I'll just ban them from dating until they get married.

[somedude81]

Holy crap don't remind me. Doesn't help that they are both freakin gorgeous (thanks to me, of course). Half Mexican, quarter white/korean...little spoiled, bratty mutts...and they know how cute they are. Always wanting to dress up, take pictures and get their nails done by mommy.

 

*sigh*

 

I think I'll just ban them from dating until they get married.

You do know that will cause them to rebel and act out more than they normally would?

[dreamingoftigers]

This are brilliant questions and I bet that half or more of the women that have answer they would not want a man who has been with prostitutes wouldn't accept/like that a man would not date a woman because her sexual past....

 

I avoided a major "sexual past" so that I could find a partner of similar values.

 

I didn't want a partner who treated their former sexual partners like used tampons and didn't attach to them in any way.

 

I SPECIFICALLY tried to be the kind of person I would end up with.

 

By the time I met my husband I had had two partners. I dated a lot, I was even engaged twice before him but wanted someone with sexual standards because that is what I was bringing to the table.

 

A lot of times it isn't about hypocrisy.

 

I don't think you can ask for any better than what you are willing to provide.

[Negative Nancy]

Would you be concerned that he would keep going or perhaps visit later when things were rough in your marriage?

 

Would it matter to you that he paid women for sex rather than treat sex as something between two loving people?

 

These would be my two main concerns, yes. The first one moreso than the 2nd one.

[Negative Nancy]

exchanging sex for money turns it into a business transaction in which a man becomes entitled to have sex with this woman. Regardless of how she feels about it, and whether she enjoys it or not. I think that, in time, it would warp the man's perception and approach to intimacy.

 

That is my issue with it too. When you have the entitlement and the experience that sex with a woman is available no matter what, it might make such a man having a harder time sticking through a rough patch, i.e. a complicated pregnancy where the woman isnt supposed to have sex. Or afterwards. Or any other medical issue.

 

A man who has experienced that certain types of women are "always available" will not have much tolerance or patience for such issues in his relationship, I imagine, because why should he? He can go bang a hooker, after all!

[Imported]

Doesn't particularly bother me. Hippies, for example, don't give a single **** about how terrible the batteries in their Prius are for the environment. All that really matters is being able to feel self righteous.

 

See if you really cared you'd drive a bicycle or public transportation to your place of employment ( I don't live in the US, very few people have a huge commute to work ).

 

LOL, I got lectured before by a girl because I used a wireless mouse for my computer that had throw away AA batteries instead of rechargeable like the one she uses in her wireless mouse. She went on and on about how bad it was for the environment. I pointed out to her that her rechargeable batteries would also eventually have to be replaced and that she should instead use a wired mouse. I was informed that a rechargeable battery was still better for the environment then a non-rechargeable.....that is, she totally side stepped a real answer. So what I learned is for some "concerned" people, saving the environment is important enough to use wireless mouse with rechargeable battereies, but not important enough to use a wired mouse that wouldn't add anything to batteries being thrown away.

 

Also, the hypocrisy of this thread from women is.....as expected. Don't even judge a women for her past, but your past better be within her acceptable limits.

[dreamingoftigers]

That is my issue with it too. When you have the entitlement and the experience that sex with a woman is available no matter what, it might make such a man having a harder time sticking through a rough patch, i.e. a complicated pregnancy where the woman isnt supposed to have sex. Or afterwards. Or any other medical issue.

 

A man who has experienced that certain types of women are "always available" will not have much tolerance or patience for such issues in his relationship, I imagine, because why should he? He can go bang a hooker, after all!

 

This is what we all don't want to say, but here it is.

 

The less a man attaches sex to being intimate with a person, and that person being special. The more likely he is to have unattached sex. Proven time and time again.

 

In fact as women we hear so much justification for this. "he can go to the strippers but it doesn't mean anything, he LOVES you."

 

Well if he LOVES me than why doesn't he treat my sex as the deepest most intimate gift I can give him, instead of just being another thing from the bargain bin at walmart?

 

If he LOVES me why doesn't he respect my feelings about the whole thing. Why does he have to justify it as "I am a guy, we all do it."

 

We aren't objects to be used and disposed of.

 

Honestly IMHO people treat sex very similarly when they are single as when they are married. A series of unattached sexual encounters and/or a series of short-term relationships where that particular person was the dumper serially show a lack of attachment and a big red flag.

 

My own marriage has been a shining example of that.

[somedude81]

Who is more likely to cheat?

 

A guy who was and may still be a player, has a history of cheating.

 

A guy who has never cheated but seen a couple of hookers during a time in his life when he wasn't in a relationship.

[KungFuJoe]

Who is more likely to cheat?

 

A guy who was and may still be a player, has a history of cheating.

 

A guy who has never cheated but seen a couple of hookers during a time in his life when he wasn't in a relationship.

 

The former. This is not even debatable.

[iris219]

Who is more likely to cheat?

 

A guy who was and may still be a player, has a history of cheating.

 

A guy who has never cheated but seen a couple of hookers during a time in his life when he wasn't in a relationship.

 

Are these ^ our only choices? I'll pass on both.

 

For me, the cheating issue would have nothing to do with it.

[dreamingoftigers]

Are these ^ our only choices? I'll pass on both.

 

For me, the cheating issue would have nothing to do with it.

 

A couple of hookers 10+ years ago and doesn't think it's a good idea or a healthy thing to do / youthful mistake.

 

Maybe.

 

Otherwise, hanging out with my dog at the park is looking like a much more fun and less damaging option.

 

SD81, seriously, which one are you going to date:

 

A) the b-cup who is 150 lbs overweight or

B) The a-cup who is 200 lbs overweight.

 

Hmm... Need a little more time?

[somedude81]

Are these ^ our only choices? I'll pass on both.

 

For me, the cheating issue would have nothing to do with it.

Looking at the past few posts, several female members were against guys who saw prostitutes because they believe he thinks less of sex and is more likely to cheat.

 

If that was the reason, they'd be safer dating a guy who has never cheated but saw a couple of hookers, versus dating a guy who has cheated.

[mesmerized]

Short answer... No. I don't care what his reasoning was for doing so.

 

Pretty much. I would have trouble trusting a guy like that. The only exception would be if he really regretted that experience.

[123321]

Looking at the past few posts, several female members were against guys who saw prostitutes because they believe he thinks less of sex and is more likely to cheat.

 

If that was the reason, they'd be safer dating a guy who has never cheated but saw a couple of hookers, versus dating a guy who has cheated.

 

Anyone who thinks about this question much is wasting time; how is anyone gonna know, seriously? Tigers had the best answer though, it's probably more practical to consider attitude and so on than to try and compute the logistics and financial considerations.

[veggirl]

I don't know how you'd even find out about this. Have any of you actually asked a boyfriend "have you ever paid for sex?"

 

My gut-response is no i would never date a guy who had done that, but then reading through the thread it is quite true that many people want to be told "no worries the past is the past!" for a million different things (drug use, sex, etc) but it doesn't apply to sleeping with an escort.

 

Now if I was on an early date with a guy and he said he'd done this? I'd be done, couldn't really reconcile it in my head I don't think.

 

if my current bf came to me and admitted he slept with an escort once...I can't say I'd leave him.

[ja123]

Sex for Sale American Escort (National Geographic) FULL VIDEO - YouTube

 

I-Team: Rescuing Child Prostitutes From Las Vegas Streets - 8 News NOW

 

 

Police target child prostitutes in Auckland City - Story - NZ News - 3 News

 

 

 

 

Children For Sale (Documentary About Child Prostitutes In Brazil) - YouTube

 

 

 

I agree that trafficking deserves our outrage and action; however, this is another side to prostitution:

 

Scarlet Road - The Passionate Eye - CBC Player

[dreamingoftigers]

I don't know how you'd even find out about this. Have any of you actually asked a boyfriend "have you ever paid for sex?"

 

My gut-response is no i would never date a guy who had done that, but then reading through the thread it is quite true that many people want to be told "no worries the past is the past!" for a million different things (drug use, sex, etc) but it doesn't apply to sleeping with an escort.

 

Now if I was on an early date with a guy and he said he'd done this? I'd be done, couldn't really reconcile it in my head I don't think.

 

if my current bf came to me and admitted he slept with an escort once...I can't say I'd leave him.

 

I did. I asked every probing question under the Sun.

 

I'm just like that though. It can be damned irritating but I'll be damned if I will allow myself to be ignorant of something I could've known otherwise.

 

I knew everything I could probe about:

 

1. Husband's sexual past including the fact he had contracted chylamidia previously.

2. Previous drug use

3. Previous relationships including one broken engagement.

4. Employment history

5. Family history

6. Medical history

7. Financial history

8. Where he's lived and for how long

9. Educational history

 

so I had all of the information. However, at 23, I went "oh a lot of that is behind him now." and most of it was. But really I shouldn't have gotten married so quickly. Maybe waited a few years for all of the flags to fully raise and issues to be uncovered. Marrying quickly mashed all of our as-yet-undealt-with issues that we didn't realize and amplified them.

 

His past actually troubled me for a long time. I had some EMDR to get past the retroactive jealousy. Which at the time I didn't know that was what it was.

 

Guaranteed EVERYONE has issues but it's much nicer to know which ones are most likely going to bite you in the ass later.

 

Funnily enough, I noticed the risk factors and dove in anyway figuring that he loved me much more than he wanted to go back to living on the street and drinking etc. It's been a struggle. But now after 7 years of marriage we know better how to actually address the issues facing us instead of trying to make the other change to fit our individual pictures.

 

In short: I think it would be better if everyone came clean about their past and if they looked at it empirically before getting involved with someone else.

[dreamingoftigers]

You know what, I agree with this. All of it.

 

And you are right that the underlying attitude need not be a gender thing.

 

Since society has encouraged women to be "unashamed" of sex, it has swung too far the other way encouraging young girls to be completely "shameless" and in fact shaming girls for not treating guys like crap and disposably.

 

In fact I felt very shamed by people for choosing not to divorce my husband during our troubles. They expected me to toss the marriage regardless of long-term implications. Two generations ago the majority of people would have shamed me for choosing to divorce if I did so.

 

There is a reckless societal imbalance regarding sex and relationships. Whereas before people were practically trapped/underground in their relationships and sexuality, today it is the opposite: you are never sexual enough and don't EVER and don't let a relationship or partner pull you away from any hedonistic desire.

 

Many men by nature of their biology cannot treat sex the same as women. Men do not associate the same feelings from sex that women do because by nature of our testosterone, we render the oxytocin that releases after sex almost useless. Most men will have a greater tendency to see sex as a way to get off rather than as a bonding experience. That is not to say that men cannot view the act as having a high degree of significance, but they are more likely than not to not see sex as something with emotions like the female variety.

 

You say that someone who has sex with multiple people sees it as less significant in a marriage or relationship. That is true and I will agree with you. Most of my friends who have high number counts have gotten into a relationship with a girl only to break up and some other people will say "hey man, you ok?" and he'll say "meh, she was just another bitch". Most of the guys I know have sex so that they will 1. get more experience and because they like it, and 2. so that they will prevent themselves from seeing girls as something that are unobtainable and special. This is to guard themselves against most girls' tendency to want to date "up" to another guy. When the girl dumps him, his emotional response will be "she was just another bitch" rather than "oh man, I can't live without her, I'm so sad, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah". This latter neediness is the type that turns girls off in the first place as girls don't like "clingy guys". So the male approach (at least in my generation) to casual sex is multifaceted. Most of the guys I know do it so that they will prevent themselves from having pedestalization issues in the long run.

 

Also, if you are going to say that lots of casual sex skews someone's view on sex in relationships and marriage, then look at the new crop of girls, not guys. Most girls have a waaaaaaay higher partner count on average than the guy does in this generation. Twenty, thirty years ago a girl with a partner count of 20 exiting college was seen as "that girl", as an outlier, as an anomaly. Today, 20 is the average. A moderately attractive girl can get that easily. What, if she starts freshman year she can get 5 guys a year. 2.5 guys a semester. That's not hard to achieve especially when slut shaming is admonished in our society and girls are encouraged to reenact "Eat, Pray, Love" or "Sex in the City" ad infinitum until they settle down with a guy who will likely have issue with her number. Now, girls are more likely to see a guy as "just another dick" rather than the love of their life because they have had so many partners on average before they get married whereas the average guy has had much lower. In several years, the trend will be that women see sex as just another way to "clean out the system" and guys will see sex with a girl as something special. I've already seen this in many of contemporaries as a girl once remarked to me that "the only reason I go out is because I need a guy to take care of something for me". A guy I know is still waiting for "the one" to lose his virginity to.

[charlietheginger]

Many women pay for sex. I know of a big women

That likes muscular guys. This women seduces these

Buff guys by buying them clothes let them drive

Her mercedes she pays for their food.

 

Its called a sugar momma she makes lots of money

Knows she will never be twiggy thin. She meets stud

Men and buys them stuff. We joke about her calling

Her " sugar " and see her in the gym with a new boytoy

Bodybuilder every few months.

[dreamingoftigers]

Many women pay for sex. I know of a big women

That likes muscular guys. This women seduces these

Buff guys by buying them clothes let them drive

Her mercedes she pays for their food.

 

Its called a sugar momma she makes lots of money

Knows she will never be twiggy thin. She meets stud

Men and buys them stuff. We joke about her calling

Her " sugar " and see her in the gym with a new boytoy

Bodybuilder every few months.

 

Now think about how hot that gets you, and that's about how hot it gets me when I see a guy pay for sex etc.

 

(caveat: this only works if you find it a turnoff!)

[ascendotum]

That is my issue with it too. When you have the entitlement and the experience that sex with a woman is available no matter what, it might make such a man having a harder time sticking through a rough patch, i.e. a complicated pregnancy where the woman isnt supposed to have sex. Or afterwards. Or any other medical issue.

 

A man who has experienced that certain types of women are "always available" will not have much tolerance or patience for such issues in his relationship, I imagine, because why should he? He can go bang a hooker, after all!

 

NN - imo, you could say the exact same for a guys at the other end of the spectrum...good looking players. Numerous 'hot catch' guys I have known took many of their gfs for granted because it was so easy to find another one.

In the convos I have had with women, their scorn over guys who have visited a pro is not due to morality issues or he sees sex as a commodity but more so along the lines of what revolver said (he had to pay to get it). The thing is its not just hard ups who use them. Many guys in stale marriages do, as well as many successful men purely because they can and want to enjoy the finer things in life. Tens of millions from your wall street heros each year goes to 'entertaining expenses'

[bodhesatva]

This may be too practical an answer, but my guess is "yes," because it's the sort of thing you won't likely know until you're already well in to a relationship. It would be like dating a guy who had very kinky sex in the past (but doesn't necessarily want it now). How would you know about it? It's not the sort of thing most people talk about on the first date, or the second. It's the sort of thing you might never find out about, or find out about months later when you're already happy and well in to the relationship.

 

Would you really break up with a boy you've gotten to know and love over several months because he visited an escort long ago? Or because he used to like to be whipped, or something?

 

I know this seems like an almost annoyingly practical answer, but I strongly suspect this is how it would actually play out. Unless you specifically ask the question, "have you ever been to an escort in your life?" on the first date -- which frankly sounds really weird -- it strikes me as the sort of thing you may never know about your boyfriend or husband, or the sort of thing you find out months or years later when breaking up for that reason will seem very silly.

[KathyM]

I wouldn't knowingly date a guy who had sex with prostitutes. It shows lack of character, lack of morals, lack of respect for women and for himself, objectification of women, putting your lust ahead of the welfare of others, lack of principles, disregard for one's sexual health, lack of self control, etc., etc. I'd also be concerned that he may have picked up an STD that he's either not aware of or that is dormant, which he might pass on because of his carelessness about his sexual health.

[Revolver]

If We're going to keep it real and like I've said in other threads, most of the opposition to prostitution from women have nothing to do with morality,religion, or even oppression. It all comes down to a simple

 

"I just don't like it that a man can just go and pay for ass. Something about that upsets me"

 

Lets be honest They could give a damn about most prostitutes(probably would shun them if they saw one on the street), that's just the cover for the real issue. Many have admitted this to me, and yea that's your right to have an opinion but you can't legislate laws based on your own morals.