Neo Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 I met an Asian girl online who is the same age I am (17), but unfortunately on the other end of the country. We both hit it off pretty well (we have a lot of similar opinions and thoughts). I know that sentence alone doesn't do it justice but imagine two people who have so many similar tastes and ideas that it's almost psychic. We've discussed so many subjects and we agree on all of them in the same manner. We even have similar views of what feels good physically, and we compliment each other physically in certain fashions (ie. she likes sleeping on the right side of bed, while I go for the left, she likes being on top, me on bottom, we both like cuddling, etc). We've known each other for about two months now and we've hardly let a day go by without many hours of talking online and chatting on the phone. We've also had phone sex on many occasions (not the descriptive kind, just pleasuring ourselves while listening to each other). Basically things have gone well on the long-distance end. We both like each other very very much. She had recently gotten out of a bad relationship as had I, and she has told me that before she met me her life was stressful. She's said that I make her so happy, giving her things to look forward to in her life; she feels like she has become a better person. In short, things are perfect. However, I am going to be flying over to meet her for a week or two. We're technically girlfriend/boyfriend even though we have never before met in person. We've seen what each other looks like and all, by the way. Both of us spoke on the phone about things. We agreed that we could see each other having sex together during this visit. On the other hand, she doesn't know if she wants to take it slowly. It's a case where we could do *everything* and leave each other going "wow", or we could take it slow and "cutesy" and leave more to look forward to later. Problem is, we don't have much time to be with each other until college, assuming things go well by then. However I am just worried about our first visit. We've both put a lot of pressure on each other; we've called each other perfect. We are both suckers for "hold me in your arms and let us fall asleep together"-style of romance. Sorry if this topic seems like it's jumping around everywhere... My main questions: -What should we do about the sex issue? -How should we greet each other? We've become so close online/through phone but we are technically strangers. -Any other ideas/suggestions that would help lots?
EC Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 Wow you sound so cute..lol excited and nervous all at the same time. I lover that feeling. First of all when you greet her just go with the flow. Follow her lead. If you see she's going to shake hands shake hands if she wants a kiss on the cheek plant one on the cheek. Don't just get off the plane and attack her. And second, you don't plan sex out. I'm going to do it like this and like this...no.. You do it however it feels right when your doing it. Cutesy or 'wow' ? whichever comes out. I would vote 'wow' if I had to though becasue life is short and you never now how things will turn out in college and if you'll see her again so leave a good impression lol;) Besides sex should always be wow! But relax, don't be so nervous and just don't forget to be yourself. Have fun! Let me know how it goes.
honey2005 Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 You're only 17 and you're flying over to meet her? Where will you be staying? I hope not with her, you haven't even met her yet or her family, what happens if you don't get along with them at all? I don't mean to sound as if I'm against the LDR thing, because I am definitely not. My boyfriend lives on the other side of the world, also, and I've known him for 3 years. I'm 17, too, almost 18, and I can't see myself going all the way across the world to meet someone I've only known 2 months. But that's not what you want to hear, so I'll go ahead and answer your quesitons. What should we do about the sex issue? You'll probably be really shy and under alot of pressure when you first meet her, so that's really up to how you two feel when you're together. Just because you have the spark on the phone or online doesn't mean it will be there when you're in person. I really don't think 2 months is enough time to get to know someone well enough to travel across the world for them, much less have sex with them. If this is only about sex to you two, I really recommend not going. You can "just have sex" with people over here, no need to put yourself in danger traveling to a different country without supervision (that is if you aren't bringing along an adult). If it's not about sex, more about love, don't worry so much about the sex issues. If you're heart is set on going to visit her, please bring along an adult and don't stay in their home. You are setting yourself up for some serious problems. How should we greet each other? We've become so close online/through phone but we are technically strangers. Just greet her like you would a friend. You traveled across the world for her, don't blow it by being too shy to say hello. Any other ideas/suggestions that would help lots? Don't travel alone, but if you are, make sure you have some place safe to stay in case being with her doesn't work out. Don't be too upset if she's not what you expected. People can act alot different online or on the phone than they do in real life. And besides that, just have fun and be safe.
cinnamonstix49 Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 First of all... I would like to say that I am NOT against long distance relationships. I am currently in one and have been for almost 2 years, I have not had phone sex, real sex, or anything like that. We've talked on the phone every night-with the acception of about 5-for the entire length of our relationship. I did not meet him after 2 months of speaking either... I waited a full year and even then I met him on a family vacation at the beach. You do know that you can get stds from having sex... right? Also you do know your chance of getting stds is higher when you have sex with a stranger... right? Also, you do know that she could be a 47 year old woman with hairy moles on her face, or a 50 year old man with rotten teeth... right? Are you going to be staying with her family? You do know that there is a high possibility that they are dangerous people... right? Maybe they will kill you, or maybe they will rob you, maybe they will cut you up and eat you, and save the rest of your body in the freezer... you really can't be sure. Also, if you are staying with her family, do you REALLY plan to have sex in their house!? That is VERY disrespectful, and could also lead to angry father syndrome--which could, potentially, be very painful for you. Originally posted by Neo We agreed that we could see each other having sex together during this visit. On the other hand, she doesn't know if she wants to take it slowly. It's a case where we could do *everything* and leave each other going "wow", or we could take it slow and "cutesy" and leave more to look forward to later. Problem is, we don't have much time to be with each other until college, assuming things go well by then. Is sex the only thing the two of you care about? You've been speaking for 2 months and already having phone sex!? You've never met her before and you want to have sex with her!? Why does having a slow NORMAL relationship have to be "cutesy" LOTS of NORMAL people do it. You don't plan to carry this relationship through college? You plan to f*c- her and then leave her!? WHAT KIND OF PERSON DOES THAT!? Well, good luck.
Author Neo Posted August 21, 2004 Author Posted August 21, 2004 Clarification. I am visiting to go visit colleges with her before applications this year. Her family is not psycho or anything... even if you do not believe me, please assume this is so. I have lots of proof that I can talk about if anyone is interested. But yes I am flying alone, and yes I am staying in her house. We both have long-term desires... as in we don't want to just meet for sex and then be on our way. We want a long-term relationship if possible.
Author Neo Posted August 21, 2004 Author Posted August 21, 2004 sami: Eh, that's inherently subjective though, no?
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