irc333 Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 There's this woman I know, I only call her a "fair weather" friend because she's had a history of not being able to be relied upon for anything really. She's cool to talk to, but expect her to flake out on plans that even SHE makes. The shocking thing is, she's been in a 5 year, live-in relationship with a man that I'm suprised that they are still together. Could never really picture them together, because he's a well put together guy from the midwest, never married, no kids....and well, she's a single mom, but they're grown up and out of the house now. But he did put up with her kids crap the latter half of their high school years. SO I was just curious, how can someone like that, even treat their boyfriend well? She told me that they've gotten a long very well, that their "secret" is letting each other do their own thing pretty much....but I'm curious how he tolerates her BS....unless of course she doesn't flake with the person she loves?
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 I have the feeling that your idea of what makes a "flake" is rather unique, and that she probably offers a lot to the person she's chosen to spend her life with. Maybe to the kids she's raised and to her closes friends, too. Being wishy washy about social plans is not really a gigantic character flaw.
phineas Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 You are simply not that important to them. Hence, they flake.
xxoo Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Priorities. She probably misses social stuff because her family needs her. My partner and kids always come first!
Mrlonelyone Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Yeah if she's got kids that are up and out of the house then if she was flaky it may have been a product of raising those kids. Even if it wasn't a specific thing she had to do, the kids can drain the energy out of you so you don't want to do anything. Now if we were talking about a flaky young woman who has no real responsibilities then yes, it would probably be maddening to be in a relationship with such a person. Character is character and how you treat people dosen't fundamentally change based on weather they are in a LTR with you or not. If plans and promises are made then barring a good reason to break those promises they should be kept. That's just a basic and universal value of every society. That is especially true in a relationship.
phineas Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 The reality is... most men in the developed world today.. probably about 90%... are total wimps. There standards are dirt low and they will marry and commit to toxic waste just to get access to sex. Its very sad. The woman you describe sounds like she is mentally 12 years old (like all flaky women). Women who can't be reliable are immature and irresponsible. The reason they "get along" is because the guy has low standards. Simple as that. Yep. I don't tolerate flakes. Once is a ok, but more than once? SEE YA!
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