nbee Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Hi everyone I'm new here, but I like what I see, so I would like to ask your advice... So here is the quick story... On new years eve I went to party in a bar where a friend was djing and with other friends. I met a guy, we talked, danced, got drunk. He introduced me to another couple - his friends. They were all really nice and I got on well with them all. The girl seemed to be encouraging the guy I was talking to hang out with me. The couple left, but invited us back to their house. The guy stayed with me in the bar. Then the party finished and my friends were all going to an after party at a friends house. I left with the guy to get a taxi, but we decided to go to his friends house and to see if they wanted to go to the other party with us. We hang out at the house and then we all went to the other party. We stayed there for a couple of hours and then the 4 of us went back to the friends house again. This guy and I ended up staying there in the spare room - it was 8am already! We had sex (a bit drunken, so not the best, but anyway... ). We all got up very late and I hang out there with them for a couple if hours and then me and the guy left. We said goodbye and he told me he would call.. I never asked the girl for her number as it didn't occur to me that I wouldn't speak to the guy again. We got on really well and I had wanted to introduce her to a friend of mine re. possible future work. The evening had been fun and I felt a good energy between us all. So I didn't hear from the guy for 5 days, so I decided to call him. I also wanted to talk to him to see if he would be interested in doing some modelling for a photoshoot that I am doing (I'm a photographer). He didn't pick up the phone. So I decided to send a text (I hate leaving voice messages as so many people don't bother to listen). I just sent a quick one saying I hope that he had recovered from the party and did he fancy a drink this week? He never replied. So now, 5 days later, I'm wondering whether to text again. The point is that it is ok for me if he isn't interested in a relationship. Everyone has their own lives and it could be that he has just split up from someone or who knows what other thing going on. What I HATE is that I thought we had all had a really nice time that evening, with really good energy and that I had just maybe made 3 new friends. New year, new energy, new paths etc... And now I can't even contact the girl as I don't have her number. And I really would like to ask him about the photo shoot... So should I bother to text again? I've been trying to compose a text, but everything I write seems to me like it sounds like a bit of a line.... I don't want to appear desperate! Also, if he doesn't reply then I'm guess that I am going to feel even worse.... Also not sure what to say... Thanks
Balzac Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Define your purpose first. IF you are offering a modeling gig, text him w direct n specific info. That's not a line it's a job offer. Beyond that, let it go. Start w the offer of a modeling gig and then evaluate the other angle.
sid3 Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 I think you're going to appear desperate regardless of what you compose in the text. An ignored call and text does not bode well for third attempt. Seems obvious you're being ignored. 1
Emilia Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 He didn't pick up the phone. So I decided to send a text (I hate leaving voice messages as so many people don't bother to listen). I just sent a quick one saying I hope that he had recovered from the party and did he fancy a drink this week? He never replied. So now, 5 days later, I'm wondering whether to text again. The point is that it is ok for me if he isn't interested in a relationship. Everyone has their own lives and it could be that he has just split up from someone or who knows what other thing going on. What I HATE is that I thought we had all had a really nice time that evening, with really good energy and that I had just maybe made 3 new friends. New year, new energy, new paths etc... And now I can't even contact the girl as I don't have her number. And I really would like to ask him about the photo shoot... Welcome to LS. It doesn't matter why you would want to contact him again, he ignored your previous attempts. That would not make him a good friend let alone dating partner.
Author nbee Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 hmmm.. actually i was thinking it would be the second attempt as the call/text happened at the same time. ie. when he didn't pick up i sent a text rather than leave a voice message. i was hoping that this text would be taken more as a hey let's be friends regardless because i had fun hanging out with you and i would like to keep in contact and possibly work together..
Emilia Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 hmmm.. actually i was thinking it would be the second attempt as the call/text happened at the same time. ie. when he didn't pick up i sent a text rather than leave a voice message. i was hoping that this text would be taken more as a hey let's be friends regardless because i had fun hanging out with you and i would like to keep in contact and possibly work together.. Doesn't matter. You asked him for a drink and he ignored you, why would you want to keep in touch with someone wo doesn't even reply? I'm not trying to upset you just giving you the rational response that I think you need.
Balzac Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 My question is would he have any way to know who the text was from? Had you ever provided him your phone number? I ignore texts from unknowns.
Emilia Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 I ignore texts from unknowns. Even if they ask you out for a drink? You don't ask: 'who is this?' 'is this the girl I have just had sex with?' I've re-read the post and it says he promised that he would call so I guess he has her number.
Balzac Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Even if they ask you out for a drink? You don't ask: 'who is this?' 'is this the girl I have just had sex with?' I've re-read the post and it says he promised that he would call so I guess he has her number. Yeah, I read that too. Drunk evening it's possible he's not savvy about using his smart phone but just as likely he had no interest and dumped her from his list of potentials. Rather unlike a guy tho who keeps a booty call list.
Emilia Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Yeah, I read that too. Drunk evening it's possible he's not savvy about using his smart phone but just as likely he had no interest and dumped her from his list of potentials. Rather unlike a guy tho who keeps a booty call list. True but as they had sex a few days ago I think even someone clueless would guess who that text is from. It's extremely unlikely that he would ignore that if he wanted to catch up/go out/etc. I mean he would have to be a retard not to put 2 and 2 together.
Balzac Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Even if they ask you out for a drink? You don't ask: 'who is this?' 'is this the girl I have just had sex with?' I've re-read the post and it says he promised that he would call so I guess he has her number. No argument from me. I generally avoid ONS. So, no.
Author nbee Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 hi guys well we swapped numbers when we were still in the bar, when his friends decided to leave and before he decided to stay. we were drunk at the time and i actually put his name in my phone as a different name and called him. i think. i can't remember what he did at the time with my number / name. we were joking at the time about names. so i think i have his number correct and i think he has mine... in any case when i sent the text, my iphone says the message was delivered... emilia i wasn't upset by your first post - i hadn't read it when i replied! balzac - what is ONS?
sid3 Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Well then send him another text message rather than sit around wondering. You really have nothing to lose.
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