Spinzel Posted August 21, 2004 Posted August 21, 2004 People who watch pornos are hardly in a situation to judge other people about acting in them. How does it make them look, then?
Author shamen Posted August 23, 2004 Author Posted August 23, 2004 Spock: He is hot and over 6'! Moi: Where did the Statler and Waldorf come from? I must admit that I'm really surprised over the level of yes votes for going out with this guy again. I mean, I think there was only 1 (maybe 2) people who said no to it. I would've expected it to be a lot higher. But then again, maybe the people who would say no aren't reading this thread because it says "porno" in the title. Spinzel: While I do watch pornos, I would not act in one. How does it make me look? I don't know. Like the myriad other amount of people in the world who do watch pornos but wouldn't act in one? Help me out here. You may be right, maybe I don't have the right to judge him on this; I'm still working this out.
moimeme Posted August 23, 2004 Posted August 23, 2004 Moi: Where did the Statler and Waldorf come from? http://web.inter.nl.net/users/C.Talboom/muppets/statwald.htm
Author shamen Posted August 23, 2004 Author Posted August 23, 2004 Moi: OMG! I completely forgot about those two from the Muppet Show! How in the world did you even remember their names? I was surprised to get a yes vote from you too, to be honest. I haven't been on LS anywhere as long as you, but still surprised somehow as I see your posts everywhere. Just goes to show, you never know, eh?
moimeme Posted August 23, 2004 Posted August 23, 2004 I was surprised to get a yes vote from you too, to be honest. I haven't been on LS anywhere as long as you, but still surprised somehow as I see your posts everywhere. Just goes to show, you never know, eh? Then you haven't read enough of my posts to know I'm not anti-porn. I'm all about giving people chances. There are people you have to watch out for and there are people who'll cause you grief, but I think we can be too hasty to judge people in general. People I care a lot about have done things in their lives that they weren't proud of or that might not be wonderful, but they learned and changed and moved on. As someone else said, the difference between him and a lot of other guys is that he had sex with a lot of women and got paid for it rather than having it free. Which isn't much of a difference, really. Most of all, I know great guys are, unfortunately, rare. So if this one is the sort to be loyal and faithful and honest and loving, then don't let him slip away.
Spinzel Posted August 23, 2004 Posted August 23, 2004 My point was that anyone who watches porn but would criticize him after recognizing him in one is akin to the pot calling the kettle black. I know there's a difference between watching porn and acting in it, but it's not like either is something you would brag about to a priest, y'know?
Author shamen Posted February 19, 2005 Author Posted February 19, 2005 OK... this is completely crazy.... Decided back in early Sept. 2004 that I couldn't date the porno guy. I got back with my ex a couple of months after this post in August 2004 and we broke up at the beginning of January 2005. Fast forward to the middle of January and I get another email from porno date guy and he says that he would like to reconnect. I said, "Sure," since I have decided since then that I could've handled it. I figured hey, this is a part of this man's past, so friggin' what? I had things that I needed to say to him about my past and he knows them from that first date night too. Regardless, I'm completely single again after 4 years of on again off again with my ex. So, we've been emailing (porno date guy and I) for the last few weeks as he was "in another country" for the last whatever amount of months working. Getting reconnected. Talking on the phone to see if we can actually get together. I'm busy, he's busy, whatever. No big loss, I've got lots of friends. Last night we were talking on the phone about his experience in Mardi Gras this past Fat Tuesday and he said to me that he got a bunch of beads. I asked him how he got them and he said, "Ring toss." I asked him what it was and he said that I'd figure it out later. 20 seconds later I assumed that it had to be him naked from the waist down and so on (I'm sure that you can get the picture)... Didn't ask him about it, didn't comment, other than, "You're crazy." It's so funny. I decided back in late September that I could hang out with this guy and then I got back together with my ex. Reconnect with porno date man and even though he's no longer in pornos, he's still playing like he is porno star. Bummer. Don't know if I can even rebound with a man who's doing what I can only imagine he's doing if he's getting beads from a "ring toss" at Fat Tuesday in New Orleans... I'm no angel in this either. I'm not looking for a big relationship from anyone right now as I just got out of a big one, but again, I'm in a quandry. Can I go out with "ring toss boy" again or not? I feel like all of a sudden I'm back at square one with him. Opinions? Here I am again asking for suggestions on this same man. Nope, not looking for a relationship here, but do I even bother with him at a position as rebound boy? Yes, I know, I'm awful... PS... I still haven't asked him about the videos that he was in and no, I couldn't find them by searching under his name!
einahpets Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 somehow i missed this thread the first time around. the ring toss is kinda sketchy, but i agree with most of the others. its not like you have to get serious with the guy yet. you can give him a couple dates to see how you really felt about him. even if it doesn't work out at least you can say you dated a porn star. not many of us can say that. now about that name.....i bet i could find out what movies he was in. hell, i might even own one!
moimeme Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 Might as well give him a shot (snicker). No, I'm being serious - just noticed the pun. Really, it's to his credit that he's back again. He may have been comparison shopping and found you to still be the best deal. Isn't Mardi Gras like Vegas (i.e. the famous 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas)?
Author shamen Posted February 19, 2005 Author Posted February 19, 2005 Einahpets, I'm not looking to get in a relationship right now, so I don't think that I could ever look for anything to be serious with him. Just someone to date for a little while. Regardless, yeah, ring toss is sketchy. I need to ask him again about his on screen name to find a video; it would be too funny! I was bummed when I couldn't find his name. Moi, Yeah, it was weird to receive his email again. Comparison shopping, ! He did say that he had a great time on our first date the first time that we talked when we reconnected... Maybe you're right about the what happens at Mardi Gras stays at Mardi Gras. As long as he isn't doing any ring tosses here, eh?
einahpets Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 unless you're into that kind of thing....
Author shamen Posted February 19, 2005 Author Posted February 19, 2005 Ring tosses, you mean? Ummm, no, I really can't see myself doing that...
Beth Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 That's a difficult situation. I can try to imagine how I would handle it, but not being in the situation how I want to handle it and how I would actually handle it may be two different things! If he's so open (and proud?) of being in porno's I would ask him which ones and if he had copies so I could watch them. Not because I would want to see a porno, but to verify that he was being honest with me about it. I would be more likely to give him the benefit of the doubt regarding the ring toss incident (sounds like a bad spy movie!) and that would make me more comfortable about dating him. Its not the pornos so much, as honesty. If he couldn't produce the movies or give me reliable information to track them down myself then I would ditch him. If he's honest about it then I would be honest too and tell him that I was not interested in a relationship, or even FWB, but just in companionship and fun with some romantic asides (not necessarily sexual). There is nothing wrong with having some fun with someone, no matter what job they've done in the past (as long as it was not illegal). We are more than our jobs.
Author shamen Posted February 19, 2005 Author Posted February 19, 2005 Hi Beth, I don't think it's so much that he's proud of the fact that he was in pornos when he was younger... he told me back in August that the reason he told me on our first date was because he had a bad experience with an exgf that found out a year and a half or so into the relationship. She broke up with him for it. To be honest, I didn't ask him too much about the experience at the time, just what his screen name was. There were several guys with the same name and I'm not going to watch all of the pornos with that name just to see him in one. I guess what I need to do is ask for a title, eh? We haven't seen each other yet again as our schedules aren't seeming to mesh at all and it's not really something that I want to talk about with him over the phone or via email. Believe me, when we do actually see each other again, I will ask him about this again as it's bothered me a bit that I couldn't find one with him in it. The problem is that the boxes don't usually come with pictures of the guys' faces on them. You're right in that I should probably tell him that I'm not looking for a relationship. I don't know what his intentions are either, so all of this part of the discussion will come later when we actually do see each other. I don't know if I could have this discussion on a second date. Again, phones and email don't work for this kind of thing either with a new person that one is dating, IMHO. This is a totally new ground for me, but I know that I need to be careful; really with anybody new. Dating is new ground after over six years in two long term relationships!
einahpets Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 what about a well thought out/composed email? tell him you would like to give it a shot (if you are), and address all the concerns you have told us here. it is easier to get things out when it is written down. i am a big face to face person too, but since your schedules aren't meshing it seems you may not see him for a while. you would feel a lot better if you got this out...it may not weigh on your mind as much. just a thought.
Author shamen Posted February 19, 2005 Author Posted February 19, 2005 Thanks for the suggestion einahpets, but I don't think that I could do this in an email. I can wait until we see each other again (probably this week or for sure the next). It's not really weighing on my mind in a big bad way, it's just there. After so many years in a relationship, I'm seriously OK with taking my time on anything that I do in terms on the dating world. It's so funny that he got back in contact with me just weeks after I broke up with my ex for the millionth and last time. The world can be just too karmic that this same question that I had posed for myself back in August has represented itself in February. And I do look at it differently. Yes, I am going to see what happens with him. Again, it's all about fun right now. No heavy relationship as I'm not at that point in my life right now.
Author shamen Posted February 26, 2005 Author Posted February 26, 2005 Hello again, so I've got a new update... We've been talking occasionally on the phone and finally we found a time where we could get together. I see him again on Monday. He's taking me out to dinner. You can tell that it's not a first date anymore as we've made it to the second date. After six months! Anyway, not expecting anything to big to come out of the date. Looking forward to talking to him again in person though, as phone conversations with someone that you don't know really well are always kind of weird. The biggest memory I have of him is that he was beautiful, intelligent and that we had an incredible conversation in person. I hope that the good conversation repeats itself. I will bring up the porno thing again, just to get a title I can watch (and no, I'm not going to give it up here either! ). I've got to know if he's being completely honest with me though. It's about honesty, like Beth said earlier.
tokyo Posted February 26, 2005 Posted February 26, 2005 I think if you don´t mind the fact that he was in porns (and I think that´s more a question of personal taste than a moral issue) than he sounds great. I´m not sure how my reaction would be if I found out that my date had starred in pornos especially if he was good-looking and smart, but it´s definitely better than a guy who abuses alcohol and takes drugs. The latter is just not a problem of personal values and morals anymore, but he´s simply not relationship material and I´m glad you´re out again to find something better. Hey, at least you know that the new one is surely superfantastic in bed
Author shamen Posted February 26, 2005 Author Posted February 26, 2005 Originally posted by kooky I´m not sure how my reaction would be if I found out that my date had starred in pornos especially if he was good-looking and smart, but it´s definitely better than a guy who abuses alcohol and takes drugs. The latter is just not a problem of personal values and morals anymore, but he´s simply not relationship material and I´m glad you´re out again to find something better. Hey, at least you know that the new one is surely superfantastic in bed Oh, absolutely he's better than an alcoholic drug abuser. It's time to be out and about. I'm still not ready for a serious relationship. I almost feel like I've been single since last April even though I ended up with my ex again for a few months. It's not that I think that porno star couldn't be relationship material really... Who knows? It's more about me not being ready for anything serious. I do have to tell him that. I don't have any clue where his head is at. Guess I'll learn on Monday! I'll keep you informed as to how it goes. And yeah, I'm sure he'd be great in bed!
miso Posted February 26, 2005 Posted February 26, 2005 shamen i didnt read past about the first 3 pages of this, it is very long but from what i read, you like this guy you just arent sure if you should, youre not really sure what the consensus is on dating porn stars just date him for *****sake
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