Sullenangel Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 [color=darkblue][/color][font=courier new][/font] I am very unsure if I am over reacting or what I should do...someone please help. I have caught my fiance on Internet porn sites several times and have always asked him to stop. One thing that bother me is that today I saw a site with a girl who looked no older then fourteen and normally the sites are all teen ones. I have asked him to stop and he always denies it at first and then confesses later as well. Our sex life has been non-existent over the past year and a half and I have caught him masturbating while I was in bad or just walking into the room . I met him when I was sixteen and he was in his twentys I am now twenty-one and he is twenty-seven. He was really sexual with me when we first met and used to call me his little girl (even when we were having sex)and now he seems to not want to have sex as often and most of the time it is with himself or on porn sites. I know he loves me and he tells me that all the time he even asked me to marry him, but I have my doubts because of all this. I told him one year my concerns around him liking teens and I jokingly said that he won't want me when I get old. he responded with "well you will never look old" he made an example of my mother who looks no older then thirty and she is 50. I feel that the only reason why he is still with me is cause I still look like I am sixteen I am "5"3 and REALLY tiny. He has even said it jokingly but I know him and I know he was saying it truthfully. He even likes for me to dress up in my school uniform for sex. Is there something wrong with him....or is it just me? Please respond.....I am about to pull my own hair out.
Kat Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 I think you have concerns about his fantasy's, not so much porn.
zara Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 I had a BF who has similar issues. Even though i am three years older than him i look very young, about 12 years younger than my 28 years, and when i first met my BF i habitually wore my hir in bunches and baggy jeans. Throughout our relationship he called me his little girl and his favourite polaroid pic of me was one where i am in white ankle socks and panties and a kids tee-shirt pulling my bunches out. The angle of it means you can't see my curvy hips and i look like a real 13 year old child. My psychologist friend was shocked when she saw it and heard that he called me his little girl, liked me to call him Daddy, especially when we were having sex (i'd often wear school uniform or ankle socks and bunches) and when we split up once he started seeing a 17 year old. She also said that my having breast implants was probably one of the reasons he dumped me, because they made me look less like a child, and i think that's true. He left me six weeks after i got them having reduced our sex life to virtually zero and stopped taking me out in public. She also says that he has a manipulative personality and would class him as a potential danger to teenaged girls "Whilst he was with you, he could keep that in check, you fulfilled that need, but now, he could become dangerous." I don't know where he is now or what he does to fulfill those urges and i really don't want to think about it. But those were my circumstances and i just want you to know you are not the only one. I felt okay with it, because i played on it and we did have a fantastic sex life, but if you are not comfortable to do that then you need to give some serious thought regarding the future of this relationship. You say that you have told him his porn use makes you uncomfortable. I feel the same way about porn and had several arguments with my ex about it. my 'get back' tactics seemed to work though of leaving lots of gay porn around for him to find and telling him that it didn't mean i thought less of him, i just liked to use it... But like Kat says, i think it's the subject that raises biggest concerns...
Author Sullenangel Posted August 20, 2004 Author Posted August 20, 2004 I think that may just be it, Now that you menioned it it makes it clearer to me what my major cconcerns are. It is the type of porn he is looking at that does bother me. It is never of actual women and I noticed this about a year ago when I had first found out about his porn searching. I remember that on one of the sites he was on had a heading that it was of of the youngest teens like the barely legal ones and inside it had pictures of girls who looked like they were twelve. I cannont understand why that would be a turn on for him. They are little girls and this really disgusts me. I never thought anything about him being with me when I was sixteen becasue obviously that is not something someone at that age would catch on to but obviously I was his fantasy back then. A couple weeks ago I had called him a petaphile out of anger and the next time we had sex I dressed up in my school uniform (because he seems to pay more attention when I do) but that time he didn't do anything and completely ignored I had it on. He then later told me after I asked him what was wrong that he felt uncomfortable because of what I had said the week before. He said he wanted to pretend he was my teacher but didn't cause he felt weird due to the recent comment I had made. I am sure he knows that this is wrong because why else would he feel uncomfortable? Thanks for replying
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