fiat500 Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 So it's been a while since I've been on here. The road to recovery was a long and difficult one for me. I never got closure so it was harder to deal with the fact that it was never going to come through a sudden apology or email. If I think about the ex now i don't feel much of anything..but it took a long time to get there. The one thing that has been bothering me though is that I still have an aversion toward facebook and when I remember the end of the relationship brought about through a cold instant message I still feel that brief pang of humiliation and heartbreak. Has anyone ever gotten over an ex yet still feel cheated by the way it ended/how you were treated by them?
stevie_23 Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Ahhhhh yes indeed, INDEED. I was just thinking about this last night while reading and watching TV (constant distractions, as always). I was thinking...I accept he loved me deeply, I accept that probably everything he said he meant at the time he said it, I accept I am an ok and worthwhile person and nothing he did can change that, and I accept that I will be ok and will get over him in time. HOWEVER...I was not sure if I will EVER be able to get over HOW he ended it. Just walking away...no contact at all. He let me think it was my fault we were over, when in fact it wasn't (he did tell me finally and explain somewhat, though not in a way sufficient for my needs). He went silent for 8 days, then wrote a song which he posted on a music forum he knows I check, and it was telling me "it's done" and all of that. It was only 3 days after THAT that he finally told me in an email directly that we were over, that he'd tried to move on (and it wasn't my fault, which I know is true based on our history) but it was so difficult. WHO TRIES TO MOVE ON WITHOUT TELLING THEIR PARTNER OF ALMOST TWO F**KING YEARS THEY'RE DOING IT!?!?!?!?!?! Sorry. See though? Not over the way he did it. And maybe never will be.
andytenshi Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 not so much for me. usually when I get over the person I get over the whole relationship. however when I am dealing with rejection/breakup and getting bummed about it I tend to dwell on all the past breakups and bad memories as well as the current one.
D-Lish Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 I've definitely ruminated over words that were said during a break up long after I got over the person. I had an ex that went all out and said the things he knew would hurt me the most. Those words stuck with me for a vey long time. He apologized a year later, said he hadn't meant them- but it's been 6 years and I remember the words clearly- even though I don't remember as much about him. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Yup, I will always remember the crappy way he dumped me - TWICE. Over text mssging, and he was so mean and abusive, told me so many nasty things about how messed up and moody I was, etc. I know he was projecting like crazy, but it sometimes doesn't help ease the pain and anger and humiliation at the way he did it, and my total inability to say anything in defense... because I was too distraught... Instead, I told him I "could work on my problems", "we can make this work", "I promise I will fix my problems," and "I love you." *Facepalm*.
Sugarkane Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Yes I remember you fiat500. I think at least having some closure would've helped me too. Instead of my ex blaming everything on me. It's a lot to take- being blindsided and then all this shyte on top of it. I would've wasted so much time depressed and thinking about it. I don't know how people can be so cruel. I don't know how they can't wonder about us and still have never been contacted 2 years later. Getting contacted 6 years later! WTF? It's a bit rich of them to take that long. It still scares me that someone can just up and leave and never contact you again. These people seem to go against the grain on here, of "I'm friends with all my exes!". I'd have a hard time not being a prick to these people. I still hope 2 years later someone screws these people over. 1
Sugarkane Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Why do they have to dump and say abusive/ most Ahole things? I'll never get back with someone like this ever. I'd laugh in their face.
listen_to_me_please Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 (edited) Its been a little over 5 years since my breakup. Turns out the ex was cheating. It took a while to get over the relationship itself, maybe 3 years, but after that I am sort of upset about how she went about ending it. The least she could of done was say "I'm fawking someone else" but nope, what did she say "I want to get closer to god so we can't have sex and I actually believed her, what did she say... "I see how you treated people whom disrespect you" so in her mind that was HER reason for not telling me but in reality and me finding out from someone else, all it did was make me realize just what a whore bag she was and when it came to light all she did was beg and plead for a little while then began to really disrespect me verbally which in turn severly hurt me for several years but yeah I'm pass that now. It just left a bad taste in my mouth, I do still care for her, don't think that will go away but just knowing how she treated me in the end, that kind of person is not good for the soul. This is off topic but in real-life I think she didn't tell me because she knew the money would of stopped. Then the girl pops up 3 years later and ask's me to buy her something.... Go figure. Edited January 11, 2013 by listen_to_me_please
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