andygohome Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 hi all, We have been married for almost 6 years, two wonderful little boys. both professionals, (legal and educational field) working couple. So basically a classic middle income couple. Problem: my wife (W) tends to lie about things, niggling lies and it just grates me. 1) 3 yrs back: she had been texting a old flame and when I found out, we had a big fight and I told her to stop it. Coincidentally, her mum happened to visit, when I told her mum, W told her she didnt (just lied straight to her face) and had quickly deleted the msgs, just lied just like that, after her mum left, she admitted she lied. Anyway she apologized and I told her to severe any contact and to delete his contact on FB. she said ok, she will delete. 2 yrs back: lo and behold, a*hole wished her b'day and she replied thank you. This week while looking thru her fb for a photo she wanted to show me on her page, I found out and then I pointed it out, she said, she had zero contact, and just replied out of courtesy, I told her thats not the main issue, it was the fact, she lied to me. Her retort: this is a trivial issue and why should I get upset? 2) Before marriage, W told me she was a virgin. She knew I had a more colorful past (several gfs, an ex-wife but no kids from that marriage). I told her it didnt matter if she was or not. it is our behaviour after marriage that is more impt, I told her I wasnt interested and it is not an issue as everyone has a past, no big deal. So we got married and lets just say, she didnt seem too inexperienced in the bedroom dept. Again, my issue is not whether she is a virgin or not, it is that she lies abt it. its the lies that upset me esp when there is no reason to. 3) I frequently travel out of state for work, so she is with the kids more than me. anyway we decided not to give sodas/sugary stuff nor any unhealthy processed food to the toddlers. When we talk/skype abt it, she tells me they r eating healthy, but when I get back, boys are chomping on fries and hanker for sodas. WTF!! 4) other various many issues, she tells me one thing but then I found out its something else. Bottomline: W lies to me abt stuff, it may be not v impt, family, household matters, or pretty huge like 1. Because of this, we get into a lot of fights. I am out of state a lot, so when I come back, we spend time fighting. I dont want to break up the family cos of kids and I love her, but I dont want her to lie to me. I keep telling her dont lie, just tell me. Spouse is the one person you should be honest with. What should I do, this keeps playing on my head, esp 1. I have a high pressure job, and this impairs my job performance and affecting me overall.
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