TheUnthoughtKnown Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 While I've been obsessing over my ex again, I thought of picture postcard moments we've had; sitting in a coffee shop with our hot chocolates when she mischievously dabbed my nose with whipped cream and smiled that incredible smile of hers (God I loved that); losing a bet with her that meant I had to do the dishes (her reaction when I lost the bet was worth washing all the dishes in Britain); slow dancing to Guns N Roses' November Rain completely spontaneously when it came on the radio; those moments where she was completely open with me and I got to see the real her, the one I bet not a lot of people see. Thing is, I've got memories like that with my current gf. Why the hell am I so fixated on these old memories? Why can't I remember the bad days? The arguments? In retrospect everything seemed so rosy then, and so bleak now. All I do is worry; worry about bills, rent, my future, when (if) I'll have children. I want to fix my life right now so I don't have to worry about my future. And maybe I can stop looking at the past like its the best thing I'll ever have.
stevie_23 Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Mmm. This is a rather existential and common problem a lot of people have (including me). Someone once told me something rather wise (and forgive me because I'll probably phrase it all wrong)... We view the past as perfect because we have the security of knowing its outcome. We forget the stress and fear and uncertainties we felt back then because they've gone and all that's left is the good times, with nothing in their way. We view the future as scary because of its uncertainty. We focus mainly on the negative because we fear it and see it as something to be fixed or prevented so as to avoid pain and unhappiness. Because of this, we have trouble fully enjoying the present. We veer between the past (and its apparent perfection, aka safety / security) and the future (and its apparent fear, aka uncertainty). Thus, we can never appreciate what we have right now. In 5 years time, you may look back on this stage in your life with rose coloured glasses too.
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