Destiny80 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I am I'm currently going through a divorce. It's been going on for two years. I have two young children who mean the world to me. My ex neglected me for years and has been known to be violent at times. I suffer from anxiety attacks which left me feeling isolated and worthless. After the birth of my second child I began to see a therapist who helped change my outlook. I began to gain confidence, get a better job and began to socialise again. It's then I met an amazing guy at work who was kind and complimentary. We have so much in common. I began to have feelings for him, and him for me but I'm still technically married and my ex still lives with me. He also lived with his ex so we both felt uncomfortable taking a step towards a relationship. Last year we got closer and on a few occasions kissed but we've never really spoken about our feelings for each other. I was then signed off work for a couple of months with anxiety due to my divorce. On return to work I discovered he was engaged to his ex. I of course was confused and devastated but I politely congratulated him as I didn't want to appear bitter. I heard they had began to get close again during the summer while I was off work and he hastily asked her to marry him. Within a few months he began texting me again. At first I tried to keep our relationship platonic but one day he confessed he thought about me all the time and said 'there is something about me'. I admitted I felt the same. I expressed my concerns about his situation but he said that we'd not done anything wrong. I was confused and said so were just flirting? He said no he'd like something to happen between us. He's so hot and cold with me, I'm so confused. I want to tell him to stay away and concentrate on her but I can't let go. I feel bad for his fiancé. If he's flirting with me so soon after getting engaged surely she's not the one? I find it difficult to talk to him about our situation as he always plays it down, but I feel that there is a connection between us that needs to be addressed. I don't want to scare him away but I guess I've already lost?
darkmoon Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 (edited) as things are, you're volunteering to be a side-peice, but i think it's because you are blue and seeking a happy situation there's a big difference beween phoning each other at home and weekend dates and outings which is a fully-fledged relationship, and secret sex which is only an affair, an affair is not a fully-fledged relationship can't let go, you write, you could keep hold but not have sex, or call his bluff and ask him to come back single (i had one boyf that did) plz don't have all the pain of having a married/engaged man as a boyf, a mere affair Edited January 10, 2013 by darkmoon
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