I want to ask my father for some assistance

[StrawManProphecies]

Financial assistance. However, I'm finding it SUPER hard for me to do so. To give a brief back story, my father and I never had the closest of relationships. He has constantly been in and out of my life and was never really there for me when I needed him the most. He's claimed me and my sister numerous amounts of times on his taxes and we NEVER EVER seen one penny from him. Nothing.

 

And the times he did help us he acted as if we didn't deserve it. As if we were harassing him, bothering him. He would buy a backpack for school then act like his job was done and we wouldn't see him again. As a child and teenager I always HAD to look for him. He never came looking for us.

 

At the age of 26, things haven't changed. He never ask if things are okay, if I am alright or anything. If I need anything I HAVE to go to him. I can assure you all, that I NEVER did anything to him. He was just always a lousy father.

 

Last year, he ran into about 350,00 dollars from a law suit settlement (after taxes, lawyer fees and all that). I didn't even know he had this money until months afterwards. He gave my sister money because she ASKED him for it.

 

 

Now, I'm not trying to sound entitled to getting some money but as his son, I would think he would make sure or ask if I was okay with something. I know if my granny, my mum, or my uncle fell into such money they would automatically ask me if I need something. Not my father though and trust me, I'm not surprised at all.

 

He's spent his money on my other people and family members, did many things and even purchased a boxing gym and never asked if I needed any money. Again, I was doing fine. I've done completely okay without him all these years and I can continue.

 

The past 3 months have been financially hard on me. And I might even not have a job soon. I want some financial backing so I can start job hunting and have some money for transportation and to renew my license. I don't have any money for all that and I am sure you all can draw the conclusion from here--I WANT to ask my father for money and have been contemplating it for such a long time.

 

The problem with asking him is that he'll take it personally. As in "OH, NOW you want to come to me!? NOW you need me!? HA!!". He'll make it a big deal, he'll make it known to everyone that I'm crawling to him for money. My father is very narcissistic and likes to make himself look superior in anyway he can. And with his side of the family completely believing being delusional and pretending he is such a great guy despite the scumbag things he's done to them, they'll look at me as if I m just leeching from him.

 

I'm not so concerned with what everyone else would say honestly but its more about him and myself. Knowing that I don't to have to rely on him and him acting as if I owe him something if he lends me money (and maybe if I do?). I just feel after all the years of him abandoning me using money for his own benefits and to support his skeezy lifestyle, he owes it to me. I'm not the one to think like that. I've never been one to feel entitled to anything.

 

I feel like I would be lowering myself if I ask him for a little money JUST to help me get back on my feet a little bit. As his only son for crying out loud. I'm not trying to give a sob story or look or sympathy but its a pain in the ass.

 

What should I do? Should I just suck it up and ask him? Or should I continue to find my way? I know I can do well eventually and don't need him but he money can really help at this moment.

 

Thank you all and any honest insight, opinions, thoughts, or welcomed. Anyone who wants to be a dingbat to just be a dingbat, please don't comment.

[darkmoon]

how old are you? do you want a loan or a gift? life is unfair if you've got a dad who might just be secretly jealous of you (which explains alot) but a loan paid back with interest makes you reasonable, still, if he likes being unpleasant, sorry, but realistically speaking you're stuffed, i'm sorry though