charlietheginger Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Not everyman wants to sink his penis In a vagina. Some men enjoy interaction Such as talking , dinner ,movies , amusement Parks. Once the penis enters the vagina two people Intertwine into one . Emotions feeling become Involved situation can become complex. The man Has alot to lose and often the risk reward means Risking a relationship and losing that person altogether. Many women however are willing to lose a friendship becuase they want to persue a relationship. Example A women i met at the gym have small talk with. Talked About thanksgiving christmas wished each other happy newyear. I see her working out doing yoga balancing poses weight training She is very smart and a total beauty. I enjoy seeing her and small talk so much that i risk Losing it if i ask her out and things don't click. so you must see from his standpoint his risk
skylark100 Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 He's just shy, and probably a virgin, and embarassed about it, and lacking a little confidence because of the who situation. He isn't gay.... If he is attracted to you, and it sounds like he is....it's making it even more difficult for him. I was like this once, so I think I know where he is at. Continue to lead, but be direct, he will appreciate that a lot, and let him know you like him. Be prepared for a little awkwardness when you get intimate, but it will go away pretty fast. On another note, I don't care how shy a guy is, if he has seen you 6 times in a month he likes you. He really does. You need to have an up front convo with him about your feelings. Once that happens, he'll be your BF if you want.
KungFuJoe Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Uhhh...yeah. Just tell him you like him already. Some guys can't read women for ****. I know because I was the exact same way. Granted I was a lot younger but he's probably just shy and modest. 1
suladas Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 I thought boldness was so attractive in men, why are you trying to date a guy who has literally no confidence?. How do you know he has no confidence? You don't. Just because a guy don't make a move doesn't mean they are lacking in it or anything.
suladas Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Uhhh...yeah. Just tell him you like him already. Some guys can't read women for ****. I know because I was the exact same way. Granted I was a lot younger but he's probably just shy and modest. I think the better option for her would be just kiss him and make it very clear what your intentions are. It's like 99.99% chance he wants it, go for it. Even if you just talk about it, someone still has to make the move and it will be awkward. Or you could also do it in a text like I had happen to me, I liked that to. When you're planning the date be like let's go to dinner, movie, then make out. Girls can get away with that easily. Plus I found if you go out with them like that and make no moves, it makes women so hot and they eventually just jump you. But it is a fine line, because some will just give up.
Author TheZebra Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 I thought boldness was so attractive in men, why are you trying to date a guy who has literally no confidence?. Dude, I didn't even recognize you without your picture and quotes and stuff. Anyways, the answer is because I like him for many other reasons. He's bright, ambitious, we come from the same culture, when it comes to politics we're both Libertarian, we have the same views on religion, genuinely nice, and here's a BIG one: he's always happy and positive about life. He smiles at me and it's like the whole day brightens up. He's never down in the dumps and complaining about life. When I'm with him it's as if everything's fine. When I mention something I'm sad or worried about, he immediately does or says something to cheer me up. A happy, stable, well-adjusted person is highly undervalued in the dating world, but it makes all the difference. 1
Author TheZebra Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 In regards to which step is better (doing something obvious like kissing vs just telling him that I like him as more than a friend), I think that'll depend on the situation and what makes the most sense at the time. I'm not a big believer in having to have a 100% perfect moment, but I don't want to say 'OK, we're kissing him, let's go' and follow that through no matter what signs he's giving me, or what we're doing or saying to each other at the time. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it has to fit. I have a feeling I'll know what to do when the moment comes. And thanks for your input as well charlie. Although I could see myself having an awesome friendship with him, I would be wiling to risk it for a relationship and as you say, that's where some people differ.
NoMoreJerks Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Well obviously you're into him so I'll give you advice. He may be one of those new age men who likes being treated like a woman. You should make all the first moves, first kiss, first sex attempt all that stuff. Enjoy. OK, wtf, you need to provide details about this phenomenon/"new age" term, like, NOW. My ex was like that, sorta.. Well, he gave me the first kiss, but aside from that? I felt like the man in the relationship, because he just wanted to lay back and let me do all the work, yes, even in bed.
NoMoreJerks Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 In regards to which step is better (doing something obvious like kissing vs just telling him that I like him as more than a friend), I think that'll depend on the situation and what makes the most sense at the time. I'm not a big believer in having to have a 100% perfect moment, but I don't want to say 'OK, we're kissing him, let's go' and follow that through no matter what signs he's giving me, or what we're doing or saying to each other at the time. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it has to fit. I have a feeling I'll know what to do when the moment comes. And thanks for your input as well charlie. Although I could see myself having an awesome friendship with him, I would be wiling to risk it for a relationship and as you say, that's where some people differ. How long have you two know each other for??? I mean, I hate to say this, but he still has not even kissed you? Seriously? IMO, that's a red flag.. I mean, sure, he could be shy (he doesn't sound like he's terribly shy around you), maybe even a virgin, but come on, not even a kiss? Maybe you're misreading his body language, and he's not interested in you "that way".. the only time that I'd expect a guy not to kiss me after having spent a whole month together (on and off), is if he was not into me, or was grossed out by me.
Author TheZebra Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 How long have you two know each other for??? I mean, I hate to say this, but he still has not even kissed you? Seriously? IMO, that's a red flag.. I mean, sure, he could be shy (he doesn't sound like he's terribly shy around you), maybe even a virgin, but come on, not even a kiss? Maybe you're misreading his body language, and he's not interested in you "that way".. the only time that I'd expect a guy not to kiss me after having spent a whole month together (on and off), is if he was not into me, or was grossed out by me. Yeah, I know, thus the title of the thread. It's just weird that he keeps accepting all of my invitations to do stuff and even asking himself. Quite honestly, based on what he's told me about his social life, outside of his family and co-workers I'm the person he's seen the most in this past month. Seriously. Dude seems to move slowly. Like I sad in my first post, I asked him out 3 times before he got the ball rolling and is now the one doing the calling/planning. Maybe he does see me as only a friend - that's always a possibility. Maybe he's just bad with women. Maybe he's had a bad experience and is cautious. I don't know. What I do know is that I didn't come all this way to not find out.
venusianx13 Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 (edited) Okay, now that the gay thing has been dismissed... I think it's great that you two are connecting so well, although nothing physical has happened yet. I think the best relationships are built this way. Still, though... no reason to not make a move at this point; IMO, you've got a promising hand going here, even despite the fact that's it's moving more slowly than you'd like it to... Edited January 11, 2013 by venusianx13
Nightsky Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Night: I like the quiet/shy ones; I wouldn't call him feminine though. I don't mind making the first move on a guy if he signals that it's ok. If I hadn't made the first move on my ex I would still be a virgin Here's me btw: http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb206/darlatan/Me_zps760c086f.png You think I'd hold it against you if you were still a virgin, that's kinda a plus! I mean you say you like shy guys but here you are posting about "I don't even know anymore" and if you think its bad now in the honey moon phase believe me you won't find all this nearly as cute a year or two down the line. Also a shy guys like a loser, so if some other girl shows him attention god forbid can you really trust him... Well that isn't even the main problem, the main problem is the "I don't even know anymore" feeling he's giving you. Also your picture how sweet and innocent you are. Yum yum. Dude, I didn't even recognize you without your picture and quotes and stuff. Anyways, the answer is because I like him for many other reasons. He's bright, ambitious, we come from the same culture, when it comes to politics we're both Libertarian, we have the same views on religion, genuinely nice, and here's a BIG one: he's always happy and positive about life. He smiles at me and it's like the whole day brightens up. He's never down in the dumps and complaining about life. When I'm with him it's as if everything's fine. When I mention something I'm sad or worried about, he immediately does or says something to cheer me up. A happy, stable, well-adjusted person is highly undervalued in the dating world, but it makes all the difference. That's all great, but now he has you felling "I don't even know anymore." Don't you want to feel liked! Don't you want some passion! Yeah you do but this guy he's kind of insulting, timid to the point of insulting. Oh and if this guy isn't into you and hanging out with you like this he's even more of a loser. I mean who hangs out one on one this many times with a girl and makes it so unclear. I mean I can't ever see myself hanging out with a lot with a girl I wasn't into... but if I did have a girl who was just a friend I'd say it a lot. "WE'RE JUST FRIENDS! NOTHING MORE! NOTHING!".. but thats like twilight zone world. In regards to which step is better (doing something obvious like kissing vs just telling him that I like him as more than a friend), I think that'll depend on the situation and what makes the most sense at the time. I'm not a big believer in having to have a 100% perfect moment, but I don't want to say 'OK, we're kissing him, let's go' and follow that through no matter what signs he's giving me, or what we're doing or saying to each other at the time. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it has to fit. I have a feeling I'll know what to do when the moment comes. And thanks for your input as well charlie. Although I could see myself having an awesome friendship with him, I would be wiling to risk it for a relationship and as you say, that's where some people differ. If you want to be the man just kiss him screw the signs. When I'm on a date with a girl the fact that we're together doing something is the sign. I expect her to be scared and timid about things. If she's not and she's obvious about wanting to be kissed all the better though. I don't think you're going to enjoy being the man though. Oh and he should know you like him, but since it seems he may be socially retarded fine tell him. I would never recommend a guy just tell a girl "I like you" pretty lame. BUT for a girl to do it to a guy it's like pretty much more forward than most girls ever are. Yeah but he'll probably just think to himself, oh she likes me so why isn't she making a move yet. DAMN I'VE BEEN FRIENDZONED... he's probably trying to friend his way into your heart. To afraid of rejection. OK, wtf, you need to provide details about this phenomenon/"new age" term, like, NOW. My ex was like that, sorta.. Well, he gave me the first kiss, but aside from that? I felt like the man in the relationship, because he just wanted to lay back and let me do all the work, yes, even in bed. A man especially in bed should enjoy taking control. Some "new age" man as I JOKED is a guy who is the feminist ideal. Really he should be mocked and avoided at all cost. I mean this is for those who want a lesbian relationship with a dick involved. Personally I'd be happy initiating sex 100% of the time, not that I'd complain if my gf did. Also even when I lay on my back I lick to pump and grab and do things. He's just a mangina. Yeah, I know, thus the title of the thread. It's just weird that he keeps accepting all of my invitations to do stuff and even asking himself. Quite honestly, based on what he's told me about his social life, outside of his family and co-workers I'm the person he's seen the most in this past month. Seriously. Dude seems to move slowly. Like I sad in my first post, I asked him out 3 times before he got the ball rolling and is now the one doing the calling/planning. Maybe he does see me as only a friend - that's always a possibility. Maybe he's just bad with women. Maybe he's had a bad experience and is cautious. I don't know. What I do know is that I didn't come all this way to not find out. If he sees you only as a friend he is a very disturbed person. Don't rule that out obviously. I mean even if he likes you I see him as disturbed. Look even if he eventually does make a move, or lets you rape him it doesn't mean something will click. This lame duck laid back way of not even knowing if he likes you may be the entire relationship. I'm very surprised you haven't lost attraction. Like I said if you do want this guy if you are still some how magically attracted and being the man doesn't turn you off go ahead. Just grab him and kiss him next time you two are alone. Make all the moves.
Author TheZebra Posted January 15, 2013 Author Posted January 15, 2013 (edited) Nightsky, I know we have a lot of differences when we post, but I really do appreciate that post of yours (serious - no sarcasm). I'm not going to respond individually to all the points you made since I agree with you on a lot of it but I will take it all to heart and mind. It's just hard.. you know how attraction plays with your brain. I really should've given him a kiss today; I was already hugging him but didn't think of it. We're going out to lunch tomorrow, so we'll see what happens. I think he also wanted to do something Friday, but I had to cut him off (was already late for work). I figured I'd just bring it up tomorrow; better than getting yelled at by my boss. I really hope the rest of the 'relationship' isn't this way forever as you mentioned, but it is a good point. If things don't pick up, I have no issue moving on. I'm not the most passionate woman in the world, but I want SOME passion! Maybe the dude's just lonely? Dunno, when he saw me today he talked my ear off. I thought women were supposed to do that to men lol. I swear, most of our conversations are 70/30, which works well for me. I kept inching towards the elevator to leave and he kept on going. It's like he didn't get the I-need-to-go hint. It wasn't even much of a hint since I did tell him 'I should be going back to work or my boss will kill me' when he asked me if I wanted to grab coffee. Well, he hasn't gotten any other hints, sooo... He just has that face (by face I mean general impression) of just a clueless guy. Like, he IS the guy who would ask me if the panties in his car were mine and then hold onto it because he's so clueless and not out of malice (reference to tigress' thread). He's just so friggin innocent looking. Edited January 15, 2013 by TheZebra
Author TheZebra Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 (edited) Ok, I think this guy has no idea that I like him. The following happened today. I know men can be forgetful, but this goes beyond forgetful and into cluelessness. It was my bday. I had already told him once before, but didn't really expect him to remember. So that he could 'save face' today, when he asked where I wanted to eat, I told him some place good for a bday. He picked out a place, we went. Then during lunch, my phone kept buzzing from people writing on my FB wall wishing me a happy bday, which i commented to him and led to a greater discussion about FB. Towards the end of lunch, he asks me on which day my bday is this week (?!?!) Ok, if after all of that he didn't realize that my bday was TODAY, then he probably has no idea how I feel about him. Which is consistent with how he's behaved up until this point. He's not a jerk, so he wouldn't string me along. The only thing that makes sense is that he doesn't know. I dunno how he could be so clueless, whenever we talk business it's obvious he knows his ****. And he frequently tells me how he used to party a lot a few years back; I feel like a guy that 'outgoing' would be able to pick up the signs from a mile away. BTW, going to lunch today was his idea; he scheduled it and like I said earlier, was talking my ear off when I saw him yesterday. At least he's stepped up from 'awkward handshake' into a hug. I tried asking him to an event this weekend but he gave me a maybe and told me he'd let me know. Didn't get a great vibe from him. But then a couple of hours later he texts me something cake related (long story, we had a whole talk about bday cake flavors before parting ways). During lunch he even complimented me more than usual. The funniest thing he said was when he was ranting about how people post inappropriate things on FB, and contrasted me with his friends by saying the stuff I post is awesome and even commented on specific things I posted these past weeks (I started thinking; well, someone checks my wall) Well, I'm going to the event this weekend with or without him. If he wants to join me, awesome, if not, I'll just go with my best friend. At this point it's getting downright tiring (emotionally). Edited January 16, 2013 by TheZebra
SJC2008 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 He's probably a virgin. You need to escalate the physical contact. This is why you can't take it slow with a woman. This is why you can't be nervous around a woman. This is why you have to put it in her before someone else does. Edit: SOME women!
Author TheZebra Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 He's a complete retard if he has no idea. He probably has an idea and either is gay, isn't gay but acts gay like this, or likes you back but want you to be the man in the relationship and really chase him. Or hell, maybe he is on the autism scale. Wholigan, care to pitch in? Knowing business and "claiming" you partied a lot doesn't mean sht really. If some one tells me they partied a lot I'm not going to assume they are smooth or something haha. The reason for my hypothesis (as wrong as it may be) is that if he's been at activities that require being social, he must have some practice dealing with people to read basic body language. If you think this is tiring emotionally just imagine dating him! haha Well you obviously still like this guy so enjoy all this. If he likes you, he sure has you where he wants. I mean you're here writing and thinking about this every day lol. If it had been me I would have gotten you a small gift like some candy I knew you'd like. Than I would have taken you to lunch and paid for it also trying to get you to take a drink during the lunch break lol.. cuz it's your birthday! That's sweet of ya, 'preciated. That's what I would have done for him if it was his bday too.
Author TheZebra Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 This is why you can't take it slow with a woman. This is why you can't be nervous around a woman. This is why you have to put it in her before someone else does. Edit: SOME women! Taking it slow is fine if that's made clear somewhere in the beginning. If he had told me, at any point, "look, I like you and want to get to know you better, but I want to take things slow" I would've never posted this thread. My ex wanted to take it slow - he waited until we were together for 6 months before having sex. Yes, 6 months. But he made his intentions clear from day 1.
ascendotum Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Any suggestions? I touch his arm when we talk, but I dunno what else to do. I suck at this flirting thing. Really. lol. Initiating conversation, asking him out, touching him, kissing him, sitting in his lap. You're doing pretty good on the flirting front. With your recent post about him asking you if it was your birthday...weird. You could fish for his feelings more if you wanted to by dropping it into the conversation that you have been going out on dates with other guys, and see what his reaction is. Really, I think you should put him in your 'friend' category and keep looking.
suladas Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 It's so tough to say considering how many dates you have been on what he is thinking. Partying a lot doesn't really mean anything, or any action with women. I think you just need to go for it if you really like him. Either do a blunt/funny text hinting at making out, or just kiss him yourself. It might not be that he doesn't know you like him, he might just not know how or be too scared to make a move.
suladas Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Really. lol. Initiating conversation, asking him out, touching him, kissing him, sitting in his lap. You're doing pretty good on the flirting front. With your recent post about him asking you if it was your birthday...weird. You could fish for his feelings more if you wanted to by dropping it into the conversation that you have been going out on dates with other guys, and see what his reaction is. Really, I think you should put him in your 'friend' category and keep looking. Sorry but i think that is a awful idea. If he is too shy to make a move (very likely the case) this will just end things as he likely won't step up.
SJC2008 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Taking it slow is fine if that's made clear somewhere in the beginning. If he had told me, at any point, "look, I like you and want to get to know you better, but I want to take things slow" I would've never posted this thread. My ex wanted to take it slow - he waited until we were together for 6 months before having sex. Yes, 6 months. But he made his intentions clear from day 1. I'd fee the same way if I was in your shoes. He'll I'm a little shy but go for a kiss on the second date! I just don't like it when a man doesn't try to bed a woman as fast as possible a lot of women will pull the "He's a virgin" card!
Author TheZebra Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 It's so tough to say considering how many dates you have been on what he is thinking. Partying a lot doesn't really mean anything, or any action with women. I think you just need to go for it if you really like him. Either do a blunt/funny text hinting at making out, or just kiss him yourself. It might not be that he doesn't know you like him, he might just not know how or be too scared to make a move. lol, I could always just 'miss' when I go to kiss his cheek Whoops! Anyway, what throws me is off is the following. In the beginning I could ask him to come to the garbage dump with me and he'd say yes. Then he suddenly started doing the asking out. It suddenly became 'hey, I'm going to this restaurant, want to join?' or 'want to go for some coffee or tea?' or 'want to come to this happy hour with me?' I thought that was a great sign. Now the last 2 times I suggested something for the weekend, he gets all awkward and iffy on me. If he liked me, wouldn't he leap on the chance to see me on a weekend?
ThaWholigan Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Ok, I think this guy has no idea that I like him. The following happened today. I know men can be forgetful, but this goes beyond forgetful and into cluelessness. It was my bday. I had already told him once before, but didn't really expect him to remember. So that he could 'save face' today, when he asked where I wanted to eat, I told him some place good for a bday. He picked out a place, we went. Then during lunch, my phone kept buzzing from people writing on my FB wall wishing me a happy bday, which i commented to him and led to a greater discussion about FB. Towards the end of lunch, he asks me on which day my bday is this week (?!?!) Ok, if after all of that he didn't realize that my bday was TODAY, then he probably has no idea how I feel about him. Which is consistent with how he's behaved up until this point. He's not a jerk, so he wouldn't string me along. The only thing that makes sense is that he doesn't know. I dunno how he could be so clueless, whenever we talk business it's obvious he knows his ****. And he frequently tells me how he used to party a lot a few years back; I feel like a guy that 'outgoing' would be able to pick up the signs from a mile away. BTW, going to lunch today was his idea; he scheduled it and like I said earlier, was talking my ear off when I saw him yesterday. At least he's stepped up from 'awkward handshake' into a hug. I tried asking him to an event this weekend but he gave me a maybe and told me he'd let me know. Didn't get a great vibe from him. But then a couple of hours later he texts me something cake related (long story, we had a whole talk about bday cake flavors before parting ways). During lunch he even complimented me more than usual. The funniest thing he said was when he was ranting about how people post inappropriate things on FB, and contrasted me with his friends by saying the stuff I post is awesome and even commented on specific things I posted these past weeks (I started thinking; well, someone checks my wall) Well, I'm going to the event this weekend with or without him. If he wants to join me, awesome, if not, I'll just go with my best friend. At this point it's getting downright tiring (emotionally). He does sound autistic . Especially the bit about talking about the cake . This is the kind of stuff that I did when I was into my old crush back at 19/20. Except I ALWAYS remembered her birthday - I just never went to see her on them . Which is bad because she actually cooked for me on my 20th . He probably has no idea how to even initiate things with you if that's what he wanted, but the way he engages with you suggests he likes you.
Author TheZebra Posted January 16, 2013 Author Posted January 16, 2013 Well, he remembers really random things that I tell him. 2 weeks ago I told him about this business trip my dad was taking to the middle east and how I was thinking of going with him, but we barely talked about it. During lunch today he brings it up and asks me when the trip is happening. He remembered the specific countries and everything. Buttt not my bday
ThaWholigan Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Well, he remembers really random things that I tell him. 2 weeks ago I told him about this business trip my dad was taking to the middle east and how I was thinking of going with him, but we barely talked about it. During lunch today he brings it up and asks me when the trip is happening. He remembered the specific countries and everything. Buttt not my bday Yeah, sounds classic. Seems like he's very high functioning at the least - he probably did remember your birthday but tried to make it seem like he didn't by asking (it is strange, but that is how our minds work sometimes ). I could be wrong, but he does sound a little on the spectrum - I'm reading certain things and cringing because I used to (and sometimes still) do them .
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