To stay or go

[Texans23]

Was with ex for 3 years half long distance half together. the last half was very long distance. She eventually ended it, (lost some feelings do to not seeing each other). It was somewhat mutual, but mostly her decision. I stopped talking to her, but she kept contacting me. I told her to stop unless she wanted to get back together. She continued to do it.

 

She is now closer only 3 hours away, but said she doesn't want to date again until we are in the same town.. And that wont be a year for me since im in school. We hang out a couple times a month she starting to text me more then ever, and all that other stuff, but still sticks to her guns about being in the same town. Everybody just tells me to keep it casual, and doing what Im doing. She says shes not looking for anybody nor does she want anybody. I say the same thing, but you never know what will happen. Just looking for opinions on what to do.

 

I do love her, and she said she still has some feelings for me. She said its just hard, because she sees her friends with all their bf's and she wants me to be able to hang out a few times+ a week rather then 2 or once a month. Any opinions/advice would be great. Thanks all

[macman92]

Two ways you can play this. You can cease all communication with her until she is ready to re-commit to the relationship. It will be hard and you may end up losing her in the end, but if she really is serious about you she will make the effort.

 

Also, you can continue to keep it casual with her and see where it goes. You can continue to contact and hang out and see if feelings reappear for each other. You say that the reason for you two splitting was because of the lack of physical presence in each other's lives. Maybe hanging out with her casually is just what you both need in order to make it work. Down side to this is that you could be friend zoned rather quick or just waste a lot of your time.

 

If it were me in this situation I would probably cease contact with her until she is ready. I say this because I don't want to put my love life on hold for anyone. There are plenty of girls who would love to have you. It may not seem like it because of the feelings that you have towards your ex. You may think that your ex is the best that you may have had, which is a totally false way of thinking.

 

There will always be someone better than your ex. She is called your wife. You won't find her if your still trying to get with an unsure ex. Who knows, maybe your ex is the one for you and this is just a test that you must pass in order to find out. Just my two cents.

[Texans23]

Two ways you can play this. You can cease all communication with her until she is ready to re-commit to the relationship. It will be hard and you may end up losing her in the end, but if she really is serious about you she will make the effort.

 

Also, you can continue to keep it casual with her and see where it goes. You can continue to contact and hang out and see if feelings reappear for each other. You say that the reason for you two splitting was because of the lack of physical presence in each other's lives. Maybe hanging out with her casually is just what you both need in order to make it work. Down side to this is that you could be friend zoned rather quick or just waste a lot of your time.

 

If it were me in this situation I would probably cease contact with her until she is ready. I say this because I don't want to put my love life on hold for anyone. There are plenty of girls who would love to have you. It may not seem like it because of the feelings that you have towards your ex. You may think that your ex is the best that you may have had, which is a totally false way of thinking.

 

There will always be someone better than your ex. She is called your wife. You won't find her if your still trying to get with an unsure ex. Who knows, maybe your ex is the one for you and this is just a test that you must pass in order to find out. Just my two cents.

 

 

I agree, thank you for the great reply.

[almosteverythingx]

Two ways you can play this. You can cease all communication with her until she is ready to re-commit to the relationship. It will be hard and you may end up losing her in the end, but if she really is serious about you she will make the effort.

 

Also, you can continue to keep it casual with her and see where it goes. You can continue to contact and hang out and see if feelings reappear for each other. You say that the reason for you two splitting was because of the lack of physical presence in each other's lives. Maybe hanging out with her casually is just what you both need in order to make it work. Down side to this is that you could be friend zoned rather quick or just waste a lot of your time.

 

If it were me in this situation I would probably cease contact with her until she is ready. I say this because I don't want to put my love life on hold for anyone. There are plenty of girls who would love to have you. It may not seem like it because of the feelings that you have towards your ex. You may think that your ex is the best that you may have had, which is a totally false way of thinking.

 

There will always be someone better than your ex. She is called your wife. You won't find her if your still trying to get with an unsure ex. Who knows, maybe your ex is the one for you and this is just a test that you must pass in order to find out. Just my two cents.

 

Beautifully put!

[NoMoreJerks]

She wants to have her cake and eat it too. She wants to make sure you're still around (and "available") when she does make up her mind. She is preventing you from moving on. She wants everything on her own terms. If you want that sort of dynamics in your relationship (if you do get back together), stick around. If not, cut all ties, change your number, email, etc., or otherwise completely ignore her texts and calls (if it doesn't bother you -- if it bothers you, change your number).